For the first time, all in one place, are the award-winning books A Trip to the Hardware Store & Other Calamities and I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course plus seven bonus essays. What a collection! If this doesn't make you smile, then you're not even trying.

A Trip to the Hardware Store

These humorous essays explore such quirky topics as: disastrous home repairs ("A Trip to the Hardware Store"), an unfortunate dinner party ("Dinner Is Served"), the truth about lazy people ("Lazy Bones"), the weird life of a debt collector ("Your Account Is Past Due"), and obsessions with gadgets ("Gadget Girl"). Other essays examine how surreal the aging process is ("Where Did the Time Go?"), why you shouldn't judge a person by his or her job ("Beyond Belief"), and how to complicate simple transactions ("High Finance").

I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course

A collection of humorous insights into important topics ranging from annoying pet people ("I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course") to analyzing your inner child ("Irrational Fears") to living like the Amish in the aftermath of a hurricane ("A Jolt of Electricity"). Other essays examine just how much damage a sneeze can cause ("It All Started with a Loud Sneeze"), why it is so complicated to buy a tube of toothpaste ("Ask Me No Questions"), how a parent's obsessive hobbies can become an inescapable vortex ("Crazy Hobbies"), and why spending the night in a sleep clinic is like being abducted by probing aliens ("Nightmare at the Sleep Clinic").

If you don't see yourself in each of these entertaining essays, then I'm not talking about you, of course.