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Praise be, Joseph Smith, for the LDS approved Napoleon Dynamite. Mouth agape. Plastic boondoggles in hand. And let’s learn some hip hop dancing. Yes, it’s time to discover rural schools in Idaho with these weirdos. Bow to your sensei, then there’ll be some tetherball, action figures being hate-crimed, Aspergers, racist principals, Susan Dell serving Annabelle realness, Mac’s mom, quesa dillaz, “Your mom goes to college,” Johnson County women in the round-a-bout, ASL Amy Grant, the banging wagon, pay-per-minute AOL, a cake for Caroline Leavitt, portraits from hell, gagging on hard boiled eggs, Big League Chew, a time machine dildo, FFA milk, La Fawnda, a drag king, cargo tots, herbal tits, a Stephen Miller pinata, the dreaded STUCO election skit, Jamiroquai again, eat your ham and your wildest dreams coming true.

Exit ticket: Ronnie found someone who needs advice on Reddit. They have a weird kid in their rural school with two administrators who won’t do anything about him. He’s like Napoleon but an asshole who is heavily leaning into being an incel. Good thing Ronnie has experience having a January 6th apologist in class once.

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Whoa what a film! If you’re into teachers getting revenge on pain in the ass students, and we know you are, then have we got an episode for you. Alice Cooper sings the theme song of the movie, setting the mood. In addition to that, there’s Marty McNuggets, Chekov’s gun, The Fucklty Parking Lot," teachers who should be fired but aren’t, a busty clarinet, Roddy McDowall, Nazis, Grease 2’s “Reproduction,” grammatically challenged graffiti corrected with red spray paint, developing Polaroids in your snatch, Christmas sex workers in Florida, PCP not cocaine, roasted rabbit, a preppy kid in Danny Zuko drag, fingerprints, a kid getting shivved, Mr. Holland’s Anus, classroom engagement at gun point, a band leader / hostage de-escalation expert, an English teacher just trying to teach “The Most Dangerous Game,” a strip club playing Enya, the Offred line at Sears, and death by table saws, gasoline, car, getting crushed and falling through the ceiling at an orchestra concert.

Exit ticket: There’s an exodus of teachers from a suburban school district in Ohio last school year because they were sick of being assaulted by students and admin took no action. How did the district respond to this nightmare? As Dorinda Medley would say, “Not well, bitch.”

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Welcome back from the Holidays, teachers and others. To kick off the second semester of school and the back half of the winter trimester, Ronnie and Justin are gonna cut loose. Footloose. Kick off the Sunday shoes and get into small town small school district politics. Get ready for a city council meeting as well as the matinee at the Fox Theater in East Hills Mall, Ronnie’s parents church they started, foot fetishes, the rusty trombone, Ariel and Woody getting into some Disney crossovers, Kurt Vonnegut showing up in a second episode, a very loud boombox, masturbation and making Ginger pop, Ariel’s need for advanced mental health care, the male gymnastic’s team, Ariel sitting on a dick and Doris peacing out, Rebel without a Tractor, the abandoned factory dance caught on camera, arcade game bans, 80s evangelical churches, Chuck the statutory rapist and girlfriend abuser, narcissist preachers, butts in showers, musical trauma, Ren and Stimpy, music, drugs, and fornication. Don’t threaten me with a good time.

Exit ticket: The demise of Ryan Walters is delicious. He created Footloose in the entire State of Oklahoma, and the hosts have ideas on how karma can continue to come for him. Death by kitty litter and a cemetery performance of Footloose are mentioned.

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