Grindr is one of the most psychologically fascinating spaces in the modern gay community. Within minutes, a person can experience attraction, rejection, validation, excitement, disappointment, hope, and loneliness.

In this episode, we explore the psychology behind Grindr and other hookup apps. Topics include intermittent reinforcement, anticipation, fantasy, social comparison, attention, connection, and the power of possibility.

Why do these apps capture so much of our attention?

What keeps us coming back?

What happens in the brain when desire, uncertainty, and connection are concentrated into a single environment?

This episode examines the psychological forces at work beneath the surface of modern gay hookups and offers a deeper understanding of how these platforms shape our experiences of attraction, belonging, and intimacy.

Connect with boy meets therapy:

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Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Why do some of us spend so much of our lives longing for what they don't have?

In this episode, we explore the psychology of longing. From relationships and belonging to future possibilities and unlived experiences, longing is one of the most common yet least discussed parts of being human. Drawing from psychology, neuroscience, and LGBTQ development, this episode examines why longing exists, why it can become so powerful, and why many gay men may become especially familiar with it.

Topics include daydreaming, anticipation, attachment, imagination, and the emotional pull of what we don't yet have.

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Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Work with Me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Many gay men do not simply grieve relationships, opportunities, or experiences. Sometimes we grieve entire developmental pathways: The city you never moved to. The relationship that almost happened. The friend group you thought you would find. The version of yourself that might have emerged if you had come out sooner.

Drawing on research in counterfactual thinking, narrative identity, ambiguous loss, and queer development, this episode explores why certain possibilities stay with us long after they have passed and why this experience may carry particular weight for many gay men.

What if the question is not whether we chose the right path, but what those unrealized paths can teach us about who we are and what we still value?

and PS.... happy pride!

Connect with boy meets therapy:

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Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Work with Me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver