In this episode of the The Redeemed Marriage Podcast, we talk about a season many couples don’t expect—and few are prepared for—the frustration stage of healing after betrayal.

After confession, when the shock has worn off and the hard work has begun, couples often find themselves stuck. The repentant spouse may be doing “all the right things,” while the betrayed spouse still doesn’t feel safe. Change is happening—but safety hasn’t caught up yet.

We unpack an important distinction: behavior change matters, but safety is what heals. Early growth can actually feel unsettling, even threatening, when trust has been broken. That tension leaves both spouses exhausted—the repentant spouse wondering how long they’ll have to keep paying for the past, and the betrayed spouse fearing the pain may never fully go away.

Instead of living in score-keeping or defensiveness, we talk about what it looks like to move toward humble consistency, patience, and reassurance—and why healing cannot be forced or rushed.

Ultimately, real restoration doesn’t come from fixing each other. It comes when both spouses stop looking to their marriage for completion and allow God to be their source.

If your marriage feels stuck in the messy middle—where survival is happening but joy feels far away—this episode is for you. Healing is possible. Safety can be rebuilt. And God still writes miracles in places that feel beyond repair.

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As the new year begins, Rusty and Heather invite listeners into a conversation about goals, growth, and the role personal responsibility plays in a thriving marriage. In this first episode of the year, they do something they’ve never done publicly before—share their individual goals for 2026 with each other in real time.

Rather than focusing on fixing a spouse or creating rigid, legalistic resolutions, this conversation reframes what intentionality really looks like. Rusty and Heather reflect on how their approach to annual goals has evolved over the years, moving away from pressure and performance and toward clarity, grace, and purposeful direction. They unpack why personal growth is not selfish in marriage, but essential.

Using Luke 2:52 as a guiding framework, they explain how Jesus’ growth in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and others continues to shape how they think about goal-setting today. Along the way, they share the books they plan to read in the coming year, offer insight into what’s ahead for The Redeemed Marriage, and encourage listeners to pursue growth with intention.

This episode is an invitation to start the year differently—to stop trying to change your spouse, take ownership of your own growth, and discover how personal transformation can lead to deeper connection, freedom, and renewal in marriage in the year ahead.

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Retreat Information

What does real healing look like after betrayal—and who walks with you when the shock wears off and the long road begins?

In this episode of The Redeemed Marriage Podcast, Rusty and Heather sit down with Pennye Dees, the woman who stepped into Heather’s life just days after her confession of infidelity. Pennye shares her story, her calling, and why she believes deeply in walking with people patiently, faithfully, and over the long haul.

The conversation explores the earliest days after betrayal, what mattered most spiritually and emotionally, and why true healing requires more than quick fixes. Pennye offers wisdom for betraying spouses who want to do the right thing but feel overwhelmed, as well as for betrayed spouses who are trying to discern whether real heart change is taking place.

Listeners will gain clarity around questions many couples quietly wrestle with: What does true repentance look like beyond words? How can someone tell if a heart is genuinely turning toward Jesus rather than simply seeking relief from consequences? What signs point to lasting transformation instead of temporary behavior change?

The episode also casts vision for the often-overlooked gift of mentoring. Pennye explains why mentors are so critical during seasons of crisis and healing, what they provide that even well-meaning friends or pastors may not, and how to begin seeking that kind of support.

For couples in crisis, in recovery, or simply longing for deeper discipleship and accountability, this episode offers hope, wisdom, and a clear reminder that healing was never meant to be done alone.