Buckle up, fam — this episode of Bible Stories With Sick South African Slang is so lekker, it makes even the funniest podcasts on the planet look like stale Nik Naks. We’re diving head‑first (literally) into the wild ride of Jonah, the oke who thought he could ghost God, only to end up as the first passenger in history to get swallowed by a fish and spat out like yesterday’s snoek.

Your host Bakkies van der Breeze (powered by Energade and pure chaos) is joined by the legendary Tannie Zoidie, the auntie who’s been boiling since ’94, and Skollie the Seagull, a feathered hooligan banned from every beach in Cape Town. Together, they turn Jonah’s misadventure into the most kiff Uber story ever told — complete with vuvuzelas, dodgy braai jokes, and seagull squawks that sound suspiciously like your cousin at karaoke.

• Jonah tries to run from God like a moegoe sneaking out of a braai.

• A storm hits harder than your ouma’s wooden spoon.

• Jonah gets yeeted overboard and swallowed by the ultimate Uber — a giant fish.

• Inside the fish, Jonah finally prays, proving that even when you smell like old snoek, God hears you.

• The fish spits him out (wet splat included), and Jonah finally obeys, preaching to Nineveh with fish‑juice regret dripping off him.

Jonah 2:2 — “In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me.”

This verse reminds us that no matter how far we run, no matter how deep we sink, God’s grace is bigger than any storm, any fish, and any mistake. Salvation is not about how fast we can swim away — it’s about Jesus pulling us back to shore with love that never quits.

Kids will laugh at Skollie’s chirps, parents will nod at Tannie Zoidie’s sass, and everyone will walk away with a clear, joyful message: God saves, God forgives, and God’s love is stronger than a boerewors roll at a rugby match.

So grab your headphones, bru, and get ready for the only Bible podcast where Jonah’s fish ride feels like Uber eXtreme, and salvation comes with a side of slap chips.

What do you get when Jesus turns a tiny lunchbox into a mega stadium braai? You get Fish & Bread Braai for Twelve Thousand Bru’s — a slang-packed, side-splitting retelling of the miracle of the loaves and fishes, brought to life by three unforgettable characters:

• Skattie Sam (South African) – the cheeky host who drops slang hotter than peri-peri on a bunny chow.

• Aunty Koeksister (Southern Belle) – sweet, sassy, and always stirring the pot with her syrupy charm.

• Boetie Biltong (Gruff Bible voice) – deadpan joker with a voice like thunder and a punchline for every verse.

The crowd is starving, the disciples are stressing harder than a oke who forgot to pay his DSTV bill, and all they’ve got is five loaves and two fishes — basically one packet of Nik Naks for a rugby stadium. But Jesus, the ultimate Provider, flips the script. Bread multiplies like WhatsApp groups after a wedding, fish flip out like they just heard they’re trending on TikTok, and suddenly everyone’s full — with leftovers nogals!

The episode delivers the salvation message straight from John 6:35:“Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.’”

It’s not just about chow — it’s about eternal satisfaction. Jesus fills your soul, not just your stomach.

Expect running gags, slang so lekker it’ll make your ouma giggle, and punchlines that land harder than a boerie roll on a budget. Whether it’s Koeksister comparing Jesus to a braai master or Boetie rating the miracle like a Spur Friday night special, this episode blends biblical truth with belly laughs.

Perfect for families, youth groups, and anyone who thinks Bible stories should come with spice, sass, and salvation. Tune in, chow down, and remember — Jesus doesn’t need Uber Eats. He’s already got the eternal menu sorted.

What do you get when you mix one of the Bible’s most dramatic stories with South African slang and a call‑centre full of lions? Pure comedy gold. In this episode of Bible Stories with Sick South African Slang, Daniel finds himself in the lion’s den — but instead of being torn apart, he’s put on hold.

The cast of characters brings the chaos to life:

• Mzansi Mike (South African narrator) – cheeky, slang‑dropping host who sets the scene with jokes hotter than a bunny chow.
• Daniel – calm, faithful oke who phones in to lodge a complaint about the “not lekker” vibe in the den.
• Bra Simba (Lion Agent) – customer service lion with attitude, offering menu options like “Press your luck for snacks.”
• Auntie Nala (Supervisor Lioness) – sassy escalation manager who admits the lions are fasting because Daniel’s faith vibes are too strong.

The comedy escalates as Daniel calmly quotes Scripture while the lions scramble to log his complaint. The salvation message shines through when Daniel declares from Daniel 6:22: “My God sent His angel, and He shut the mouths of the lions.” The lesson is clear: God’s power saves, even in the scariest den.

Packed with kid‑friendly slang, running gags, and laugh‑out‑loud dialogue, this episode proves that Bible stories can be hilarious and meaningful at the same time. Families will giggle at Bra Simba’s “snack options,” nod along with Auntie Nala’s sass, and cheer as Daniel’s faith wins the day.

Tune in to Daniel vs. the Lion Call Centre for a salvation message wrapped in comedy so sharp, even your ouma will say, “Yoh, that’s lit!”