Episode 13: The Days That Bring You to Your Knees

In this episode, we talk about shock, sudden loss, grief waves, and the ways grief can show up unexpectedly in the body.

Gentle note for listeners:
Some of what’s shared here may feel activating or tender. You’re invited to listen at your own pace. Pausing, stepping away, skipping sections, or coming back another day is always okay. You don’t need to push through anything here. Your body gets to lead.

This episode explores:

• What shock actually feels like after loss
• Why grief doesn’t come all at once—and why waves are normal
• How triggers can show up suddenly and physically
• Why being “brought to your knees” isn’t failure, but a human response to love and loss
• Reframing strength when this life wasn’t chosen

If you’re in the early days of grief—or finding yourself knocked down by moments you didn’t see coming—I created Through The Fog, a 6-week self-guided program designed to offer steadiness and support when everything feels disorienting and heavy. There’s no rush and no expectation of progress—just a reminder that you don’t have to do this alone.
Available the last week of January.

Thank you for being here. I’m really glad you found your way to this space.

Explore my website for offerings like 1:1 and group grief support, and a glimpse into Through The Fog. Www.laurenlentz.com

Follow me on Instagram for more resources, insights, and community support at @imsorrywerefriends

Episode 12: New Year’s Resolutions — When You’re Just Trying to Survive

When “fresh starts” miss the mark in grief

January often arrives with pressure — to improve, reset, optimize, and become a “better” version of yourself. But when you’re grieving, that language can feel disconnected, overwhelming, or even cruel.

In this episode, I share why traditional New Year’s resolutions often don’t fit when you’re in survival mode — and why that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Drawing from my own first New Year after losing Kevin, we explore how grief narrows capacity, shifts priorities, and asks something very different of us than transformation or self-improvement.

This episode is for you if:

• You’re moving into the New Year feeling heavy instead of hopeful
• Resolutions feel impossible or out of sync right now
• You’re tired of being asked to “push through”
• You’re just trying to survive — day by day, moment by moment

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why resolution culture doesn’t align with grief
• How survival is not failure — it’s the work
• Why healing doesn’t come through restriction or discipline
• Letting go of “new year, new you” pressure
• Choosing gentler intentions, boundaries, and permissions
• Meeting yourself exactly where you are

You don’t need to become someone new.
You don’t need to make big promises.
And you don’t need to take anything away from yourself to prove you’re healing.

If all you can do right now is survive — that is more than enough.

Connect with Me

You can find me on Instagram at @imsorrywerefriends
or learn more about my work at www.laurenlentz.com

If this episode resonated, I’d love it if you shared it with someone who may need permission to move slowly this season.

Episode 11: Anticipating the New Year — A Year Without You In It

The days between Christmas and New Year’s can feel strangely heavy—quiet, suspended, and emotionally charged. In this episode, Lauren speaks to the often unspoken fear that surfaces as the calendar prepares to turn: How do I step into a year that doesn’t include someone essential?

Drawing from her own experience on New Year’s Eve 2019, Lauren explores the grief that can arise in this liminal stretch of time—the tension between wanting time to move forward and wanting it to stop entirely. This episode is a gentle companion for anyone who feels unready, resistant, or overwhelmed by the idea of a “new beginning” after loss.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why the New Year can feel especially painful and alienating when you’re grieving
• The quiet fear of leaving behind the last year your person was part of
• How cultural pressure around optimism and resolutions can clash with grief
• Letting go of the idea of a “good year” and embracing softer language—a survivable year, a steadier year
• Ways love continues, even as loss changes form
• Simple, supportive ways to care for yourself during this transition
• Naming the contradictions of grief—holding joy and sorrow at the same time
• A gentle question to help you enter the New Year with more support and less pressure

This episode is not about fixing grief, rushing healing, or forcing hope. It’s about honoring where you actually are—and allowing yourself to cross into the New Year in a way that feels honest, protective, and humane.

✨ You don’t have to want the year.
You don’t have to be ready.
You just have to enter it—one step at a time.

🎧 Next episode: New Year’s Resolutions — Just Trying to Survive
We’ll talk about what it really means to approach a new year while grieving, and how to set intentions that honor your reality—not the version of you the world expects.

Thank you for being here.

To work with Lauren:
Lauren offers grief coaching for widows navigating life after loss, including 1:1 support and group programs. You can learn more at www.laurenlentz.com

To connect with Lauren:
Connect with Lauren on Instagram at @imsorrywerefriends for ongoing support, reflections, and community.

Episode 10 Show Notes: A Different Kind of Christmas — Grief, Gifts, and Your Limits

In this episode, I share my first Christmas without Kevin — the “firsts,” the heartbreak, and the unexpected lessons about grief, love, and what we can actually hold during the holidays. We explore:

• How grief shifts meaning, making traditions and gifts feel heavy, distant, or empty.
• Why gifts can feel insignificant — and why that clarity isn’t failure.
• The idea of lowering the Christmas bar to protect your energy and honor your reality.
• Gentle ways to stay connected — to yourself, your memories, and others — without overextending.
• How quiet, tender, and even messy moments matter because they meet you where you actually are.

Resources & Ways to Work With Me

If you want support navigating grief this season or beyond, here are some ways we can work together:

• 1:1 Grief Coaching – Tailored support for widows navigating the early stages or ongoing grief. Find out more: [1:1 Grief Support]
• Re-Imagine – A 12-week group program for widows ready to explore life after loss in depth (next session, March 2026). Learn more here: [Re-Imagine Group Grief Support]

You can also connect with me on social media:

• Instagram: [@imsorrywerefriends]

If this episode resonated with you, I’d be so grateful if you shared it with someone who might need it. And don’t miss Episode 11: Anticipating the New Year — A Year Without You in It, where we explore stepping into a new year when the person you love isn’t coming with you.

The holidays after loss can feel deeply confusing. You may want the cards, the invites, and the connection—and simultaneously feel unable to open an envelope or show up to a gathering. This internal push-and-pull is not a failure or a contradiction. It’s grief.

In this episode, Lauren explores the griever’s holiday paradox—the tension between wanting to be seen and wanting to disappear—and how this experience can unintentionally create distance between grievers and their support systems.

Lauren is joined by Rio Richards, Grief and Trauma Therapist and Coach, whose grounded wisdom and unexpected humor bring warmth to one of the most tender seasons of the year. Together, they unpack what’s happening beneath the surface for both grievers and supporters, and how to navigate the holidays with more clarity, compassion, and care.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why the holidays often intensify a griever’s desire to both connect and withdraw
• How emotional capacity and the nervous system shape holiday experiences
• Why friends and family sometimes hesitate to reach out—and what’s really driving that silence
• The “double-withdrawal” dynamic that can leave both grievers and supporters feeling alone
• Common misconceptions that lead people to avoid inviting or including a grieving person
• Gentle, compassionate ways grievers can communicate their needs without guilt
• How supporters can show up with confidence—even when they’re afraid of “saying the wrong thing”

This conversation is for widows and all grievers, and for the people who love them—those who want to show up, but aren’t always sure how.

A reminder from this episode:

You can want the invitation and still say no.
You can need space and still long to be remembered.
And supporters don’t need to be perfect to be meaningful—presence matters more than precision.

If this episode resonated, consider sharing it with someone who might need the reminder that they are not alone in this season—and that tenderness, presence, and self-compassion are still possible.

Be gentle with yourself.
Be patient with your heart.
And remember—you don’t have to navigate this alone.

Guest Spotlight: Rio Richards

Rio Richards is a Grief and Trauma Therapist and Coach who supports individuals navigating loss with honesty, humor, and deep compassion. As both a clinician and a griever herself, Rio brings a wide-angle lens to the complexities of grief—especially during the holidays.

Rio's Grief Support Menu

📍 Find Rio on Instagram: @andthatsgrief

If you're curious about Rio's work and are interested in joining her January grief portal, you can find more information HERE.

In this episode, we’re naming the emotions many widows feel during the holidays but rarely say out loud.
Jealousy. Guilt. Anger. Longing. Mixed emotions that feel contradictory and confusing.
And the shame that often follows.

I also answer listener questions submitted this week—questions so many of you are wrestling with as the season approaches.

If the holidays bring up complicated emotions for you, you’re not alone and you're not doing anything wrong. This episode will meet you right where you are.

What We Talk About in This Episode

• Why the holidays amplify heavy emotions in grief

A look at how cultural pressure to “be joyful” clashes with the reality of living in the after.

• Why jealousy and envy show up (and what they’re really pointing to)

Spoiler: It’s not about wanting someone else’s life. It’s about missing your own before-loss life.

• The guilt of not feeling festive

How guilt is tied to expectations—not failure—and why your nervous system is actually protecting you.

• Anger, frustration, and emotional sensitivity

Understanding anger as a secondary emotion and what it’s trying to tell you.

• Regret, longing, and navigating traditions that feel impossible this year

Why familiar rituals can intensify grief, and how to give yourself permission to pause, shift, or create new ones.

• Mixed emotions: joy + sadness existing together

How to honor the duality of grief without questioning your love or loyalty to your person.

Key Takeaways

• Every emotion you feel is valid. None of it makes you ungrateful or unloving.
• Duality is normal in grief. You can feel joy and heartbreak in the same breath.
• Awareness is calming. Naming an emotion helps regulate your nervous system.
• Your reactions are biological, not personal failures.
• Presence matters more than perfection. You don’t have to force holiday spirit.

Quotes From the Episode

Connect With Me

If this episode resonated with you, I would love to stay connected.
You don’t have to navigate grief alone.

• Instagram: @imsorrywerefriends
Where I share grief support, tools, and real conversations about widowhood.

• Website: laurenlentz.com
Learn more about my 1:1 coaching, group program Re-Imagine, and upcoming retreats.

• Work With Me:
If you’re ready for deeper support—whether through private coaching or group connection—you can explore current openings and offerings on my website.

I’m here walking this with you. Always.

Short, gentle guidance for a season that can feel overwhelming.

Episode Summary

The holidays can bring a complicated mix of emotions. In this episode, we explore five compassionate, doable ways to care for yourself through a season that often feels heavy and demanding.

This episode is intentionally simple and grounding. No pressure. No perfection. Just tools to help you meet yourself gently, wherever you are in your grief.

1. Why Self-Support Matters During the Holidays

• The “oxygen mask first” metaphor and what it really means in grief.
• How tending to your own needs preserves your emotional capacity.
• Simple examples of self-care that don’t require energy you don’t have.

1. Set Boundaries

• How to get clear about what you can and can’t engage with.
• Plan A, B, and C as a gauge for your physical, emotional, and mental energy.
• Small, doable boundary examples you can use in real time.

2. Plan Mini Rituals for Comfort

• Why small, intentional acts can create moments of calm.
• Examples of rituals that honor your person and create space for love and memory.
• How rituals help grief and love coexist.

3. Ground Yourself in the Present

• Gentle mindfulness practices that don’t dismiss grief.
• Sensory moments (warm mug, candle, music, scent) that help interrupt overwhelm.
• Why grounding helps you reset and reconnect with yourself.

4. Keep Expectations Realistic

• Releasing the pressure for the holidays to look like they “used to.”
• Allowing joy to be small or infrequent—and allowing yourself not to feel festive at all.
• How realistic expectations reduce emotional strain.

5. Reach Out and Connect

• Finding the middle ground between total isolation and forced socializing.
• The power of brief, simple interactions with people who truly understand grief.
• Why connection doesn’t have to be big to be meaningful.

Use these to check in with yourself throughout the season:

• Which of the five practices feels most supportive for me this week?
• How can I honor my needs while engaging only in the moments that feel right?
• Is there a gentle reminder I can give myself when I start to feel overwhelmed?

Reflection doesn’t have to be formal—quiet thoughts, a note in your phone, or a few sentences in a journal all count.

If this episode supported you, I’d love to hear which practice resonated most.
You can connect with me on Instagram at @imsorrywerefriends or join my email community (www.laurenlentz.com) for grief support, tools, and upcoming offerings.

Episode 8: When the Holidays Bring Out Jealousy, Guilt, and Other Heavy Feelings
We’ll explore why these emotions arise and how to navigate them with compassion and honesty.

Today’s episode arrives on Thanksgiving — a day that can hold deep tenderness for anyone grieving the loss of a loved one. While others gather around the table in gratitude and celebration, you may be feeling the weight of who isn’t there. The empty seat — both literal and symbolic — can stir a mix of emotions: love, longing, sadness, and deep remembrance.

In this episode, we pause together to breathe, to anchor into presence, and to name what grief may be bringing up for you on a day like today. Lauren shares her own story of the first Thanksgiving after losing her husband, Kevin, and reflects on how holidays can hold both love and pain in the same breath.

You’ll also hear gentle, practical ways to carry your person’s memory into this day — from lighting a candle or sharing a story, to simply noticing the quiet ways they’re still with you. These small gestures remind us that grief and love coexist — always.

Whether you’re spending the day surrounded by others or in the quiet company of your own heart, may this episode remind you that you’re not alone, that your grief is sacred, and that love continues to live through you.

In this episode, we explore:
A grounding practice to help you anchor into the present moment
The physical, emotional, and spiritual ways grief might show up during the holidays
Simple, meaningful opportunities to honor your loved one through small rituals or acts of remembrance
Permission to do the day in whatever way feels right for you

Favorite Quote:

If today feels heavy, know this: You don’t have to do it all. Even one small act — lighting a candle, telling a story, or simply breathing — is enough to honor the love that still lives within you.

Resources & Links:
Connect with Lauren through social media: @imsorrywerefriends
Join the Re-Imagine spring waitlist or learn about 1:1 grief coaching: www.laurenlentz.com