Have you got a saucy story to tell from your time on the High-Seas? Leave us a voicemail and we might never get back to you...

WE'RE BACK, BABES! After a two-year hiatus (and a mysterious $1.24 PayPal payment), Titty Kaka and Miss Georgie Porgie are rebooting Up The Aft, and the wheels are well and truly greased.

Georgie's recovering from a Wendy's-chilli-induced coma, Titty is house-sitting (and pussy-sitting) in New York, and nobody can agree on what a dandelion is. We say hello to our brand-new segment, Passport Control, and find out how Titty ended up legally classified as a woman by the Bahamas.

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Have you got a saucy story to tell from your time on the High-Seas? Leave us a voicemail and we might never get back to you...

Miss Georgie is back in the UK so these two salty showgirls couldn't be further apart. There's a new artisan cafe open on the Isle of Wight and Georgie is obsessed. Titty can't stand tuna on a Jacket Potato... what would be your topping Diane?

An event over the weekend in Glasgow has swept the globe and the girls simply HAD to come back out the woodwork to talk about it! Miss Georgie brings some erotic updates from National Geographic and Titty gives her best advice about getting out of a sticky situation!