A few years back, we were at a holiday party when the host grabbed my butt. I turned in horror and he observed to his friend that what he did was “probably not good.” I scooped up my spouse, explained that I wouldn’t be in the same room with that man again, and I’m happy to report to you all my life has been blissfully unwanted buttgrab free.

The most ideal situation is not having entitled men grab women when they feel they’ll get away with it. The second best outcome was mine: a partner who believed me and respected my desire not to be around someone I’ve deemed unsafe. But I do wonder if I should have made a bigger deal out of it, or sought to learn if this was his common course of conduct. I wondered how many other women deemed him unsafe. I’ve thought about that a lot as I dug into this case.

Lieutenant Colonel Hilton seemed to have a familiarity with women that was both unearned and unwanted. Perhaps to him it was no big deal - he trained as a urologist, someone who saw sensitive areas all day. Perhaps to him a body was a body. But it sure mattered to the women whose bodily autonomy he ignored or overbore over the course of his tenure overseas.

I relied heavily on the AFCCA opinion and an article on the matter from Stripes.

This episode involved discussion of sexual assault. There are a number of resources available for survivors and victim of sexual assault, including the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN). They offer a free, confidential national sexual assault hotline at 800-656-HOPE as well as an online chat option.

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Disclaimer: Conduct Unbecoming is a podcast where I get to talk about interesting crimes and cases that involve US military service members. I research, write, and produce the podcast myself… the opinions expressed are my own and, perhaps it’s obvious, Conduct Unbecoming is not approved, endorsed, or authorized by the Department of Defense. I am not a military JAG and have never been a military JAG. While I'm a practicing attorney, I don't do direct criminal defense. This podcast is a passion project, not legal advice or expert opinion.