From New Year “resolutions” that last two days to unpacking emotional clutter, shopping habits, control, and the fear of slowing down, we explore what it means to grow older, wiser, and more self-aware—without pretending it’s easy. The conversation moves through themes of productivity, grief, identity shifts, motherhood wounds, friendships changing with life stages, and the realization that many of us were surviving long before we ever learned how to be present.

In the Tap In or Tap Out? segment, we speak to a listener navigating guilt, shame, and fear around leaving relationships, setting boundaries, and choosing themselves.

The gem: It’s never too late to change, heal, forgive, and reinvent who you are.

Tap in.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:56 New Year's Reflections

03:23 Setting Intentional Goals

04:20 The 12-Week Year Explained

09:50 Challenges of Perimenopause

11:29 Moving and Decluttering

24:43 Aging and Memory

30:43 Navigating Identity/Self-Discovery

31:15 Breaking Free from the Hamster Wheel

31:29 Exploring New Hobbies and Interests

34:09 Adapting to Life Changes and Friendships

38:21 Aging and Health Concerns

44:01 Planning for the Future

52:22 Tap In or Tap Out!? Moving Forward and Self-Forgiveness

01:00:55 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Hosts: Dr. Tiffany Darby, Dr. Tiffany Monroe-Hurd, Dr. Tiffany Hairston

tapinwithtiffany@gmail.com

Produced By: Lumen Vision Sound

www.lumen-vision-sound.com/podcasts

We open up with a catch-up on life, exhaustion, and transitions—moving homes, shifting work dynamics, and the realities of being high-achieving Black women who are still BLACKITY BLACK! This leads to a deeper conversation about identity, education, and the stereotypes placed on Black professionals, particularly around PhDs, power dynamics, and ego.

From there, we turn toward reflection and end-of-year evaluation. We examine what it means to “move softer,” questioning whether rest, boundaries, and doing less truly feel safe when control has long been tied to our survival. High pain tolerance, overfunctioning, and constant productivity can disguise emotional numbness—and that numbness often keeps people trapped in cycles that look productive but feel empty.

The metaphor of the hamster wheel becomes central: getting off briefly for rest, self-care, or vacations, but always jumping back on without fundamentally changing the cage itself. The conversation challenges us to consider whether we are truly choosing ourselves—or simply managing burnout while avoiding bigger, scarier changes.

In Tap In or Tap Out?, a listener asks how to grieve a living parent—specifically a mother who is emotionally unavailable, self-centered, and resistant to accountability. We discuss grief, reparenting, unrealistic expectations, boundaries, and the painful but necessary process of removing titles in order to see relationships clearly. Choosing peace does not mean carrying hatred, but it may mean accepting who someone is—and deciding how much access they get to you.

Change is inevitable, resilience is learned, and community support is essential. Growth doesn’t come from staying comfortable—it comes from stepping into the unknown, trusting yourself, and allowing life to move you forward.

Tap in.

00:00 Introduction and Catch-Up
02:30 Life Changes, Exhaustion, and Reflection
05:45 Black Identity, PhDs, and Stereotypes
10:12 Ego, Power Dynamics, and Dating with Advanced Degrees
14:20 Control, Softness, and Safety
18:45 Letting Go, Fixing, and Overfunctioning
24:30 What “Soft Life” Actually Means
29:10 Work, Money, and the Pressure to Grind
34:55 The Hamster Wheel Metaphor
40:15 Comfort vs Growth
45:10 Pain Tolerance, Numbness, and Resilience
51:20 Faith, Change, and Trusting the Unknown
55:00 Tap In or Tap Out?: Grieving a Living Parent
01:03:00 Reparenting, Boundaries, and Choosing Peace
01:10:30 Final Reflections and Closing

Hosts: Dr. Tiffany Darby, Dr. Tiffany Monroe-Hurd, Dr. Tiffany Hairston

tapinwithtiffany@gmail.com

Produced By: Lumen Vision Sound

www.lumen-vision-sound.com/podcasts

We kick things off with a wild story about football moms fighting in the stands—sparking a bigger conversation about conflict, communication, and why some people throw hands while others just don’t care enough to fight.

From there, we dive deep into sex and sexuality. We unpack the Madonna complex, shifting sex drives in long-term relationships, and the need for open dialogue about fantasies and kinks. We also call out the stigma men face when exploring sexual fluidity or non-traditional interests, and challenge the double standards that continue to police women’s sexuality.

This week’s Tap in or Tap Out? segment features a listener question about perimenopause. We share insights on symptoms, the importance of finding a knowledgeable OB/GYN—especially one attuned to Black women’s health experiences—and ways to manage changes through hormone therapy, nutrition, and community support. We close with a reminder that communication and openness are key to navigating both relationships and life transitions.

Tap in Ya'll!

Hosts: Dr. Tiffany Darby, Dr. Tiffany Monroe-Hurd, Dr. Tiffany Hairston

tapinwithtiffany@gmail.com

Produced By: Lumen Vision Sound

www.lumen-vision-sound.com/podcasts