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Big life changes have a way of exposing what we value most. As we prepare to sell our home and head into the city, I found myself leaning on a simple, sturdy framework to keep conversations clear and compassionate: five core needs that shape almost every choice we make—safety and security, belonging, achievement, joy, and freedom.

I walk through each need in plain language and show how it plays out in real decisions. Safety looks like planning and risk control; belonging sounds like peacemaking and connection; achievement wants progress and visible results; joy seeks grounded delight in everyday moments; freedom prioritizes choice, autonomy, and space. Each need offers a strength and carries a shadow. When we understand the driver beneath a behavior, we stop arguing about the surface issue and start solving for what really matters.

I share practical ways to spot needs at work, translate puzzling behavior into clear motivation, and make offers that meet people where they are: build the plan for safety, create regular touchpoints for belonging, hand off ownership for achievement, design small rituals for joy, and keep options open for freedom. By naming your top two needs and recognizing those of the people around you, you create a shared language that lowers defensiveness, reduces conflict, and invites real collaboration.

If this lens helps you navigate your next hard conversation or big decision, share the episode with a friend who could use it. Subscribe for more thoughtful minis, leave a quick review to help others find the show, and tell me: which two needs drive you most right now?

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

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What if healing isn’t something you finish, but a way you move while you’re still hurting? That question anchors our conversation with author, speaker, and coach Laura Bratton, who was diagnosed at nine with a rare retinal disease and lost her vision over her teen years. The timeline was uncertain, the grief relentless, and the pressure to “stay positive” intense. Laura shares how permission to grieve—given by a college counselor—reframed everything: you can mourn a non-death loss and still take the next step forward.

We unpack a more human definition of grit: not grinning and bearing it, but feeling the panic, naming the anger, and choosing meaningful action anyway. Laura explains how gratitude became an empowerment tool when a mentor challenged her to notice the supports that helped her get through hard days. Not gratitude for the adversity, but gratitude for what carries you through it—parents who coach presence, teachers who adapt, friends who stay. Some days the only honest gratitude is that the day is over. That counts.

Laura also talks about building the muscle of self-advocacy. When Princeton admitted her to a master’s program and asked her to define her needs, she learned to state requirements clearly, explain why they matter, and accept that she can’t control others’ responses. We explore the role of humor—found later through community—as a gentle way to hold both joy and pain. Along the way, you’ll hear practical tools to navigate change: validate your feelings, ask for help without shame, reframe what you can, and take one more step forward.

If you’re facing a diagnosis, divorce, job loss, or any season of uncertainty, this story offers grounded hope and usable practices. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find conversations that honor both the hurt and the courage it takes to keep going.

You can find Laura at https://www.laurabratton.com/

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!

Ever told yourself “just do the thing” while doomscrolling and calling it laziness? We go beneath that loop to decode how ADHD shows up in women: inattentive traits, time blindness, “out of sight, out of mind,” and the quiet ways socialization teaches us to mask chaos until it becomes shame. Licensed therapist Mary Rothwell sits down with ADHD life coach and educator Jorie Houlihan, who was diagnosed at 49, to map the territory from dismissal to validation and the skills that make daily life work.

Jorie explains the brain basics—dopamine, norepinephrine, and why frontal lobe filtering misfires—then connects them to real life: forgetting people you love when they’re not in view, struggling to prioritize when everything feels equally urgent, and losing hours to task avoidance even while your inner monologue begs you to start. We break down the overlap with anxiety and depression, how untreated ADHD fuels both, and why hormones matter: cycle shifts and perimenopause can tank dopamine and intensify symptoms. The conversation also tackles emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity, naming why women internalize criticism and how language reduces shame.

Medication can be transformative, but “pills don’t teach skills.” Jorie offers practical systems: externalizing thoughts, identifying the next micro-step before a break, using visual timers, guarding against novelty burnout, and choosing priorities by consequences and dependencies. We talk about relationships too—how partners can mistake ADHD for indifference, why education helps, and the relief that comes when everyone has a shared map. If you’re wondering where to start, we outline assessment options, therapy for grief and self-talk, and coaching to build daily guardrails that stick.

You’re not lazy or broken. You’re learning a new manual for a powerful operating system you’ve had all along. Listen, save your favorite tools, and share this with someone who needs a clearer picture of women’s ADHD. If the episode helped, follow the show or leave a review!

You can find Jorie at https://joriehoulihan.com/

Support the show

Sign up for the launch team for my book, Nature Knows, and get free insider news and surprises at https://maryrothwell.net/natureknows

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!