Fear and anxiety used to run my life, and in this episode I share what changed when I stopped resisting them and started meeting them with love.

It took me a long time to find this month's topic. After a week of cards telling me to wait, I finally did a journeying ritual to the Morrigan's cave, Oweynagat, and she asked me one question: "What do you do when you're scared?" I tell you what happened down there and the teachings that came through.

In this episode:

• Why the part of you that's afraid is trying to protect you
• How resistance prolongs panic and anxiety attacks
• What fear can show you about your values and what you're willing to fight for
• The Lovers and The Devil as two ways of relating to the same experience
• The steps I use to soothe my nervous system and then get curious about the part of me that's scared

If your fear is disrupting your life, I also talk about why a therapist who specializes in anxiety and trauma-informed care can help.

This one is for you if you're feeling the call to descend this Samhain season and you're ready to stop fighting your own fear.

I've always thought of myself as a direct person. Turns out I've been avoiding conflict my whole life without knowing it — I just called it something else.

This episode is about the month that cracked that pattern open. A friendship I'd been avoiding for eight months. A budding connection I had to walk back with honesty instead of ghosting. A moment with my husband where I caught myself being passive-aggressive in real time and finally understood why. All of it traces back to my mom, to the role I played in my family growing up, and to a transit through my 8th house that dragged the whole thing into the light.

I'm telling you what it felt like to finally see the pattern, name it, and do something different — even when it was terrifying.

You've done the healing work. You have people who love you, a life that actually fits you, moments of real joy — and there's still this quiet, background sadness that won't fully go away. This episode is about that specific ache: existential loneliness, the grief of being a separate consciousness that can never be completely known by anyone else, no matter how close you get.

I talk through my own experience of this feeling showing up even after years of therapy and a life I genuinely love, what it has to do with the current Saturn transit through Pisces (I'm a Vedic/sidereal astrologer), my own chart placements — exalted Venus in Pisces and Rahu in the first — and where I'm landing on how to work with this ache rather than trying to fix it: through devotion, creativity, and practicing what Robert Johnson called "fidelity to the moment."

If this is something you feel too, I'd love to hear about it in the comments.