Talking about sex shouldn’t feel like a performance review you didn’t prepare for — and yet, for so many women, it does. In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil gets publicly uncomfortable (on purpose) to talk about what we’re really craving when it comes to sex — not hotter, not louder, not more performative… but healthier. Joined by internationally renowned human sexuality professor and author Dr. Nicole McNichols, this conversation cuts through cultural noise, outdated scripts, and unrealistic expectations around women’s desire. Together, they unpack why exhaustion, mental overload, hormonal shifts, and decades of conditioning disconnect women from their bodies — and how to rebuild a sex life rooted in honesty, agency, and pleasure. This episode isn’t about doing more or trying harder. It’s about unlearning shame, understanding your body, honoring your evolving needs, and creating a roadmap for sex that works for you — at every stage of life. What We Cover: Why “hotter sex” is the wrong goal — and what healthier sex actually looks like The mental load, exhaustion, and emotional labor killing desire (and what to do about it) Dr. McNichols’ Hierarchy of Sexual Needs and why pleasure starts internally Getting out of your head and back into your body (hello, sexual mindfulness) Mismatched libidos, desire discrepancies, and how to stop making them mean something’s wrong When curiosity, communication, and consent unlock deeper connection Healthy sex isn’t about performance, frequency, or checking boxes — it’s about presence, permission, and pleasure that evolves with you. When women reclaim agency over their bodies and desires, connection deepens, shame loosens its grip, and intimacy becomes something we get to experience — not something we’re expected to perform. Thank you to our sponsors! Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/bg2602-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass. Connect with Dr. Nicole McNichols: Book: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/You-Could-Be-Having-Better-Sex/Nicole-McNichols/9781668053775 IG: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_thesexprofessor/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nicole_thesexprofessor Related Podcast Episodes: Access, Agency & The Abortion Underground with Rebecca Grant | 358 051 / Connecting To Your Sexuality with Aylen Doucette How To Listen When Your Parts Speak (IFS Therapy + Ancestral Wisdom) with Tamala Floyd | 376 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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10 Min.