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What happens when a perinatal therapist and loss mom "slides into the inbox" of a fellow therapist and author? You get a powerful collaboration designed to help families navigate the unique trauma of the NICU. In this episode, Chelsea sits down with Emily Souder and Mahaley Patel to discuss their new guided journal, Birth Story Brave: NICU Edition.

Mahaley shares her heartbreaking and transformative journey through the loss of her daughter, Saachi, and how that experience led her to pursue surrogacy and eventually parent two "babies six months apart".

Emily discusses her background in PICU trauma and how she uses her "garden witch" energy to help parents slow down and claim their stories.

Together, they explore the concept of "The Both/And"—rejecting toxic silver linings while embracing the beautiful, strange connections (and signs like dragonflies, butterflies, and crows!) that emerge from the darkest moments of parenting.

🔑Key Takeaways

• Rejecting Silver Linings: The guests discuss why "silver linings" can be harmful, as they often feel like a justification for a child's death. Instead, they advocate for the "Both/And"—holding grief and creativity simultaneously.
• The Universal Impact of the NICU: Whether a stay lasts for hours or months, or whether the outcome is bringing a baby home or leaving without one, the experience is valid and impactful.
• Signs as Connection: From butterflies and dragonflies to snails and crows, the episode highlights how paying attention to "signs" can help grieving parents feel connected to something bigger.
• Partner Stories Matter: A major goal of their new book was to include the often-forgotten perspective of partners in the NICU journey.

💬Sound Bites

• "The answer to an unasked question is always no... the worst thing that could happen is they say no."
• "How do you tell a person in 30 seconds... that they are the reason that you're still breathing?" (Note: This is a cross-reference to Chelsea's reflection in the package context).
• "I think that silver linings become those reasons... I cannot stand when people give me a silver lining because what it says to me is that my daughter's death was justified."
• "Shame dies when we bring it out of the darkness and shine a light on it."

Resources:

• The Books:
  • Birth Story Brave: NICU Edition by Emily Souder
  • Your NICU Story: Reflecting on Your Family's Experience by Emily Souder & Mahaley Patel
• Emily’s Website: https://emilysouder.com/
• Mahaley’s Practice: https://www.mahaleypatel.com/

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

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Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

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