Send a text

What happens when a perinatal therapist and loss mom "slides into the inbox" of a fellow therapist and author? You get a powerful collaboration designed to help families navigate the unique trauma of the NICU. In this episode, Chelsea sits down with Emily Souder and Mahaley Patel to discuss their new guided journal, Birth Story Brave: NICU Edition.

Mahaley shares her heartbreaking and transformative journey through the loss of her daughter, Saachi, and how that experience led her to pursue surrogacy and eventually parent two "babies six months apart".

Emily discusses her background in PICU trauma and how she uses her "garden witch" energy to help parents slow down and claim their stories.

Together, they explore the concept of "The Both/And"—rejecting toxic silver linings while embracing the beautiful, strange connections (and signs like dragonflies, butterflies, and crows!) that emerge from the darkest moments of parenting.

🔑Key Takeaways

• Rejecting Silver Linings: The guests discuss why "silver linings" can be harmful, as they often feel like a justification for a child's death. Instead, they advocate for the "Both/And"—holding grief and creativity simultaneously.
• The Universal Impact of the NICU: Whether a stay lasts for hours or months, or whether the outcome is bringing a baby home or leaving without one, the experience is valid and impactful.
• Signs as Connection: From butterflies and dragonflies to snails and crows, the episode highlights how paying attention to "signs" can help grieving parents feel connected to something bigger.
• Partner Stories Matter: A major goal of their new book was to include the often-forgotten perspective of partners in the NICU journey.

💬Sound Bites

• "The answer to an unasked question is always no... the worst thing that could happen is they say no."
• "How do you tell a person in 30 seconds... that they are the reason that you're still breathing?" (Note: This is a cross-reference to Chelsea's reflection in the package context).
• "I think that silver linings become those reasons... I cannot stand when people give me a silver lining because what it says to me is that my daughter's death was justified."
• "Shame dies when we bring it out of the darkness and shine a light on it."

Resources:

• The Books:
  • Birth Story Brave: NICU Edition by Emily Souder
  • Your NICU Story: Reflecting on Your Family's Experience by Emily Souder & Mahaley Patel
• Emily’s Website: https://emilysouder.com/
• Mahaley’s Practice: https://www.mahaleypatel.com/

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

Real moms. Real talk. Zero sugarcoating.
Join Odd Moms On Call as we tackle parenting in a world on fire—one hot take, eye roll, and belly laugh at a time.

Support the show

Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch

Send a text

In this week’s brain dump, Chelsea celebrates a major milestone: 10,000 podcast downloads. Recorded while navigating a household of sick children and their own chronic illness flare, Chelsea explores the contrast between a 2022 mental health crisis and a redemptive 37th birthday trip to see Brandi Carlile.

From a "Friday the 13th" identity theft scare to the healing power of live music at TD Garden, this confession is an honest look at honoring your needs while celebrating the glimmers in the grit.

Key Takeaways

• Celebrating 10k: The podcast reached 10,000 downloads, proving that creating a safe, sacred space for birth and trauma stories resonates globally.
• The Reality of Chronic Illness Parenting: Chelsea shares the struggle of parenting while immune-compromised during a "cesspool" of school germs and sub-zero Vermont temperatures.
• The "Friday the 13th" Birthday: A cautionary tale about a hacked DoorDash account and the importance of bank fraud protection during a vacation.
• Redemptive Experiences: Seeing the same musical artist in a healthy state vs. a state of crisis can serve as a powerful marker for recovery and progress.
• The Healing Power of Music: Musical "one-two-three punches" (like Carlile’s You Without Me, The Mother, and The Story) can facilitate essential emotional releases.
• Honoring Your Needs: Being transparent about limitations and chronic illness helps find "your people"—those who offer support rather than judgment.

Resources

• Brandi Carlile "Bramily"
• Legal Seafood Harborside: Chelsea's Top 5 birthday meal recommendation.
• Quiet Connection Germany: Shout out to my listener in Frankfurt am Main, Hesse Germany!

Support the show

Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch

Send a text

In this vulnerable session, Chelsea sits down with French Canadian wellness coach and author Sandrine Lavoie-Filion to discuss the profound identity shift that often accompanies motherhood. Despite years of experience as a kinesiologist coaching pregnant and postpartum women, Sandrine reveals the stark difference between theoretical knowledge and the internal reality of becoming a mother.

Sandrine opens up about her unexpected journey into motherhood, the shame she felt when her initial reaction to a positive pregnancy test was fear rather than joy, and the challenges of bonding with a baby who didn't initially "feel" like hers. She describes how she used journaling to navigate postpartum meltdowns and the loss of her former self, eventually turning those private reflections into her book, Uncensored First Time Mom Confessions. This episode is a must-listen for anyone who has ever felt like "the problem" while navigating the complexities of their new parental identity.

🔑Key Takeaways

• Theory vs. Experience: Even experts can feel overwhelmed; Sandrine discovered that knowing the physiology of postpartum is entirely different from living through the hormonal and identity shifts.
• The Complexity of the "Positive" Test: It is valid and common to feel scared, overwhelmed, or even shameful when learning of a pregnancy, especially if it wasn't planned or if you previously questioned your desire to have children.
• Delayed Bonding is Normal: Unconditional love isn't always instantaneous; for many, it is a relationship that grows over time through the routine of care and mutual discovery.
• The "Golden Hour" Myth: Labor is physically and mentally exhausting; Sandrine highlights that wanting to sleep rather than have a "magical" bonding moment immediately after birth is a valid reaction to sleep deprivation.
• Journaling as a Healing Tool: Putting thoughts on paper allows parents to externalize their "spiraling" thoughts, navigate the root causes of meltdowns, and release the shame associated with their feelings.

💬Sound Bites

• "I realized now that there's a big difference between what you can know about pregnancy and postpartum versus how it actually feels."
• "Who would have thought that becoming a mother brought so many questions about yourself, but also the type of mother you want to be?"
• "I had that pregnancy test saying I was pregnant. And I was just scared, overwhelmed, and I didn't know how to feel."
• "I think it's unrealistic to say like, this is a new human being and I'm supposed to have this unconditional love for him. I don't know him."
• "When you write it down, when it's on paper, it's so much easier because you can go back to it... understand it better... and ask yourself questions."

Support the show

Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch