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With the untimely closing of the Kennedy Center, our hosts lucked upon an awards show for political cowardice that needed a venue. Never missing an opportunity, our hosts present the Lindsey Graham Profiles in Courage/Cowardice Awards for 2025. What a stunning array of nominees and honorable (sic) mentions. Award season has never been livelier. Steve returned the rented tuxedo he had just in case there were photos. Jeff summoned up the courage/cowardice to ask Kristy Noem for a date. Johnny briefly considers drinking less.

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Johnny - Frank Schettino

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.

#podcast #satire #humor #comedy #awardseason #movies #cowardice #courage #lindseygraham #lutnick #howardlutnick #kennedycenter #tedcruz #gregabbott #rondesantis #trafficking #georgesantos #lies #mikeflood #lisamurkowski #susancollins #jimjordan #tomhoman #mtg #marjorietaylorgreene #techceo #bezos #mikejohnson #chuckschumer #nancymace #rfkjr #robertkennedyjr #curbyourenthusiasm #noem #patel #jdvance

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As attentive to detail as usual, our hosts neglected to plan anything for Valentine's Day. But luckily our intrepid podcast hosts always have ideas--and they did not disappoint! They create holiday buffer zones, if you will, and why not apply them to birthdays and anniversaries? And why not solve world problems with them as well? Happy perpetual Saturday, and welcome to the Claudidian Race! Steve scheduled the show to post one minute later than usual, just to feel unconstrained. Jeff, always feeling unconstrained, nailed toothpicks into his new car's cup holder. Johnny asked for remote broadcasting gear, as if he will be out of the studio for a while.

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Johnny - Alvin Kelly

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra

#podcast #satire #comedy #funny #valentinesday #belatedbirthday #missedholidays #gifts #ICE #icebar #sweden #newcar #smartcar #models #itsalwayssaturday #onerace #jimmybuffett #melania #nokings #nokingsday

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Ever the intrepid journalists, our hosts secured an exclusive interview with Nicolas Maduro, formerly of Venezuela, now residing in New York. While prepping to interview him, our hosts engage in an extended, informative, yet pointless discussion of various odd and extreme things they have run across while searching for something else. From the Carnegie Library to the Holy Roman Empire, you won't want to miss a single gem! Jeff is trying to invent a frictionless ruler. Steve thinks it's quite the coincidence that so many places have a body of water called Salt Creek. Johnny got a box of Venezuelan cigars.

Nicolas Maduro - Jack Griffin

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Johnny - Norman G. Baker

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra

#satire #comedy #maduro #nicolasmaduro #venezuela #exclusive #CBS #seeBS #hell #MAGA #nokings #crap #trumporganization #canada #greenland #grubhub #google #oogle #thepitt #pittsburgh #noahwyle #rabbithole #carnegielibrary #stgermain #littledickenergy #dickmoves #matchbooks #lindburgh #STD #weed #marijuana #denmark #danishpastry #austria #wienerbrod #poland #polish #zoom #triscuit #nabisco #nigeria #nigerianscam #johnroberts #banneryear

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Inspired to invent things that have never existed before, Steve finds a highly successful inventor who has agreed (for a fee) to be his mentor (for a year, under the terms of the program). His name believe it or not is Rodney Dangerfield, and you're probably using some of his inventions already. Just wait until you find out what he has coming soon! Steve writes down Uncle Sal's sayings in hopes of creating a new book. Jeff stayed in the studio to fully examine Rodney's last invention. Johnny is holding his breath.

Rodney Dangerfield - Eric Green

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra

#podcast #satire #invention @gofundme #tuesday #rubytuesday #gravity #comedy #tragedy $2nddegreemurder #tudor #clue #oralsex #brunch #musk #fraud #porn #snacks

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This week we go back to a show first aired last June, which seems timely once again. With so many public figures having public feuds these days, it was only a matter of time until our hosts had their own feud. Who knew it would be live in the studio in the middle of a show that was supposed to be about dream interpretation? Jeff may have fired the first shot, but a lot of people say Steve did and they don't care what the tape says, they're going with it. Miss Clare hoped to take on the winner. Johnny compared a Sea Breeze and a Cape Codder and decided that he likes vodka. Any resemblance between this feud and any actual public feud is purely coincidental.

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Miss Clare - Clare

Johnny - M. Hatfield McCoy

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.

#satire #politicalsatire #egos #feud #tesla #comedy #musk #MAGA #epstein

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When Jeff describes his recent bout of the flu, Steve wonders if it might be Jeff's horrible diet. After all, in the words of that great nutritionist Rodney Dangerfield, you are what you eat. Steve describes how his mom got him started on healthy eating and shares his mom's favorite recipes in hopes of improving Jeff's eating habits. Vodka sales should increase.

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Johnny - Bobby Beatflay

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra

#satire #improv #food #recipes #healthyeating #whitesale #foodpoisoning #popov #vodka #KFC #edibles #vodkasauce #weed #oregano #rahmemanuel #ramen #pepper #peppercorn #popovers #macncheese #mac&cheese #greenland #7-11 #hostess #peanutbutter

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Our hosts talk with a relative of Crash Davis and Smash Davis (former show guests) who is also on a quest for a Guinness Book of World Records record. Shipwreck Davis is focusing his record quest on Venezuelan fishing boats and has quite a good start thanks to the various boat attacks in recent times. Jeff plans a trip to Boca. Steve gave up song lyrics and quotes Eugene O'Neill. Johnny contemplates money without work, which is something he is skilled at.

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Johnny - Lex Fori

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra

#satire #shipwreck #fishingboat #venezuela #doubletap #extrajudicial #warcrime #pistolpete #deported #noelcoward #eugeneoneill #lexfori #boca #jewishathletes #whitehouseballroom #snapple #drpepper #maduro

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Steve thought it would be good to do a shorter show than usual this week and have a shorter opening joke. Unfortunately, Jeff thought Steve said to do a show filled with short jokes. In a desperate attempt to keep the show going, achievements in bad taste ensued. Several little people have asked for equal time. Jeff said he still believes in elves. Steve wants to hit the bars with Johnny. Miss Clare keeps sniffing her hair. Noam Chomsky may write an essay about this episode.

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Miss Clare - Clare

Johnny - Andy Dysgeusia

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra

#podcast #comedy #satire #poortastejokes #littlepeople #short #dwarf #elf #noamchomsky #miscommunication #shortjokes