Just because we are healing doesn't mean life catches up with us. Today, we will talk about how you can be in therapy, journaling, and setting boundaries… and still repeating toxic patterns. You’ll get: red flags to watch in yourself, antidotes, and maybe learn how to call in softness to yourself and your relationships.

Things I’ve read and citations:

Gottman, J., & Schwartz Gottman, J. (2016). Level 1 clinical training: Gottman method couples therapy. The Gottman Institute.

Hammer, M., & Hammer, B. (2015). Healing our emotional pain and relationship pain. Journal of Psychology & Clinical Psychiatry, 2(5), 00091.

Pinkston, S. N. (2023). Dialect Behavior Therapy's Effects on the Therapeutic Reduction of Self-Destructive Behavior and Cognitive Processes. Praptiningsih, N. A., Mulyono, H., & Setiawan, B. (2024). Toxic relationship in youth communication through self-love intervention strategy. Online Journal of Communication and Media Technologies, 14(2), e202416.

Turpin, A. S. (2024). Healing from Toxic Relationships in Marriage, Dating and Interpersonal Connections.

Wisniewska, M. J. (2024, November 18). 11 Signs of a Toxic Relationship You Do Not Want to Ignore. Break the Cycle. Retrieved August 25, 2025, from https://www.breakthecycle.org/signs-of-a-toxic-relationship/

Wisniewska, M. J. (2024, October 15). 11 Early Signs of a Controlling Man: Never Ignore These Red Flags. Break the Cycle. Retrieved August 25, 2025, from https://www.breakthecycle.org/early-signs-of-a-controlling-man.

cover art: bofenglin

I want to hear from you. What are things you meant to say naked— the truths, the questions, the unsent texts?