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Not Bad Advice

Not Bad Advice

Von: Forces of Equal
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 Can you make your life better in 30 minutes or less? We think so! In each episode of Not Bad Advice, your hosts Pamela Lund and CK Chung will offer you a new perspective that you can use right away to improve one aspect of your life. Feel happier, more confident, and less anxious no matter who you are because good advice is universal. Think of us as the friends who always give you good, practical advice when you need it (even if you don’t know it yet). After listening you’ll think, "Hey, that’s not bad advice!" Need advice about something? Ask us here: https://forcesofequal.com/not-bad-advice/Forces of Equal
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  • How To Have Grit To Control Your Thoughts And Persevere

    How To Have Grit To Control Your Thoughts And Persevere
    Jul 14 2021
    Everyone has thoughts that hold them back and reducing the impact of those thoughts is the most important key to achieving your big goals. If you can’t get out of your own way, it won’t matter how many opportunities you’re offered. Learn about the last two types of grit that you need to maximize your potential, the grit to control your thoughts and the grit to persevere. The two episodes we mention that will help you learn to control your thoughts are: How to Change Reality How to Coach Yourself Need advice about something? Ask us here: ForcesOfEqual.com/Advice/ Transcript Pam: [00:06] You’re listening to Not Bad Advice, where our goal is to offer perspective that helps you improve one aspect of your life at a time. [00:13] I’m Pamela Lund. CK: [00:20] And I’m CK Chung. Pam: [00:22] And we hope that after listening you’ll think, ” Hey, that’s not bad advice!” [00:27] This is the fifth and final episode in our series on developing grit. If you missed the last four episodes, go back and listen to them because each of the types of grit, we discuss work together and you need them all. [00:50] If you only build up the grit to train your pain and don’t build up the grit to recover, you’ll burn out. And if you only build up the grit to train your weaknesses, but not the grit to master your fears, the weaknesses you train up, won’t be meaningful enough to make a difference. And if you don’t train the two types of grit we’re covering today, the grit to control your thoughts and the grit to persevere, you won’t be able to train the other types of grit at all. [01:19] The grit to control your thoughts is really about developing the ability to separate what you think from who you are and to reprogram harmful thought patterns. Everyone has thoughts that hold them back to varying degrees and reducing the impact is the most important key to achieving your big goals. [01:44] If you can’t get out of your own way, it won’t matter how many opportunities you’re offered. If you don’t believe you can do what you want to do, you won’t. try the grit to control your thoughts is really about developing the ability to separate what you think from who you are and to reprogram harmful thought patterns. Everyone has thoughts that hold them back to varying degrees and reducing the impact is the most important key to achieving your big goals. [02:25] If you can’t get out of your own way, it won’t matter how many opportunities you’re offered. If you don’t believe you can do what you want to do, you won’t try or you’ll sabotage your own progress. And every perceived failure you have will just reinforce. What you think you’re not capable of? This creates a vicious cycle where self-limiting thoughts create more self-limiting thoughts holding you back even more. [03:00] This creates a vicious cycle where self-limiting thoughts create more self-limiting thoughts, holding you back even more. But the good news is that developing the ability to control your thoughts creates a positive cycle that reinforces beneficial patterns and helps you succeed. CK: [03:22] We talk about dev
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    9 Min.
  • How To Be Your Best At Your Worst

    How To Be Your Best At Your Worst
    Jul 7 2021
    Relying on willpower to do hard things to achieve big goals doesn’t work. Learn how developing the grit to be your best at your worst makes it easier to do everything, all the time. Need advice about something? Ask us here: ForcesOfEqual.com/Advice/ Transcript Pam: [00:00] Before we get started, just a warning: I swear in this episode. Sorry, mom. [00:06] You’re listening to Not Bad Advice, where our goal is to offer perspective that helps you improve one aspect of your life at a time. [00:17] I’m Pamela Lund. CK: [00:21] And I’m CK Chung. Pam: [00:26] And we hope that after listening you’ll think, “Hey, that’s not bad advice!” [00:31] Willpower is bullshit. Recent research has confirmed that the way we think about motivation and willpower is completely wrong. You don’t wake up in the morning with a tank full of willpower, and you don’t inherently have more or less willpower than anyone else. You may have more or less energy on a given day, but willpower is not something that you have, or don’t have. [01:09] Willpower is actually grit. And as we’ve talked about in the last three episodes, you can train yourself to have more grit. I love this perspective because relying on willpower makes it seem like you’re helpless and at the mercy of this mythical superpower that successful people have. But training your level of grit puts you back in control. CK: [01:36] So far, we’ve discussed three of the six types of grit that human performance expert Steven Kotler says you need to perform at your highest level. The three we’ve covered are: the grit to recover, the grit to master your fears, and the grit to train your weakness. [01:55] Those three types of grit are necessary to make sure that you can do the things you want to do. The remaining three types of grit are what are needed to make sure you do do the things you want to do. And they all enhance what we think of as Willpower. [02:10] Willpower’s basic definition is, “control exerted to do something, or to restrain impulses. It’s also what we think of as the thing that allows people to do hard things or things they might not want to do, but know they should, like exercising or eating right. [02:29] And lack of willpower gets blamed when people don’t achieve their goals. For example, if you want to write a book, but don’t write every day, you might blame a lack of willpower for why you don’t write. But, as Pam said, pointing the finger at willpower takes away your control in the situation. Pam: [02:46] Right. And when you’re not in control of your actions, you feel helpless, but you’ll also feel like a loser because we’ve made willpower a virtue. We shame people who don’t appear to have it. [02:59] But the reality is we’ve all just had different levels of grit training so far, which means you can take small steps every day to get more of what we call willpower. And the more so-called willpower that you have, the easier it will be to achieve your big goals. And honestly, the easier life in general becomes because it will be easier to just do the things that have to get done rather than procrastinating or ignoring them until it’s too late. [03:29] Steven Kotler calls
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    7 Min.
  • How To Train Your Weaknesses

    How To Train Your Weaknesses
    Jun 30 2021
    We’ve all got things we’re not good at. Identifying the ones you should care about, letting go of the ones that don’t matter, and getting better at the ones that do is the secret to big breakthroughs. Need advice about something? Ask us here: ForcesOfEqual.com/Advice/ Transcript Pam: [00:06] Pam: [00:00] You’re listening to Not Bad Advice, where our goal is to offer perspective that helps you improve one aspect of your life at a time. [00:13] I’m Pamela Lund. CK: [00:20] And I’m CK Chung. Pam: [00:22] And we hope that after listening you’ll think, “Hey, that’s not bad advice!” [00:32] This week, we’re continuing our series on developing grit, inspired by the work of Angela Duckworth and Steven Kotler. So far, we’ve discussed the grit to recover – aka why naps are necessary – and the grit to master your fears. [00:54] These two types of grit are pretty easy to understand. You have to actively and mindfully recover, so you [01:00] have the energy to do what it takes to achieve your goals. And you have to be able to do things that scare you, if you’re going to break out of your comfort zone. Simple enough. [01:10] The type of grit we’re going to cover today is more nuanced. This is the grit to train your weaknesses. In his talks on the subject, Steven Kotler invokes a version of the quote, “We don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training,” to support why we need to develop the grit to train our weaknesses. [01:33] He says that you’re only as strong as your weakest point. So you can get to a certain level of success by leaning into your strengths. But once you try to do more, your weaknesses will hold you back. [01:46] Not everyone agrees with Kotler. When you discuss the idea of training your weaknesses, people will generally have one of two opinions. One side will say that you’re already good at the things you’re good at, so you should put more effort into training up what you aren’t good at. [02:02] The other side will say that you shouldn’t put effort into training things you’re not good at. They’ll say you should double down on things you are good at instead, because enhancing your strengths will compensate for your weaknesses. [02:16] I think both perspectives are right, depending on the type of weaknesses you’re talking about. And this is where the nuance comes in. The type of weaknesses that you want to train up are things that you have to do to achieve your goals. CK: [02:32] Examples of the types of weaknesses you may need to train to achieve your goals are things like public speaking, being comfortable on camera, being a good listener, communicating your ideas clearly, patience, staying calm under pressure, and saying no. [02:50] You don’t need to do your own bookkeeping, video editing, graphic design work, or website maintenance to be successful. Unless you enjoy doing those things, there’s no reason that you personally need to become skilled at anything that can be outsourced without negatively impacting the area. Especially if you don’t enjoy doing it.
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    9 Min.
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