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Hyper-vigilance is common in pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period — but rarely named. In this episode, we explore what hyper-vigilance really is, why so many women experience it, and how it impacts mothers, partners, and babies.

We talk about nervous system safety, surveillance culture in maternity care, why reassurance often doesn’t help, and what truly supports healing — without pathologising women or telling them to 'just relax'.

This episode is for:

• Pregnant women who feel unable to switch off
• Women reflecting on births that looked fine but felt exhausting
• Mothers who can’t rest even when their baby sleeps
• Partners who want to support without fixing

In this episode we cover:

• What hyper-vigilance actually is (and what it isn’t)
• How pregnancy culture trains women to stay on alert
• The impact of hyper-vigilance on labour and oxytocin
• Why surrender in birth is a nervous system state, not a mindset
• Postpartum hyper-vigilance and sleep
• The effect on partners and relationships
• What genuinely helps nervous systems soften and repair
• Why this work matters before labour begins

Aimee and Tom's story - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-ultimate-guide-to-being-a-birth-partner/id1541228817?i=1000536622734

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...

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This episode is a little different!

I decided to answer a batch of listener questions that were shorter than the single-question episodes, and they fit perfectly with what’s coming up in the coming weeks.

As I went through them, I noticed quite a few shared a common theme, and it reminded me just how important it is to dedicate some episodes specifically to postpartum experiences, because there is so much to unpack in those first days, weeks and months.

I hope you enjoy this Q&A — it’s honest, practical, and grounded in real experiences from real listeners.

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...

Send us a text

In this episode, I’m joined by Fenja, who shares her freebirth story with honesty, depth, and clarity.

At a time when freebirth is being widely discussed — and often misunderstood — Fenja’s experience offers a grounded and much-needed perspective on what informed, conscious birth preparation can look like.

Fenja speaks openly about the extensive work she did during pregnancy: building physiological understanding, engaging in emotional and mental preparation, and developing a deep trust in her body and decision-making. Her choices were not made lightly. They were rooted in knowledge, reflection, and personal responsibility.

During her pregnancy, Fenja chose to hire a doula — not as someone to direct her birth, but as optional, woman-led support. When labour unfolded, she recognised that what she needed most was solitude and privacy, and she chose not to call her doula to the birth. This decision was hers alone, made in the moment, based on what felt right in her body and nervous system.

With recent media coverage and coroner’s reports attempting to suggest that doulas are influencing women to make unsafe decisions, Fenja’s story provides an important counterpoint. It clearly demonstrates that women are capable of making informed, autonomous decisions about their own births, and that doulas do not make decisions for women — they support them, when and if that support is wanted.

This episode is not about persuading anyone to freebirth.
It is about respecting women’s capacity to prepare deeply, think critically, and choose consciously.

Fenja’s story is thoughtful, grounded, and a deep reminder that birth choices cannot be reduced to headlines or assumptions.

You can find Fenja and her work at helikraft.co.uk

On Instagram @heilkraftosteopathy

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...