What if the greatest barrier to your success isn’t the world outside—but the silent story you keep telling yourself inside your own head?

In this compelling episode of Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham sits down with Dr. Ashok Bhattacharya, psychiatrist and founder of The Empathy Clinic, to explore why empathy isn’t just a “soft skill”—it’s the invisible glue shaping our relationships, workplaces, and personal growth. Dr. Bhattacharya reveals how early life experiences and powerful moments (sometimes as tiny as a single comment from a grade school teacher) can shape the narratives that define—and sometimes limit—us for decades.

Together, Tess and Dr. Bhattacharya dig deep into how we can unravel unhelpful stories, challenge survival-mode thinking, and truly transform how we connect with ourselves and each other. They break down the real difference between empathy, compassion, and kindness, and explain why even a little bit of genuine empathy can make or break a relationship, a workplace, or even your own self-worth.

Key highlights you’ll discover in this episode:

• The surprising childhood experience that led Dr. Bhattacharya to devote his life to empathy.
• Why your brain is hardwired to focus on failures—plus how perfectionism sneaks into relationships and work.
• The “jam jar” analogy that reframes why change often happens slowly—until it happens all at once.
• Why empathy is NOT about agreement—or imagining yourself in someone else’s shoes.
• How to raise emotionally healthy kids and support younger generations who face unprecedented pressures thanks to technology.
• Practical tools for leaders (and coworkers) to foster empathy at work—without needing hours of meetings or group therapy.
• The secrets of reciprocal empathy, especially in couples and intergenerational relationships.
• How embracing difference, not sameness, is the real key to bridging generational divides.

If you’re curious about how to actually practice empathy (not just talk about it), handle disagreement gracefully, or help your team, family, or yourself thrive in a messy, ever-changing world, this episode is packed with actionable wisdom and heartfelt stories.

Timestamps Overview:

00:00 – Intro: The generational “mess” & Tess’s mission

00:31 – Dr. Ashok Bhattacharya’s origin story & why empathy matters

04:40 – How the stories we tell ourselves can cripple us

07:04 – Why falling down (in skating…or life) is harder to process than you think

10:16 – The amplified pressures of today’s tech-driven world for the younger generation

12:39 – Practice, failure, and shame: Why young people get “stuck”

14:40 – What empathy, compassion, and kindness actually are

16:28 – The real challenge of empathy and “getting out of your head”

19:46 – Can you be empathic with people you disagree with?

23:03 – Tess’s therapy work: The invisible ripple effect of empathy

26:57 – “Soft skills” and how small moments shape lives

31:16 – The privilege of being “with” someone as a therapist

32:37 – Why bridging generational divides requires empathy

34:59 – How generations value and practice empathy differently

39:08 – Practical steps for leaders and teams to actively use empathy

42:07 – Why “a little empathy goes a long way” in the workplace

44:08 – Empathy as a proactive force for productivity and trust

45:54 – Where to find Dr. Bhattacharya + his books on empathy and burnout

48:33 – The secret power of reciprocal empathy in couples

49:13 – Outro: Embracing the mess and learning to live in it

Listen in—and discover how empathy isn’t a luxury. It’s your greatest tool for navigating the messiness of modern life.

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