Everyone talks about authenticity, and there's even a lot of shame for not "being real." But when you come from abuse and/or emotionally immature parents, it's actually really complicated to know how to be authentic. People-pleasing, fawning, emotional shutdown, freeze, and other trauma responses (often results of CPTSD) prevent us from even knowing how we feel, much less being able to express it. In this episode, licensed therapist Carli Kilbourne joins the pod to talk about how we get back to what's true for US.

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Unsafe people aren't going to walk up to you and tell you they're unsafe. But there are lots of signs if you know what to look for. Unfortunately, many of us had that internal alarm system groomed out of us as kids so that we could survive our unsafe parents and caregivers, and we literally don't know what to look for. Until now.

TW: This episode talks about acts of violence ICE has enacted on Americans.

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The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

When we're taught that "love" is conditional on outside approval, when we're taught to fear authority rather than stand in our personal power, when we're expected to provide unwavering loyalty and praise, even at our own expense—we come into adulthood deeply emotionally debilitated. Emotionally immature parents and caregivers leave lasting wounds on their children—a fear of rejection and abandonment, fawning and people pleasing, a lack of boundaries and sense of agency, trouble with relationships and attachment, and maybe worst of all, a deep confusion about what love is. In this episode, associate counselor Taylor Pearl joins me to get into emotionally immature parents—the core traits, the impact, and the healing we need.

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The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

It's my first epi of 2026! And we're getting into depression. Depressive episodes are so painful. You might think you'll never bounce back, and even worse, you might feel like you have to hide how sad you are so people won't reject you. In this episode, I spill the tea on my Christmas depressive episode and get into what I USED to do, what I did differently this time, and what I learned in the process.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

Our conversation on attachment styles continues! This week, we're getting into disorganized attachment style, aka fearful avoidant. One of the reasons this style is so hard to understand is that it's rooted in contradictory desires—wanting something while simultaneously fearing it. It can be as confusing for the people with this attachment style as it is for the people in relationship with them. Holistic therapist and podcaster Hayden Rosato joins me to talk us through how this attachment style differs from anxious and avoidant, what beliefs come up for those with disorganized attachment, how it impacts relationships, and how we start the healing process.

Looking for more episodes on attachment styles? Try episode 6—it's all about the anxious/avoidant relationship trap. Episode 95 is about avoidant attachment. You can also try any of these episodes—they're all about anxious attachment: episode 14, episode 88, and episode 89.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

How many people are walking around performing success—achieving, following the "rules," doing everything that's "supposed" to make you happy on paper, only to find themselves depressed, disconnected, and dissatisfied? Why do we do this? What's at the root of it? And how do we reroute our lives? In this episode, Danielle Mcgeough, professor, speaker, and transformation strategist, joins me to dig into the cause of performing happiness and how we heal.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

This is a continuation of the attachment style series! So many of us are avoidant *and don't even know it.* We avoid conflict, people please, shut down, and/or chronically fail to voice our needs in relationships (yes! this is what a fear of intimacy looks like!). So how do we go from avoidant attachment to a healthier, more secure attachment? In this episode, Dr. Diane Mueller, ND, DAOM, LAc, joins me to dive into how we got here, how it hurts us (aka it's literally impacting your health), and how we start to heal.

Want to work with Dr. Mueller? Check out her Eternal Honeymoon course! It's for couples who want to reignite the sexual spark. You'll get solutions and strategies for improving libido and drive (read: having mind-blowing sex again). Great for singles who want to improve their sexy-time communicaton skills, too!

Looking for more episodes on attachment styles? Try episode 6—it's all about the anxious/avoidant relationship trap. You can also try any of these episodes—they're all about anxious attachment: episode 14, episode 88, and episode 89.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

Find us on:

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

Have you heard about reactive defense, AKA reactive abuse? This is super important to know about if you've been in relationships with abusers (your family counts!), especially when narcissistic abuse is at play and YES, even chronic defensiveness. We're getting clear on what this looks like and how to get off the hamster wheel so we feel focused, clear, and powerful and not like we're about to lose our damn minds.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

Find us on:

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.