Buckle up, fam — this episode of Bible Stories With Sick South African Slang is so lekker, it makes even the funniest podcasts on the planet look like stale Nik Naks. We’re diving head‑first (literally) into the wild ride of Jonah, the oke who thought he could ghost God, only to end up as the first passenger in history to get swallowed by a fish and spat out like yesterday’s snoek.

Your host Bakkies van der Breeze (powered by Energade and pure chaos) is joined by the legendary Tannie Zoidie, the auntie who’s been boiling since ’94, and Skollie the Seagull, a feathered hooligan banned from every beach in Cape Town. Together, they turn Jonah’s misadventure into the most kiff Uber story ever told — complete with vuvuzelas, dodgy braai jokes, and seagull squawks that sound suspiciously like your cousin at karaoke.

• Jonah tries to run from God like a moegoe sneaking out of a braai.

• A storm hits harder than your ouma’s wooden spoon.

• Jonah gets yeeted overboard and swallowed by the ultimate Uber — a giant fish.

• Inside the fish, Jonah finally prays, proving that even when you smell like old snoek, God hears you.

• The fish spits him out (wet splat included), and Jonah finally obeys, preaching to Nineveh with fish‑juice regret dripping off him.

Jonah 2:2 — “In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me.”

This verse reminds us that no matter how far we run, no matter how deep we sink, God’s grace is bigger than any storm, any fish, and any mistake. Salvation is not about how fast we can swim away — it’s about Jesus pulling us back to shore with love that never quits.

Kids will laugh at Skollie’s chirps, parents will nod at Tannie Zoidie’s sass, and everyone will walk away with a clear, joyful message: God saves, God forgives, and God’s love is stronger than a boerewors roll at a rugby match.

So grab your headphones, bru, and get ready for the only Bible podcast where Jonah’s fish ride feels like Uber eXtreme, and salvation comes with a side of slap chips.