Imagine driving on the highway and seeing a completely naked man riding a stolen yellow ATV against traffic on the interstate.

That’s exactly what happened in Kansas City. While millions watched it unfold on social media.

High, unclothed, and wildly confident, this man led police on a 20-minute chase through neighborhoods, medians, and highways before crashing and finally being arrested.

Clothes were optional. Arrest was not.

A 68-year-old Florida man with two prior DUIs and a license suspended since 1978 crashes his riding lawn mower into a police car… then says the quiet part out loud: “F* it, I’m drunk, take me to jail.”** He later demands a blood test, claims he’s being poisoned, and the results come back: 0.241 BAC, plus cocaine.

A Polk County, Florida man rides a Segway into oncoming traffic. Right by the sheriff’s office substation, after drinking nearly two bottles of wine. He blows a 0.24 BAC (three times the legal limit) and learns the hard way: yes, you can catch a DUI on a Segway.

Drug smugglers really said “vegetables will save us.”

At the Texas–Mexico border, Border Patrol officers stopped what looked like a normal shipment of carrots… until they realized some of those carrots were fake. Inside? 2,493 pounds of marijuana worth half a million dollars. Stuffed into carrot-shaped packages and mixed in with real produce.

The smugglers tried the same trick at the same checkpoint just two months after getting caught the first time. Bold? Yes. Smart? Absolutely not.

This episode proves one thing: creativity does not equal intelligence.

A 51-year-old endurance athlete tries to cross the Atlantic Ocean in a homemade “Hydro Pod.” Basically a giant hamster wheel made of buoys and wire mesh. The Coast Guard intercepts him multiple times, and one attempt turns into a full-on standoff when he claims he has a bomb. Dreams are powerful… but physics and the Coast Guard are stronger.

A woman in Great Falls, Montana calls 911 to report “bad meth” causing a tingling tongue, nausea, and vomiting… then casually tells the officer she has more meth in her bra and hands it over for testing. She wanted quality control. She got a felony.

A Florida man has a “bad reaction” to meth and calls the sheriff’s office to test it for quality… then actually brings it to the station like he’s filing a customer service ticket. The cops tested it. It was meth. And then they arrested him.

Two teens carjack a man at gunpoint… get the keys… hop in the driver’s seat… and can’t drive off because the car is a stick shift. Manual transmission: the original anti-theft device.