In this conversation, Stacie Spiler discusses the profound effects of trauma and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on the brain and behavior. She shares her personal journey from experiencing abuse to healing, outlining five concrete steps she took to recover. Stacie emphasizes the importance of understanding the impact of personality disorders, the role of relationships in healing, and the necessity of taking radical responsibility for one's actions. She also highlights the significance of intentional solitude for integration and finding wholeness after trauma.

Watch on youtube here

takeaways

• Trauma reshapes how individuals react and attach to others.
• Survival responses can lead to destructive behaviors.
• Healing is a long process that requires responsibility.
• Understanding the brain's response to trauma is crucial for healing.
• Relationships can be both a wound and a source of healing.
• Medication can provide temporary support but is not a solution.
• Intentional solitude is necessary for true integration.
• Healing allows individuals to reclaim their lives and identities.
• Patterns of behavior can be unlearned with time and effort.
• The journey of healing is about living intentionally and responsibly.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Trauma and Its Lasting Effects

09:55 The Impact of Personality Disorders on the Brain

20:05 Steps to Healing from BPD and CPDSD

27:20 The Role of Relationships in Healing

This Is Why So Many People Quit Their Dreams — not because the dream is wrong, but because the climb demands more of you than anyone tells you.

In this video, I explore the part of growth that rarely gets spoken about: the internal resistance that shows up when you move toward something that actually matters. Not loud fear or doubt, but quiet hesitation, self-sabotage, and the urge to pull back just as things start to change.

Drawing on ideas from The War of Art and lived experience, this conversation looks at why pursuing your dream can feel destabilising, why pushing harder often makes it worse, and what this phase is really asking of you on an identity and nervous system level.

This isn’t motivation, and it isn’t about quitting.

It’s about understanding the cost of becoming someone new — and why feeling this way doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

If you’re in the middle of the climb and questioning yourself, this video is for you.

Watch on: https://youtu.be/vj3-6wBB_L8

What if the deepest grief of your life doesn’t arrive when the trauma happens—but decades later, when survival is no longer required?

In this episode, Learning the Hardest Path to Walk Leads Straight Back to Me, I share a rarely spoken stage of healing: the grief that surfaced at forty-three, more than twenty years after the original trauma. Not as sadness or despair, but as the collapse of identity, meaning, and every narrative I had used to survive.

I speak openly about grieving what never was—the childhood that couldn’t form safely, the parents who couldn’t show up, and the hope that one day connection or understanding would arrive and make it all make sense. We explore how trauma narratives aren’t erased by insight, but written over, waiting for safety to be felt in the body.

This episode challenges familiar ideas like “everything happens for a reason,” examines responsibility without shame, and names the dark night of the soul as the dismantling of survival identity rather than pathology.

This is a conversation about the hardest path to walk—letting go of meaning, external repair, and familiar suffering—and how that path leads back to self, not as an idea or destination, but as presence.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Cyclical Relationships

10:27 Separation: Healing vs. Hurting

20:35 The Role of Relapse in Growth

28:46 Transformative Potential of Cyclical Relationships

Summary

This conversation explores cyclical relationships, characterised by patterns of breaking up and reuniting. It delves into the psychological and relational dynamics that contribute to these cycles, emphasising the importance of understanding attachment styles and the role of trauma. The discussion highlights the difference between healing and harmful separations, the significance of relapse as a part of the growth process, and the necessity of integrating insights gained during separation back into the relationship. Ultimately, it advocates for a compassionate and curious approach to understanding these complex dynamics, viewing them as opportunities for personal and relational transformation.

https://staciespiler.com

Are “twin flames” really divine soulmates… or just trauma bonds disguised as love?In this video, I unpack the truth behind the intense highs and lows, obsession, and pull-push dynamics that the twin flame narrative romanticises. Using psychology, attachment theory, and real-life experience, we break down why this concept can keep you stuck, chasing, and self-blaming — and how to reclaim your energy and clarity. I’m Stacie — a Psychotherapist, Mindset Coach, and Manifesting Generator — and I guide you to turn trauma loops into aligned, empowered living. You’ll learn: Why “fated intensity” is often a trauma bond, not destinyHow your nervous system gets hijacked by chaos disguised as loveThe mirror effect and why it’s not mystical — it’s psychologicalHow to step out of the runner-chaser cycle and reclaim your powerWhat real, grounded love actually looks like✨ If you’re tired of confusing chaos for connection, it’s time to wake up and design love from truth. https://staciespiler.com

Discover the life-changing power of Human Design in this episode as Stacie unpacks your unique energy blueprint. Learn how your type, authority, and profile shape the way you make decisions, interact with the world, and experience flow.

We explore why so many of us feel out of place, frustrated, or unable to fit the mould — and how understanding your design can reveal that you are not broken, your energy is unique, and your timing is perfect.

Stacie also introduces deconditioning, the process of shedding societal expectations and reconnecting with your natural energy, giving you practical tools to start aligning your choices, creativity, and life with your authentic self.

Whether you’re new to Human Design or curious about how to live fully in alignment, this episode will help you understand your energy, stop comparing yourself to others, and step into your highest potential.

Get your FREE human design blueprint here: https://ahumandesign.com/

In this powerful and intimate episode, Stacie explores the deeper truth behind manifestation, that real change isn’t about chasing desires, but about embodying a new identity. She unpacks the energetic, psychological, and spiritual layers of identity work, showing how our self-concept quietly dictates what’s possible for us.

With vulnerability and grace, Stacie opens up about her own lived experiences — including the pain, anger, and even moments of suicidal ideation that surfaced while trying to manifest financial freedom. She shares how these moments of darkness can be part of a deeper initiation, an energetic death of the old self and how surrendering to that process can create space for divine abundance to flow.

This conversation offers no quick fixes or surface-level affirmations. Instead, it invites listeners to trust the sacred timing of their becoming, to honour the discomfort that arises during transformation, and to remember that even when life feels unbearable, you are not broken, you are becoming.

Takeaways

Manifestation and identity shifts are interconnected but distinct processes.

True change occurs when one's self-concept aligns with desired outcomes.

Effortless shifts often happen when internal beliefs match external realities.

Trauma can create subconscious blocks that hinder manifestation.

Surrendering control can lead to deeper peace and acceptance.

Self-worth is not tied to external achievements or financial success.

The universe reflects our true beliefs, not just our spoken affirmations.

Spiritual alignment plays a crucial role in the timing of identity shifts.

Exploring resistance can reveal deeper beliefs that need to be addressed.

Transformation involves both internal and external changes, requiring patience and trust.

Titles

Manifestation vs. Identity: The Key to Transformation

Unlocking Change: The Power of Identity Shifts

Chapters

00:00 Manifestation vs. Identity Shift

04:46 The Power of Identity in Change

09:41 Understanding Delayed Manifestation

14:07 The Role of Trauma and Self-Concept

18:48 Surrendering to Divine Timing

23:16 Exploring Spiritual Alignment

28:16 The Energetic Layers of Identity Work

32:59 Integrating Reflection and Action

🔗 Links:

🌐 Website: ⁠https://staciespiler.com⁠

👉 FREE Mindset https://staciespiler.com/#mini-mindset-by-design-workshop

Are you truly calm, or just numb? In this episode, we explore functional freeze — the silent emotional shutdown that masquerades as independence, low libido, or emotional maturity. Learn how to recognise the subtle ways your nervous system protects you from vulnerability, and how these patterns affect your relationships, intimacy, and sense of joy. Discover practical steps to safely ‘thaw’ and reconnect with your body, emotions, and aliveness. Whether you struggle with attachment, past trauma, or just feel disconnected from yourself, this episode helps you understand the difference between surviving and truly living. Start noticing your emotional waves, reclaiming your nervous system, and stepping into deeper connection and presence today.

https://staciespiler.com/

https://www.youtube.com/@Mindset_By_Design

https://staciespiler.com/blog#mindset-workbook

https://staciespiler.com/#mini-mindset-by-design-workshop