In this episode, Patrick Teahan, MSW, explores the baseline feeling of being “in trouble”, that constant sense that someone is mad at you, you did something wrong, or you are about to be shamed. He breaks down why this internal alarm is so common in childhood trauma and how it can follow people into adulthood through imposter syndrome, anxiety dreams, and chronic hypervigilance.

Rather than treating it like a personality flaw, Patrick connects the “in trouble” feeling to shame-based family systems, especially homes with emotionally immature or abusive caregivers, scapegoating, addiction, unpredictable rules, and punishment instead of repair. He reframes it as an emotional flashback where the body signals, “It’s happening again,” even when the present moment is safe.

Listeners will learn:

• Why you might feel “in trouble” even when nothing is wrong
• How toxic shame damages self-trust and relationships
• Why relaxing can feel unsafe after growing up with chronic blame
• How survival responses like fawning, shutdown, fight, and parentification develop
• How to tell the difference between present-day accountability and old conditioning
• Journal prompts to trace where this started and “talk back” to the internalized abusive voice

Patrick also shares recovery tools like inner child work, repairing distorted perception, boundary development, and practicing self-protection in present-day triggers, such as conflict, tense emails, and setting preferences.

If you grew up feeling like a burden, the “bad kid,” or like one misstep could ruin everything, this episode offers language, validation, and a path toward reclaiming safety and self-trust.

Keywords: childhood trauma, toxic shame, feeling in trouble, emotional flashbacks, hypervigilance, emotionally immature parents, scapegoating, parentification, fawning, imposter syndrome, inner child work, trauma recovery

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In this episode, Patrick shares a personal story about what it can look like when long-held trauma responses begin to loosen after years of recovery work and how flashbacks can shift into quieter moments of recognition instead of distress.

Rather than focusing on symptoms alone, Patrick connects the body-level experience of trauma anniversaries, shame attacks, and emotional flashbacks to the family system that created them, including emotionally immature parenting, addiction, domestic violence, and poor boundaries.

Using a trip through Ireland as the backdrop, Patrick reflects on returning to the Ring of Kerry and Dingle Peninsula decades after a childhood visit with a narcissistic, alcoholic father and noticing a body memory that arrives without the old shame and fear. He contrasts that earlier experience with traveling alongside his son, describing what it means to feel detached from a parent’s legacy and present in your own life.

Important Takeaways for the Listener:

• How trauma anniversaries can show up as subtle body memories, and how they can change after sustained healing work
• Why kids often feel like accomplices to adult dysfunction, and how that fuels shame and distorted self-perception
• How emotionally immature caregivers and chaotic family systems shape attachment, safety, and identity
• What it means to break cycles with or without becoming a parent, and how to separate yourself from a family legacy
• Why overwhelm in the current climate can activate old survival states, and how to orient back to the present
• How reflective tools, including a toxic family style assessment he references, can help name what the ACE framework may miss about family dynamics

Patrick also discusses recovery themes like inner child work, repairing distorted perception, reducing shame-based identity, and building a life where you no longer represent your parents’ choices.

If you carry a sense of inherited shame, feel easily activated by the world, or are noticing your triggers changing as you heal, this episode offers a grounded example of what progress can feel like over time.

Keywords: childhood trauma, emotional flashbacks, body memories, shame attacks, trauma anniversaries, emotionally immature parents, narcissistic parent, addiction in families, intergenerational trauma, breaking cycles, inner child work, recovery

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In this episode, Patrick Teahan, MSW, explores nine rarely named but deeply damaging family dynamics that quietly shape childhood trauma and follow people into adulthood.

Rather than focusing on symptoms alone, Patrick breaks down the dysfunctional family systems behind them—the unspoken rules, emotional roles, and survival patterns that distort self-worth, boundaries, and relationships.

As a follow-up to 11 Oddly Specific Childhood Trauma Issues, this episode examines how growing up in emotionally immature or unsafe families affects perception, identity, and connection. From households where feelings are ignored but secretly run everything, to families that bond through complaining instead of change, Patrick explains how these patterns condition children to self-betray, overfunction, or disappear.

Listeners will learn:

• What happens when children grow up without mutually satisfying parental relationships
• How scapegoating, gaslighting, and chronic blame damage self-trust
• Why some families resist growth and punish success
• The emotional cost of always being “the responsible one”
• How gender roles and hierarchy reinforce dysfunction
• Why survivors are often told to “be the better person” with abusive relatives

Patrick also discusses recovery tools, including inner child work, repairing distorted perception, boundary development, and learning to step out of dysfunctional family roles.

If you grew up feeling unseen, unsafe, or emotionally responsible for others, this episode offers language, validation, and a clearer path toward healing.

Keywords: childhood trauma, toxic family systems, emotionally immature parents, CPTSD, family dysfunction, emotional neglect, scapegoating, parentification, trauma recovery, boundaries, inner child healing

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