Maureen is sick. Just a little sick! Dan wants her to back to bed, but Maureen has too many stories to tell…stories of princes, Lords of Darkness, arcane rituals, and houses that cost a single peppercorn. The UK is full of intrigue!

Meanwhile, it’s all pizza and beer and war over in the US. Why can’t we get a magical house for a single peppercorn or have a prince that’s called the c***?

Get cozy under this blanket, SaysWhovia. It’s story time!

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It’s Maureen’s birthday week! She’s spending it in her signature style—walking maybe too far, biting off more than she can chew, and organizing her notebooks.

Meanwhile, Dan has been enjoying a little summery weather in the middle of the cold winter. While he was out, he heard a story. He wants to share it with Maureen, because Maureen loves stories. And dogs. Maureen loves dogs. And so, apparently, does Pam Bondi.

Also, these aren't bright people and things got out of hand.

Quick, get the balloons, SaysWhovia!

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Dan and Maureen are easing into February with clear heads and warm hearts. It’s basically still New Year’s, so Maureen is talking planners! But in an okay way. She really has a grip on it now. The problem, actually—or the subject—is ducks, and their organization. Sometimes, you just have too many!

Speaking of too many—there are too many Epstein files and too many terrible things in them, but in some places, like the UK, they matter! And things are happening. Lots of things. Lots of things are still happening in Minneapolis as well—and in other places.

But never mind all of that! Trump is mad about the Super Bowl.

Gather ye ducks, SaysWhovia. Gather ye ducks!

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So it turns out Maureen has been collecting rocks all this time.

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SaysWhovia! We are back. Well, Dan has been here all along suffering through *waves hands in all directions* with the rest of you. But Maureen? Maureen has been away! Offline! Disconnected! And she's made a big mistake:

She came back.

Welcome to hell.

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2026 has arrived on the stage with a lot to prove. Thirteen days in, Dan and Maureen try to parse it all, and they have an idea: bear holes.

Get digging, SaysWhovia.

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Welcome to 2026?

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It's the end of the year and Maureen has some things to say.

Happy New Year?

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