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What if the highest form of leadership is love—and the clearest proof of love is accountability? We sit down with retired U.S. Coast Guard commander and culture-change consultant Patti Tutalo to dig into the mechanics of humane leadership that actually improves readiness. Patty shares hard-won insights from operations, Pentagon policy, and a landmark women’s retention study that revealed a painful truth: people don’t leave because of one bad day; they leave after a thousand small cuts. From hair and nail rules used as weapons to leaders rewarded for numbers while neglecting their teams, she maps how systems quietly push talent out—and how to fix them.

We unpack why “accountability is love” isn’t a slogan but a strategy. Clear standards create safety. Early, fair correction prevents bigger harm. Consistency across ranks rebuilds trust shattered by insider protection and rationalizations like “he’s a good guy.” Patti walks us through Operation Fouled Anchor, the Coast Guard Academy investigation that exposed systemic failures, and connects it to a broader leadership crisis: courage collapses when friendship outranks integrity. Her takeaway is blunt and hopeful—build structures that make the right thing the easy thing, and people will thrive.

Patti also opens a window into her consulting practice across male-dominated sectors, where she helps teams redesign policy, feedback, and training to align performance with human dignity. We explore the loneliness epidemic, why retreats and real community boost innovation, and how rethinking masculinity and overwork can unstick teams without lowering standards. The result is a practical playbook: eliminate ambiguous rules that invite bias; measure leaders on how they treat people; coach feedback that blends clarity with care; and create spaces where armor can come off so trust can grow.

If you believe culture is a “soft” issue, prepare to be challenged. If you’ve been craving a way to lead with both heart and backbone, this conversation offers a path forward. Listen, share with a leader who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Reach out to Patti at: https://tutaloconsultants.com/.

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Help Moral Injury Support Network for Servicewomen, Inc. provide the support it needs to women veterans by donating to our cause at: https://misns.org/donation or send a check or money order to Moral Injury Support Network, 136 Sunset Drive, Robbins, NC 27325. Every amount helps and we are so grateful for your loving support. Thanks!

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What happens when “service before self” collides with the limits of a human soul? We sit down with veteran, board-certified psychotherapist, and spiritual transformation coach Malaysia Harrell to unpack moral injury, the stigma around getting help, and why healing takes more than motivation. Malaysia’s path runs from the Air Force and the U.S. Public Health Service to senior roles in addiction medicine and presidential support, giving her a rare view of how policy, culture, and people intersect. She shares unflinching stories from deployments and the Afghanistan withdrawal, where lawful actions still left deep ethical scars—and where guilt weighed on those who deployed and those who never could.

Malaysia also opens up about her near-death experience with sepsis after returning from leading mental health support on the Navajo Nation during COVID. The missed diagnosis, the reflex to route her to psychiatry, and the slow recognition of acute infection reveal how systems can fail the very people they’re meant to protect. Together we talk about clearances, “fit for duty” decisions, and the truth that high-functioning PTSD is real. The takeaway is pragmatic and hopeful: trust can be rebuilt when pathways are trauma-informed, family is integrated into care, and leaders advocate for their people.

We shift from policy to practice with strategies employers can use right now: veteran-centric EAPs, embedded virtual counseling, flexible responses to triggers, and training managers to recognize distress without stigma. Malaysia’s coaching work with high-achieving women exposes another hidden battlefield—public success masking private pain. She guides clients to align with their gifts, set boundaries, and build careers that restore rather than drain, blending clinical skill with spiritual clarity so progress sticks.

If you’ve wrestled with questions like “Was it worth it?” or you’ve struggled to ask for help without risking your future, this conversation offers tools, language, and a path forward. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the moment that shifted your perspective—what support would have helped you most?

You can find Malaysia on these social media sites:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/malaysiahharrell?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/15YFYAy18u/?mibextid=LQQJ4d
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/malaysia-h-harrell-a322b19b?utm_source=share&utm_c

Support the show

Help Moral Injury Support Network for Servicewomen, Inc. provide the support it needs to women veterans by donating to our cause at: https://misns.org/donation or send a check or money order to Moral Injury Support Network, 136 Sunset Drive, Robbins, NC 27325. Every amount helps and we are so grateful for your loving support. Thanks!

Follow us on your favorite social channels: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/moral-injury-support-network-for-servicewomen/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.danielroberts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misnsconsult/

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A Friday shift, a crowded Walmart, a woman advancing with a hatchet—then two shots that changed countless lives. Captain Adam Myers walks us through that moment with uncommon clarity, and then opens the door to what most people never see: the months and years of fallout, the moral injury that lingers even when policy is followed, and the stigma that punishes honesty more than failure. It’s a story about survival, but also about systems that make survival harder than it should be.

We talk about cumulative stress in policing and how it mirrors the tempo of military life: long stretches of routine spiking into chaos with no time to reset. Adam shares the raw aftermath—hate mail, social media judgment, and the quiet erosion that led to numbing with alcohol, casual sex, and drugs. He speaks candidly about faith: walking into a church the day after the shooting, drifting for years, and later rebuilding a spiritual life sturdy enough to hold the weight of grief and responsibility.

The conversation turns practical and urgent. We dig into peer support, therapy, EMDR, biofeedback, and medication as tools that keep first responders safe, grounded, and employable. We examine real institutional barriers—fitness-for-duty evaluations, privacy fears, and career consequences—that make many hide their pain. Adam’s own termination while improving in treatment becomes a case study and a call to rethink policy. There’s hope here too: a move to a new department, leaders who champion transparency, Mental Health Mondays that normalize care, and a mission—Stop the Threat, Stop the Stigma—that invites officers and civilians to speak openly and get help.

If you care about law enforcement wellness, moral injury, PTSD, or building systems that actually support recovery, this is a must-listen. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your takeaway so we can keep this conversation moving.

Adam is the Founder of Stop The Threat - Stop The Stigma. Adam says his overall goal for establishing Stop The Threat – Stop The Stigma and speaking about his critical incident is to promote Law Enforcement Wellness and inspire other Law Enforcement Professionals, and those who work in the law enforcement profession, to speak about their own mental health.

Support the show

Help Moral Injury Support Network for Servicewomen, Inc. provide the support it needs to women veterans by donating to our cause at: https://misns.org/donation or send a check or money order to Moral Injury Support Network, 136 Sunset Drive, Robbins, NC 27325. Every amount helps and we are so grateful for your loving support. Thanks!

Follow us on your favorite social channels: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/moral-injury-support-network-for-servicewomen/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.danielroberts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misnsconsult/