I’m over the 50/50 conversations.

Cause who’s really talking splitting money with a guy who can’t even locate himself?

I’m talking vibe change.

You ask.

He acts like nothings changed.

Why isn’t there more of: “look I’m processing something— we are still good but give me a minute.”

Instead of acting different and making me feel like I’m tripping.

If we say “at this big age” we are going to be open, honest and transparent… then there is a moment where vulnerability will help us “win the relationship” but you choose otherwise and expect me to “pull the emotions” out of you… we will lose the relationship every time. Why am I always put in a position where I have to think “am I tripping or did the energy shift?” — and it’s never the man with enough integrity to explain what’s going on with him or why the energy shifted.

I can’t figure out my emotions and yours sir.

So, is it really about the 50/50?

-I have thoughts about him-

Originally Written: December 2023

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You know where to find me @justmeReka on IG & TikTok.

You know where to find me.

IG = @justmeRea

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Relationships, Statistics, and Self-Exploration: Unveiling Truths about Dating (each other) for Black Men and Women. An argument as to why we should give the bus driver a chance.

In this thought-provoking podcast episode hosted by Reka Robinson, she engages in a candid conversation with J. Hall about the complexities of relationships, the influence of statistics in dating, and the dynamics surrounding Black men and women. Together, they delve into the following thought-provoking questions:

1. Should we base our choices on relationship statistics or on the reality we experience? Reka and J. Hall ponder the implications of relying solely on statistical data when it comes to dating and whether it aligns with personal experiences and individual needs. And where does faith come in?
2. Nurturing Black men: Reka and J. Hall examine the idea of supporting and uplifting Black men. They question whether assumptions about their strengths and comfort levels hinder our ability to truly understand their needs and desires. The importance of open communication and asking questions is emphasized.
3. Room for questions: The conversation navigates around whether Black men allow space for questioning, or if their ego obstructs genuine dialogue. Exploring the facets of self-discovery, they wonder if Black men truly explore the potential of the man they aspire to become. Why can’t we call our men up?
4. Acknowledging collective struggles: J. Hall shares his newfound understanding that the challenges faced by women in their interactions with men impact society as a whole. “I use to say that sucks for you, now I know it sucks for us.”
5. The path to healing: Reka opens up about her personal journey, revealing that she believes true healing can only be achieved by embracing the discomfort and vulnerability that comes with building relationships. She wonders if she will be able to reach that point with a Black man. Can we get past that wall?
6. Financial stability and trust: The discussion shifts to the topic of financial stability and its impact on dating within the Black community. Reka and J. Hall question whether Black men should refrain from dating until they achieve financial stability and whether Black women are expected to meet them at the bottom as a way to gain their trust.
7. Reflecting truths: Reka shares her belief that she has the ability to make men confront their own selves, which can be uncomfortable for them, leading to avoidance. Which is why they run and why relationships never work out for her.

Throughout the episode, Reka and J. Hall provide listeners with an engaging and thought-provoking dialogue that challenges preconceived notions about relationships, explores the dynamics between Black men and women, and encourages a deeper understanding of oneself and others.

• You can find J.Hall here.
• His Blog here.
• The episode of 'The Good Girl Podcast' we mention is here.
• The history of being Black; here.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

"I am intentional about not losing myself in my marriage." - Meg

(host) Reka, sits down with the inspiring Meg Watt to explore the dynamics of her decade-long relationship with her husband, Darrel. Through their conversation, they uncover valuable insights on building a healthy marriage, the importance of proper planning and strategy, and the need to embrace personal growth.

Meg begins by acknowledging the widespread desire many people have for the kind of fulfilling relationship she shares with Darrel. However, she highlights the unfortunate reality that most individuals fail to listen to her advice, missing out on the secrets to long-lasting-healthy love.

The journey of Meg and Darrel's relationship takes an unexpected turn early on when Darrel breaks up with Meg after two years. Meg candidly shares this experience, explaining that Darrel felt unprepared and uncertain about their future together. Reflecting on this challenging period, Meg emphasizes the significance of therapy in their reconciliation and subsequent reunion.

The podcast delves deeper into Meg's decision to give their relationship another chance despite her initial reservations about Darrell's previous breakup. Meg challenges the notion of holding onto an immature attitude and emphasizes the importance of personal growth and maturity in nurturing a strong bond.

Furthermore, Meg reveals the 'trauma plans' she and Darrel have implemented in their relationship. She sheds light on the significance of recognizing and addressing past traumas, emphasizing how this awareness contributes to a healthier and more resilient partnership.

Throughout the conversation, Meg shares her perspective on how individuals often normalize suppressing their own needs and desires, especially within the context of relationships. She encourages listeners to break free from this pattern, advocating for open communication and self-expression as essential ingredients for relationship growth.

Meg also touches upon the importance of empathy towards those who break up with us. She suggests that, that maybe these individuals (men) may have only experienced our unique type of love in their dreams and how overwhelming that can be for them. So having grace for ourselves in 'choosing wrong' and their choice to retreat is a crucial approach to our healing.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

"We have to stop internalizing people’s fruit inspection of us. - Tiyahri

In this podcast episode, my guest is Dr. Tiyahri Wilson and we explore the topic of preference when it comes to dating, specifically for Black women. We start off by discussing whether Eboni K. Williams is allowed to have her own preference and if Black women are allowed to be vocal about theirs. We also touch on Eboni's comment, "If he owns the bus," and whether men were too sensitive about her preference.

Dr. Tiyahri shares a quote that encourages people to stop internalizing others' opinions of them. Myself and Tiyahri also reveal whether WE would date a bus driver and while our preference isn't exactly aligned with Eboni's, we do express our support for her answer, her reasoning and more. Then we move on to the rebuttal made by Dr. Iyanla Vanzant about the criteria used to measure men being off, which sparks a conversation about the cultural push for marriage and motherhood and how it may maintain patriarchal control and dominance.

Dr. Iyanla Vanzant said: "The standards and the criteria we use to measure men are off, for who we are as women and who they are in this society.”

The conversation then turns to the difference between "finding love" or "falling in love" versus "choosing love." This episodes ends with us discussing the idea that as long as the competition is "I'm not gonna let you out love me," the marriage will work. Overall, the episode provides thought-provoking insights on preference, love, and the societal norms that surround relationships.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

In this episode of the podcast hosted by (Me) Reka Robinson with guest (life coach) Bryan Thomas, Bryan talks about his divorce and the lessons he learned from it. He explains why he was with her for a few years but only married for months and that when love is given with the intent to change instead of cover, problems arise. We discuss the concept "Love is meant to cover and not change, according to God." (1 Peter 4:8)

We also discuss the concept of loving blindly and how it can lead to problems. Bryan stresses the importance of finding someone who matches our values and needs. He also discusses his decision to remain single until he finds someone who matches his discipline. Bryan believes that we should stop giving potential partners the benefit of the doubt. They also talk about what marriage taught Bryan about women and himself. Finally, they delve into the difference between falling in love and choosing love.

• 16:47: "When love is given with the intent to change and not the intent to cover. That is where you will run into a problem. God never says that ‘love changes’ but he says ‘love covers." - Bryan

• 26:53: becoming the person that I’m called to become that is my responsibility, that is not the responsibility of the person I’m with. The thing that I’m asking you, is that when I make mistakes, will you hold my hand and say “I got you” as I’m elevating or are you going to push me to the side because maybe what you signed up for didn’t included the capacity to be able to handle the downside to the evolution that I’m bringing.
• 50:24: What did marriage teach him about women?
• 1:01:04: What did marriage teach him about himself? + “Falling in love vs. choosing love”.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

"Share what you want him to know and then allow him to ask the questions that go along with that." - Dr. Tiyahri Wilson. Find her here.

In this episode of the podcast hosted by (myself) Reka and mental health therapist Tiyahri, we dive deep into the societal pressure on women to measure their worth by marriage and kids (The Ashanti of it All). We discuss the harmful comments that are often directed towards unmarried women in their 40s and question why finding true love is not taught as an uncertain reality of life. We emphasize the importance of not measuring one's value by marriage and instead being careful about the way we perceive and understand this beautiful institution (around 14:46). Then of course we analyze MAFS (Married at First Sight. Season 16) couples, such as Jasmine and Airris, to understand what emotional unavailability looks like and whether the therapists on the show are ethical (around 25:50). Here is where Tiyahri defines "emotional unavailable" and we give tangible examples.

The podcast hosts also take a closer look at Kirsten and Shaq (around 44:45), discussing what it means to be extremely guarded and questioning why someone so shut down would go on a show like MAFS. They explore what "doing the work" looks like for someone who is guarded and provide advice on how to open up in a relationship. Additionally, the hosts discuss Dominique and Mackinley and analyze the way Dominique mishandled the situation (around 55:43). They question whether 25 is too young for marriage and discuss the importance of being honest about what one wants in a relationship. This podcast episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to understand societal pressures on women, emotional unavailability in relationships, and the intricacies of marriage.

"Ya'll really think that a Black women's hyper-independence (general speaking) is self imposed and that narrative is so tired. All these Black women are out here asking for help and expressing their needs, receiving nothing. That is what breeds hyper independence address that." - IG Streets. (around 19:14)

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠⁠here⁠⁠.

• Twitter ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠
• Facebook ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠
• TikTok ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠
• Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a

The first 28 mins is my discussion with my friend Cameo King (of the Good Girl Podcast) about her experience on the Red Table (Talk).

The episode she was on is titled: How to Find and Keep a Healthy Relationship and you can listen to that here.

Then we get into the following;

• 28:10 When it comes to 'finding and keeping a healthy relationship' what did we learn from; Dating coach Matthew Hussey, author Stephan Labossiere, podcast host Lewis Howes and relationship advisor DeVon Franklin?
• 30:00 Masculine and Feminine is not real life.
• 31:08 Being a 1 dimensional feminine woman can be boring... here is why...
• 34:01 Again what is the difference between compromise and settling... I think we found our answer through Matthew Hussey.
• 36:54 Why is dating so fun and intentional in the beginning but 3, 6 months down the road he falls off?
• 39:00 I fear making the wrong decision yet again.
• 43:03 That masculine and feminine energy conversation puts people in boxes.
• 45:58 Seriously who am I dating? Ever dated a man who couldn't locate himself?
• 50:21 I can't heal this side of me until I get on the other side of a relationship.

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At this time I am not coaching but My DM is always open! Find me on IG ⁠here⁠.

• Twitter ⁠here.⁠
• Facebook ⁠here.⁠
• TikTok ⁠here.⁠
• Email = Reka@justmeReka.com

Xo 💕𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘓𝘗 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩, 𝘙𝘦𝘬a