My name is Garren Holt, and I used to be a long-haul trucker with a taste for trashy audiobooks—the kind you're embarrassed to be caught listening to. Now, I'm a Battle Hauler in a world where monsters are real, people have weird powers, and my new rig is a talking donkey with a pink mohawk and an ego the size of a Peterbilt. Oh, and instead of a truck sporting 600HP, I got stuck with a four-wheeled wooden cart.

I woke up on the side of the road getting my insides rearranged by several pairs of boots belonging to what passed for high-way robbers. From there, everything turned even darker when I could hear my new donkey partner speak into my mind, I was given a mission to retrieve some stolen goods from a bandit camp, and was expected to haul them to a town nearby. At least I ended up with a deathly-beautiful assassin in my passenger seat. What was I supposed to do? Let her walk back to town by herself?

Next thing I knew, we were neck-deep in Flarma, a boomtown run by a corrupt Adventurer's Guild and an even worse nobility. My new situation made every dispatch office I ever dealt with look like a daycare when "keep the red-head alive and take her home" turned to "kill the guild-sanctioned assassins first and try to stay alive long enough to figure out what end of a monster to punch."