Most hard conversations don't start with an invitation. They start with something that sounds more like a verdict: You never listen to me. You don't respect my time. You don't care about my feelings. By the time we say those things, we've already decided what happened, what it means, and who's responsible. But those assumptions rarely resolve conflict. In this episode, I walk you through a shift that can completely change the quality of difficult conversations: moving from certainty to curiosity. When you learn to ask questions rather than make statements, you create more opportunities for connection. Here's what I cover:

• Why certainty feels so convincing and the psychological biases that make us believe our interpretation is the truth
• How to make observations without turning them into stories about someone else's intentions
• A three-step formula for approaching difficult conversations without certainty: observation, impact, and curiosity
• Why curiosity can be hard to access when your nervous system is activated and certainty feels safer
• Practical questions you can use to create more understanding and meaningful resolution in your relationships

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How often do you finally realize what you want to say hours, days, months, or even years after a misunderstanding or disagreement? Some people need time to process, but it's easy to think you've missed your chance once the moment has passed. Learning how to have hard conversations has changed my life more than almost anything else, and I've noticed a rule many of us follow without ever questioning it: after enough time passes, you're no longer allowed to bring something up. In this episode, I'm unpacking where that rule came from, who it benefits, and the rule I've replaced it with so more women can stop carrying unresolved hurt alone and start saying what they need to say. Here's what I cover:

• How so many of the rules we live by were just made up and never questioned
• What I call a “crockpot brain” and why some people need more time to respond
• Two questions to help you decide if something still needs to be addressed
• The steps to starting a hard conversation, no matter how much time has passed
• A conversation that allowed me to resolve my hurt after carrying it for four years

Join me LIVE for a free workshop on June 11 at 9am PT or June 24th at 1pm PT. Register for Speak Up here: sarafisk.coach/voice

Find Sara here:

sarafisk.coach

pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

instagram.com/sarafiskcoach

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youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

A high-demand system is any structure that requires a significant amount of your time, energy, and identity in exchange for belonging. We often think about high-demand religions, workplaces, families, or cultures, but there is one system that is hard to recognize because it’s so ingrained in society that it just feels like the way things are supposed to be: the good girl rules. The unspoken expectations women absorb throughout their lives function like any other high-demand system. They reward compliance, create fear around stepping outside the rules, and keep us so focused on being good enough that we never get the chance to fully discover who we are. But understanding the systems we live in is the first step toward finding our way back to ourselves. Here’s what I cover:

• The characteristics that most high-demand systems have in common
• How high-demand systems reward compliance and discourage deviation from the rules
• Examples of high-demand systems and the ways they shape identity and belonging
• Three of the biggest things women lose when living by the good girl rules
• Questions to help you examine the systems you live in and what they may cost you

Find Sara here:

sarafisk.coach

pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

instagram.com/sarafiskcoach

facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching

tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333