I never planned to write about my life with cerebral palsy (CP), but after years of absurd, frustrating, and hilarious experiences, I had to share them. This book is part memoir, part guide to navigating an able-bodied world when your body has its own agenda. From my mom almost being mistaken for a prostitute to a first date disaster in a movie theater, my life is full of bizarre encounters. Doctors talk over me, cops have been afraid of me, and strangers treat me like a sideshow.

Carla Sosenko was born with Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome, a rare vascular disorder that resulted in legs of different sizes, a mass of flesh on her back, a hunched posture, and other idiosyncrasies big and small. She spent years trying to hide under layers of clothing, and then experimented with the opposite: wearing tiny dresses and short shorts, daring people to stare so she could make them regret it. No matter what she did, she was worried that she didn’t measure up.