Life often never goes as we planned. Many of us had dreams as kids of what we wanted to be when we grew up. Most of us change those many times before we become adults. No one’s life goes according to their first initial plan.

Why is this? Because we all make adjustments as we grow. We learn about ourselves and we mature in our values. Adjusting to life is part of living life well. We adjust to things like jobs and relationships. Having confidence doesn’t mean we get everything right. It means we have an attitude of adjustment.

On today’s show, we talk through 3 key ways to ensure adjusting is part of building a confident life.

Pick a Direction

- You can’t adjust your direction if you have no direction.

- Why are you here? What does a great life look like in a normal week?

- A lot of guys never answer that question.

- Survival mode is the path of least resistance.

- You can only behave beyond your current standard when you look beyond your current reality.

- Picking a direction is part of living a confident life

- When you don’t pick a direction, you’ll wander from fad to fad.

- Not choosing is a choice. When you don’t pick your direction it is picked for you (listening to music, watching streaming vs TV channels)

- When we don’t pick, we are giving control of our lives to others

- Key Idea: Choices aren’t permanent- they’re tests for feedback

Set Up Boundaries

- Gardens flourish within the right conditions, grass looks lush and green when taken care of

- Too often we don’t work on the boundaries of our lives so we can’t flourish

- Boundaries Focus our Work and Energy

- Boundaries Make Decisions Easier

- It is deciding before you have to make the decision.

- Boundaries Protect Us, even from ourselves

- The simplicity of the concept of boundaries doesn’t mean they are easy

Make Micro Adjustments

- Making adjustments is a good part of living our lives

- Flights adjust constantly as they travel to get to their destination

- We do the same thing as we figure out what works in our life

- We prototype things and then drop it or adjust it

- Don’t always adjust everything- have a planning, executing, and evaluating rhythm.

- These are all micro adjustments and they are a part of life

- You won’t be perfect and shouldn’t expect to be, but if you don’t try you won’t know

CHALLENGE

- Quit waiting for Perfection to pick a direction

- What are the core 4 to 5 things you value most in life?

- What doesn’t a lifestyle that supports those things look like on an average day?

- What does the schedule look like in an average week?

- Where do you live and who are you with?

- Boundaries

- What boundaries do you need to start living that way today?

- Read Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend

- Go to www.boundaries.me

- Embrace adjustments and look for ways to improve

- Make a plan/prototype.

- Set a start and end date.

- At the end date ask yourself:

- What worked well?

- What made it difficult?

- What did I learn about myself in the process?

- How can I adjust to fit the future I desire? (could even mean stopping something)

- Understand that change isn’t always better

- You don’t have to constantly be changing everything

- Sometimes maintaining what you’re doing is best.

- Be wise in your adjustments. Be selective. Only work on 1-3 areas at a time. NO MORE THAN 3. Preferably 2 or less.

- Sometimes the best adjustment is to stick to the original plan and focus on it

Watch and Enjoy!

David & Reese Maxwell...

Being the main character of your own life and building confidence only happens when you have focus. Our focus on the why behind our lives really does matter. Too often we are so busy living life that we never think about why.

We call this survivor mode. A way of life for too many of us

We have to start living with purpose in the face of the busyness of life

Busyness is a distraction and deception for too many of us

We want to escape the survivor mode by focusing our lives and we do that by recognizing some key mental traps that we can get caught up in

Trap #1: Activity = Success

- Everyone is busy today

- Busyness isn’t evil

- Busyness isn’t evil, but busyness isn’t necessarily success either

- The problem comes when we allow ourselves to take on the activity = success mindset

Trap #2: Riding vs Driving

- The reality of the “Victim Mentality” and how it has permeated our society today

- Question “Is life moving you are, or are you moving you”

- Many of us act like we are on a roller coaster instead of driving a car

- **Decide Your Destination**

- **Evaluate Your Every Day**

- The calendar is the greatest mirror of what your priorities really are

- “Desires without discipline will only be dreams”

- Use the Word No

- We have to learn to say no to ourselves first

- Men who can’t control their own appetites can’t control their life

- We have to learn to say no to others

- We have to say no to the urgent and unimportant

- This is simple but not easy

Trap #3: The “One Day” Dream

- Our society pushes and showcases the “one-day” dream

- One day will never happen if we aren’t ready for it

- The lottery mentality - dreaming of how you’ll spend the millions but not doing anything to earn money now

- Are you a good steward of what you have now?

CHALLENGE

- Ask yourself, “Why am I so busy”

- Am I choosing what I do or allowing it to be selected for me?

- Do this in the reality of your life.

- Write out everything you are committed to, and how much time that takes each week, and look at that list. Are you setting yourself up for stress and overcommitment?

- You can’t control everything but what CAN you control

- Start with the little daily decisions

- Are you choosing how you live or just surviving in the little things of everyday life?

- The “one-day” mentality comes from feeling overwhelmed with all the stuff life throws at us

- Do you need all the decisions you have to make?

- Start fixing the small areas and you will build up strength for the big areas

Watch and Enjoy!

David & Reese Maxwell

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

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Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

“Action is the currency of a life well lived.”

This truth shows up in our lives every day. We must take action in our lives and not just wish things would change. Without action, there won’t be change and many aspects of life wouldn’t happen. We all must take action if we want to live our lives well.

We are talking on today’s show about building confidence and being the main character of our own lives. To do this, we must make choices and then take action. Choices always precede action and action must follow our choices or we won’t do anything.

This means we must walk in the confidence of making decisions. We can’t live a main character's life if we aren’t willing to make the main character's decisions.

1. A Confident Person Removes the Unnecessary Obstacles

- What are some unnecessary obstacles standing between us and a life of confidence?

- Worry

- The Trivial

- Savior Complex/Perfectionism

- Interesting Distractions

2. A Confident Person Embraces the Important Obstacles

- Choose: Pick the key area you need to grow in the most

- Your growth in one area gives you the strength and belief to tackle other areas

- Move: Be patient, keep moving

- Endure: Expect failures. Don’t take it personally

- Ask: Get coaching and help

CHALLENGE

Courage Starts Now

- Growth is inside out and on the way. It's on the path, not at the end of the path so start moving in a direction

- Avoid Analysis paralysis= walking in mental circles

- Don’t Use Thinking and Planning to Stall Progress

Watch and Enjoy!

David & Reese Maxwell

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

========================

Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

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