As a species, we humans traditionally do not handle paradoxical tensions well. Whether in the individual human soul or in relationship to each other, our failure to understand the wisdom of certain tensions and learn how to balance them well inevitably leads to war. History bears all the scars of our repeated cycles of war and peace (or breaks from war). We live in a moment of history where unbridled power, cruelty, dehumanization, and a collective insanity are exerting themselves in a way that is overwhelming, violent, deadly, callous, and indifferent. In this episode I explore the aspects of power and eros, what each of them has to offer us, and why these two energies are diametrically opposed to each other.

Philosophers, theologians, and storytellers alike have been grappling with the phenomenon of the 'Self' since time immemorial, trying to describe what it is and what it is not. We all experience the paradoxical sensations of both separateness and unity. The Tale of the Half-Man is an exploration into what happens when part of a unified whole chooses to separate itself and make itself a distinction. In the case of this story, taken out of a chapter of my book, "The Fire That Never Dies: Dragons of the West," and retold here; it is envisioned within the context of a paradoxical tension between the archetypal energies of the "Divine Femine" and "Divine Masculine," and how the tension between the two offers us many choices on what to do with it, and the implications of those choices.

In this final chapter of my religious deconstruction journey, I talk about how my relationship with the faith and religion of my past looks and feels today, particularly in the context of tumultuous social and political upheaval in the United States. I acknowledge both the gifts I have received from the faith and religious community of my past, as well as a continued and growing anger and frustration in the face of the rising popularity of Christian Nationalism. I also express my raw and candid thoughts about the institutions that have seeded and nurtured the obsession to replace liberal democracy with religious theocracy and oligarchy, such as the Religious Right and the Moral Majority in America. Originating in the early 70's, they have together formed a religious/political super PAC, and have been the vehicle for neo-conservative think tanks such as Focus On the Family and the Heritage Foundation, the group responsible for the drafting of the "Project 2025" document/manifesto.

As my religious deconstruction story continues, I come full circle to the memory of my father, David, where nearly 20 years after his death I find an opportunity for inner reconciliation and peace. With the help of a good friend to walk me through a healing ceremony out in the wild deserts of Southern California, I find forgiveness, healing, redemption, and release. This episode concludes with a song...the only song I have ever written about my father directly. It walks through all the complex emotions I've had in relationship to him over the years. The children's voices at the end of the song are my own lovely children, recorded when they were much younger than they are today!

In this episode I recount the years where I was getting ready to graduate from college but having little to no direction as to where to go in life and what to do next. A serendipitous chain of events in my senior year of college opened the door to an unexpected pathway which led me to go to graduate school where I studied to become a therapist. This proved to be a frutiful time of personal, spiritual, and educational enlightenment and renaissance for me, and I still recount those years as some of the most fulfilling and illuminating of my life to date. In this period, new questions were appearing to me I had not yet considered, but were compelling for me to follow and unpack. Many discoveries I made during this time contributed to my ongoing journey of deconstruction in ways I had not yet anticipated.

In this episode my story resumes around my early college years and the particular struggles I was having and developing around that time. Having covertly lost my faith in the church of my upbringing and my larger faith in God beginning to erode rapidly, I set out to look for answers and the truth beyond the familiar confines of my religious community; outside the borders of its theological tenets, assumptions, and presumptions. Giving myself the gift of this freedom did come with a cost. I had left my community and its various safety nets behind. This episode concludes with a prophetic dream I had that helped me to open the doors to my own sense of self-efficacy and confidence in ways I had previously been unable to develop.

Religious deconstruction is a path of transition, like so many other transitions that all of us go through in life. It has the components of loss, crisis, confusion, grief, and anger. It also includes catharsis, wisdom, joy, anticipation, and the opportunity for new life to arise out of the ashes of an old one. My deconstruction journey begins for me at the age of 10, when our family learned that my father was diagnosed with cancer and ends in the middle of my high school years, particularly at the age of 16, when my father lost his battle with cancer, and everything that occurred in the aftermath of that.

Laura Lewis-Barr is an award-winning screenwriter, stop-motion filmmaker, and educator. Laura writes comedy features. As a filmmaker Laura's focus is on animating fairy tales and mythic stories that explore personal and collective transformation. She is inspired by the work of Joseph Campbell, Carl Jung, Jack Zipes, and Marie-Louise von Franz. Laura creates her short films in the basement of her house in Chicago, IL, where she resides.