Hey, Pachuco! We’re closing out season 28 with 1994’s The Mask. It holds up, just don’t watch the Jamie Kennedy one, which we covered ages ago as a regular episode. Now, like Napoleon, we’ll divide and conquer!

SOMEBODY STOP US!!!

Empathetic everyman from Edge City empowered and ensconced with egregious energy, enhancing every interaction, eccentrically enamoured with evil entrepreneur’s enchantress, escaping and evading enforcers, earning eminence through his enthralling expressions! Entity of expression encased in emerald! Dumpy industrial looking Detroit place! Cameron Diaz ink blotting her totters! Beetlejuice Broadway handjobs? Shrinkwrapped Adam Corolla, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we get into 1994’s The Cowboy way, where the toughest guy they could find for the antagonist was Dylan McDermott. Don’t worry, though, because one of the good True Detectives and Jack Bauer are on the case, and they’re … kinda pissed?

Let’s round ‘em up!

Perturbed Pepper, portrayed by perennially pompous patsy, patrols the polis with police and peckish partner per poncho’s prepared plea, pressing past punishing parasitic profiteer, pragmatically pushing pedestrians, playfully popping provokers with pepper grinding pelvic pulsing! Kevin Costner’s narrow, bitch-man face! Potato parfait! Captain America cutting boards! New batch of humanly trafficked! Puckering up to Sonny’s shit ass! Where was Papa Nacho?! Hats full of assholes! Shady Schwimmer gooning in the Big Apple! Sonny has no money! Short pants and stick horses! A calf sucking a man’s dick, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we take a bite out of 1994’s Tammy and the T-Rex, Paul Walker’s finest hour. This one’s confusing, but never not amusing. So grab your buddies balls with a firm grip, and let’s get right to it!

REEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Rambunctious Rex gets randy with really ‘rousing Richards, rightfully ravages reprehensible rabble rousers, ruminates on reality, rampages and riots without raping, and reacts realistically to radical research while roaming romantically! Tammy wants the gablow gabloo! A whole bunch of fiery fucking felines! Muscle man ugly girl comparison? Caveman Ken! Eating Billy’s fuck buddy! Drunkcle Bob’s barn! Bib boobied Helga! Bad credit name Tit Scope ™! Inconsistent mauling! Fresh vat water for cranial cummies, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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