To begin healing, get away. There should be no contact with the narcissist. None. No acknowledgment and no engagement. Don't fall victim to your sympathy and don't tell yourself he or she will, or has, changed. When your kids exhibit any signs of the parent's behavior, change that behavior immediately, and if they're old enough, explain why. When you get triggered, i.e., memories or words that make you believe you should go back, learn to take the time and space, even if only a minute, to reflect on all the reasons you left. Write them down so you can pull out that paper when necessary. Mental illness comes in many forms, and NPD is usually associated with psychopaths, child molesters, traffickers, and sexual abuse. Prevention is key, but knowing how to get through it and healing, is the lock that needs opening.