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Some people wake up ready for the day. We wake up already side-eyeing it.

This week we explore the fine art of being pre-annoyed… irritated in advance, bothered before the bother, emotionally buffering before the Wi-Fi even drops.

Why does the sound of the garage door trigger a full internal monologue?

Why does “I’m hungry” land like a personal accusation?

Why do people say, “I gotta question…” and then pause like they’re building suspense for a Netflix docuseries? Just ask it. Rip the Band-Aid.

We also unpack:The aggressive “…or?” follow-up like we missed an invisible option.

• People who confidently narrate your life back to you.
• Line crowders who believe breathing on your neck builds community.
• And Diana declaring 7 PM dinner plans legally late. Seven. PM. The sun is still clocked in.

It’s petty psychology. It’s household chaos. It’s three women admitting we sometimes live in a constant state of pre-irritation for absolutely no reason… and also for very valid reasons.

If you’ve ever been annoyed before anything technically happened, this one’s for you.

Listen now, rate, review, follow, and send it to the person who says “I gotta question…” and then forgets it mid-sentence.

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Happy One Year, Shit Apples!!

In this anniversary episode, we roll out the glittery red carpet for our very first annual Shitties Award Ceremony. Yes, it’s as ridiculous as it sounds. We hand out completely unhinged awards to ourselves, relive the chaos, and crown the moments that made us laugh the hardest, cringe the deepest, and text each other “should we cut that?” (We didn’t.)

We rewind to how this whole thing started, the spark, the late night talks, the “should we actually do this?” energy and how far we’ve come. We give flowers where they’re due, especially to Stephanie, because none of this wild, beautiful ride happens without her.

Then, for the first time ever, the woman behind the camera steps into the chair. The mystery. The magic. The steady hand guiding the madness. We finally sit down with the queen of behind-the-scenes and get her perspective on how this all began and what it’s been like helping wrangle three women with microphones and zero filters.

And to close it all out, Shelley delivers a toast that feels like clinking champagne glasses under a disco ball made of good luck and bold dreams. ✨🥂

One year down. Bigger laughs ahead.

Thank you for being part of our orchard.

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This week we take aim at Valentine’s Day — not love itself, just the commercialized circus around it. We’re joined by our special guest Alicia Gayman, owner of Peace Love and Hair Salon in Scottsdale, who shares her jaw-dropping story that started like a fairytale and quickly turned into a full-blown nightmare. What she went through is shocking, eye-opening, and a powerful reminder to trust your gut.

After that, we get into our full Valentine’s Day rant: why we think it’s a manufactured holiday, why a single long-stem rose feels ridiculous, and why going out to dinner on February 14 is overpriced chaos. We break down all the things that make us roll our eyes — the pressure, the expectations, and the performative romance.

But true to our vibe, this isn’t a bash-love episode. Now that Alicia is on the other side of her experience, we ask her what she’s looking for in a partner — and discover that she’s still very much open to love!

It’s honest, funny, a little messy, and surprisingly hopeful — with plenty of side-eye for Cupid along the way.