A few years ago, Silvia asked me a simple question: "Why do you choose to fight?" At the time, I answered it straight from the peak of my competitive career. I still believe everything I said then... but a lot has changed since.

Now, I hear my own words differently. This episode isn’t a revision of that original answer. It’s just an honest look at the layers underneath with things I couldn't see while I was still in the thick of it.

In this episode, I look at the motivations that stacked up over my years of competing: from needing to prove something early on, to the quieter shift of wanting to owe it to my future self, to realizing how much I subconsciously relied on the fight life to give me structure, community, and an identity.

Whether you are currently fighting and dealing with what the ring exposes, or you're going through the slow, uncomfortable process of transitioning out of an environment that structured who you are, I hope this gives some language to it.

Original reply to Silvia: https://youtu.be/-n4qv0n2ubQ

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Intro/Outro music by Maki of the Moon