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We missed you guys—like, a lot—and we’re finally back 🎉 After a great (and slightly chaotic) holiday season, we’re catching up, ringing in the New Year, and hoping yours was just as good. Happy New Year to all of our listeners… we missed you terribly.

In today’s episode, we’re talking all things New Year’s: parties, traditions, how our holidays actually went, our own New Year’s resolutions (take those lightly), and what we think other people’s resolutions should be. Plus, Shelley comes in hot with her opinions on what each of us should change about ourselves in the New Year… whether we asked or not.

Same us. New year. Let’s go. 🍎✨

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Pour the cocoa (or the wine) and cozy up because it’s time for A Very Shit Apple Christmas 🎄🍷

In this holiday episode, we’re talking all things Christmas — from the hottest gifts of the season and the family traditions we swear by, to settling the ultimate debate: what is the best Christmas movie of all time?

We’re also sharing our favorite Christmas songs, holiday opinions no one asked for, and plenty of stories in between to keep you laughing all the way through the season. Whether you’re wrapping gifts, hiding from your relatives, or just need a break from the chaos, this episode is your perfect soundtrack to the holidays.

Press play, get comfy, and spend Christmas with The Shit Apple Podcast 🎧✨

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They say karma takes care of everything… but we’re still refreshing the page. 👀

In this episode, we confess all the pettiest, most dramatic revenge fantasies we’ve ever had — from imaginary chaos in someone’s pristine closet to the wild urge to “accidentally” ruin a perfectly clean car. Do we act on these ideas? Absolutely not. Do we mentally rehearse them in HD? Every single day.

We talk about the long-standing grudges, the people who earned a permanent spot on our mental “no-fly list,” and whether karma actually works… or if she’s just on a very long coffee break. Spoiler: we might threaten revenge, but most of the time we choose healing, growth, and letting the universe handle our enemies.

Mostly.

If you’ve ever smiled sweetly while plotting revenge in your head, this one’s for you.