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Praise be, Joseph Smith, for the LDS approved Napoleon Dynamite. Mouth agape. Plastic boondoggles in hand. And let’s learn some hip hop dancing. Yes, it’s time to discover rural schools in Idaho with these weirdos. Bow to your sensei, then there’ll be some tetherball, action figures being hate-crimed, Aspergers, racist principals, Susan Dell serving Annabelle realness, Mac’s mom, quesa dillaz, “Your mom goes to college,” Johnson County women in the round-a-bout, ASL Amy Grant, the banging wagon, pay-per-minute AOL, a cake for Caroline Leavitt, portraits from hell, gagging on hard boiled eggs, Big League Chew, a time machine dildo, FFA milk, La Fawnda, a drag king, cargo tots, herbal tits, a Stephen Miller pinata, the dreaded STUCO election skit, Jamiroquai again, eat your ham and your wildest dreams coming true.

Exit ticket: Ronnie found someone who needs advice on Reddit. They have a weird kid in their rural school with two administrators who won’t do anything about him. He’s like Napoleon but an asshole who is heavily leaning into being an incel. Good thing Ronnie has experience having a January 6th apologist in class once.

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Whoa what a film! If you’re into teachers getting revenge on pain in the ass students, and we know you are, then have we got an episode for you. Alice Cooper sings the theme song of the movie, setting the mood. In addition to that, there’s Marty McNuggets, Chekov’s gun, The Fucklty Parking Lot," teachers who should be fired but aren’t, a busty clarinet, Roddy McDowall, Nazis, Grease 2’s “Reproduction,” grammatically challenged graffiti corrected with red spray paint, developing Polaroids in your snatch, Christmas sex workers in Florida, PCP not cocaine, roasted rabbit, a preppy kid in Danny Zuko drag, fingerprints, a kid getting shivved, Mr. Holland’s Anus, classroom engagement at gun point, a band leader / hostage de-escalation expert, an English teacher just trying to teach “The Most Dangerous Game,” a strip club playing Enya, the Offred line at Sears, and death by table saws, gasoline, car, getting crushed and falling through the ceiling at an orchestra concert.

Exit ticket: There’s an exodus of teachers from a suburban school district in Ohio last school year because they were sick of being assaulted by students and admin took no action. How did the district respond to this nightmare? As Dorinda Medley would say, “Not well, bitch.”

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Welcome back from the Holidays, teachers and others. To kick off the second semester of school and the back half of the winter trimester, Ronnie and Justin are gonna cut loose. Footloose. Kick off the Sunday shoes and get into small town small school district politics. Get ready for a city council meeting as well as the matinee at the Fox Theater in East Hills Mall, Ronnie’s parents church they started, foot fetishes, the rusty trombone, Ariel and Woody getting into some Disney crossovers, Kurt Vonnegut showing up in a second episode, a very loud boombox, masturbation and making Ginger pop, Ariel’s need for advanced mental health care, the male gymnastic’s team, Ariel sitting on a dick and Doris peacing out, Rebel without a Tractor, the abandoned factory dance caught on camera, arcade game bans, 80s evangelical churches, Chuck the statutory rapist and girlfriend abuser, narcissist preachers, butts in showers, musical trauma, Ren and Stimpy, music, drugs, and fornication. Don’t threaten me with a good time.

Exit ticket: The demise of Ryan Walters is delicious. He created Footloose in the entire State of Oklahoma, and the hosts have ideas on how karma can continue to come for him. Death by kitty litter and a cemetery performance of Footloose are mentioned.

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Ronnie picked the worst movie in the three years they’ve been doing the show and has little remorse. Both hosts are pleased that Rodney Dangerfield is no longer with us. Well, they discover what being a re-entry student who has untapped wealth would do to a college campus which includes Sam Kinnison screaming, fat phobia, DXL shopping, Melon Patch Kids, Adrian Barbeau’s tits, handing towels to men in Speedos, clit paintings, a meatball and deviled eggs sandwich that would make Ronnie’s husband hurl, Lou the live-in companion, Robert Downey Jr’s hair, college lawn frisbee, Cobra Kai, building codes being violated in dorms, Jim and Tammy Baker, jumping off the high dive, women fawning all over a 65 year old man with bug eyes, dating your English professor, a Business teacher’s beard, Edie McClurg’s back from Carrie, Oingo Boingo, Jason’s inconsistency with his father, the audition room from Flashdance, the return of the Dylan Dylan contest, the Triple Lindsay Buckingham, and a graduation speech freeze frame that was the only funny part of the entire movie.

Exit ticket: Justin has some stats on what motivates re-entry students to return to college. And it’s not just to mess up the curve on tests.

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Oof. These idiots really can’t do college, but what do you expect? Certainly not a poorly handled sexual assault storyline followed by one about the preferential treatment of college athletes and a student sleeping with a professor. Well, Ronnie and Justin got all that and Labor Day weekend snow, Brenda’s resting bitch face, the winds of horniness, the (sort of) return of Emily Valentine, Hell Week repercussions, 30 year old frat boys, the introduction of putting “in bed” to the end of a fortune cookie into television history, the Chaka Khan winds of Africa, Donna roofies herself, finally a person of color as a recurring character on the show, a white rose with a 3 foot long stem, Lucinda, a stolen purse, date rape pies, David in his underwear, a racist R.A., blackmailing your Sociology professor, flunking Romantic Poetry class, committing liable live on stage, Rashamon 90210-style, a woman who died of AIDS, staring down Laura, lying about SA, and the real reason behind a take home test.

Exit ticket: Justin is put to the test again with “Which of the following happened to these idiots during their college years?” Dylan gets married and his wife gets executed? An understudy tries to kill Brenda? Tiffany Amber Theison’s Valerie sleeps with the entire cast? Tune in and see how he did.

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They landed an actual university dean to help them sort out this week’s episode, Dr. Elise Hepworth. Listeners may know her better as the person Ronnie co-directed two high school musicals with tales previously shared in other episodes. Well this time they're looking at the college experience through the lens of admin and the spot on yet bonkers interpretation of Sandra Oh and Jay Duplass in The Chair. It’s time to secretly record your professor and see what happens. There’s also a rating of college campuses, getting drunk at the airport, professors in their 80s, ghosts of dead poinsettias, Joan being a great wing-man, riding in cars with students, not checked what’s on your screen before plugging it in for the class to see, the joy of Canvas LMS,PBIS Crypto, being asked to smoke a joint with the principal, Daisy Dukes in winter, Ronnie’s C in American Humor, Title VI not IX, the name “Dafna,” what the hell is a distinguished lectureship, rewarding kids for bad behavior, why getting drunk at faculty events is a bad idea, student protests, and Rufus Wainwright.

Exit ticket: This summer a Texas A&M student secretly recorded a professor, and there was zero fallout from it. Just kidding, it frightened college professors across the country. The panel has thoughts.

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Mmm. Denzel. He’s not shirtless in this one but still fine. Can a movie about debate be compelling? It’s one of Justin’s favorite movies of all time so it looks like it. And along the way there’s trips up Interstate 29 looking for an alternate reality, The Color Purple and literacy, juke joints, Jussie Smolett, a teacher on top of a desk quoting literature again, a white professor teaching African-American Lit, the backroom of Daddy’s, being an alternate, roaming farm animals, dirty dancing, high schoolers in college, union busting, Pam Bondi again, booking a school bus vs driving, Sue Sylvester, Texas ICE agents, [gasp] communism in New York City, the stabbin’ cabin and a marching band, MAGA roadblocks, a sex worker on a school trip, “they didn’t really film at Harvard,” using true stories to win a debate, and why debates shouldn’t be the climax of a movie.

Exit ticket: Ronnie and Justin of a debate over what else? The best Real Housewives franchise of all time. It ended their friendship.

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Break out the giant pink bubbles and blue flying monkeys, they’re back for a third school year. And as Justin learned to say this summer, “Fasten your seatbelts, there are gonna be some bumps in the road” (Look up Summer Schooled ‘25, people, if you missed it). They’re kicking off the season with a block of five movies set in college. Two best friends meet during a fascist take-over of a society. What could be more timely? Well how about roofied housewives, teachers who only teach one class when they find a student worthy of them, Pam Bondi, gays shouldn’t be seen or heard, ICE rounding up Animals, Fiyero’s ass, Ronnie’s sexual confusion at a New Orleans strip club, the library of death and doom, the viral Bok song, a weird music-less dance, opium, a wet dream on a train, Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel’s shocking face lifts, citizens having to sit through a daily history lesson, a fascist remodeling everything, a giant cape that just happened to be lying around as they do, and flying into the East that is always a bit more liberal.

Exit ticket: What are the 10 types of college roommates one can have and which are the worst? The Partier or The Mooch. The One with a Significant Other or The One with a Significant Other from High School? You decide.

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