From a young age, many of us are taught directly or indirectly that pain is something to avoid. If it hurts, stop.

In this episode of Merle’s Pearls of Relationship Wisdom, Merle explores how her early conviction that pain should never exist shaped her decisions and limited her growth. From quitting piano lessons to avoiding new challenges, she shares how her philosophy began to shift as she witnessed marathon runners collapsing at finish lines, Olympians pushing beyond their limits, and experienced natural childbirth herself.

What she discovered changed everything:

Pain is not a moral failure.
It’s not a badge of honor.
It’s feedback.

Growth requires nuance. Some pain is a warning sign like touching a hot stove. Other discomfort is the stretch that builds strength, resilience, and accomplishment.

The wisdom is not in avoiding pain altogether.
The wisdom is in knowing when to stop and when to take one more step.

• Not all discomfort is harmful some of it is necessary for growth
• Pain can serve as information rather than punishment
• Avoiding discomfort can quietly limit your potential
• There is a crucial difference between destructive suffering and productive stretching
• Nuance not black-and-white thinking leads to emotional maturity

By the end of this episode, you will:

✓ Begin reframing discomfort as valuable information✓ Gain clarity around when to pull back and when to lean in✓ Feel more empowered to pursue growth without self-criticism✓ Develop a healthier relationship with challenge in your marriage, goals, and personal life

About the Podcast

Merle’s Pearls of Relationship Wisdom explores the subtle dynamics that shape our relationships — from marriage and family to the inner dialogue we have with ourselves. With warmth, humor, and decades of experience, Merle unpacks the everyday patterns that impact connection, conflict, and growth. Each episode offers grounded, practical insight that helps you respond more consciously and live with greater clarity.

About Merle

Merle, known as The Relationship Miracle Worker, is a seasoned relationship expert with decades of experience helping couples and individuals move from frustration and confusion to deeper understanding and connection.

Her approach blends psychological insight, lived experience, and compassionate directness. She believes that healthy relationships aren’t about perfection they’re about awareness, nuance, and willingness to grow. Through her teaching, coaching, and podcast, Merle empowers people to stop reacting from old patterns and start responding with wisdom.

In Part 2 of this deeply moving conversation, Merle continues her dialogue with returning guest Suhein Beck, exploring how a single honest exchange can redirect the way we see ourselves, our relationships, and the meaning of our lives.

Together, they reflect on grief, identity, aging, and the quiet power of being truly seen. What begins as a spontaneous, emotionally charged moment between two people becomes a powerful reminder: we are shaped not only by life’s big milestones, but by small, sincere interactions that affirm who we are at our core.

This episode invites listeners to consider the weight of their words, the impact of authentic connection, and the importance of not losing yourself—even as you navigate loss, change, or transition. It’s a conversation about legacy, perspective, and how the simplest moments can carry lifelong meaning.

About the Podcast
Merle’s Pearls of Relationship Wisdom explores how relationships—romantic, professional, and personal—shape every part of our lives. Drawing on decades of experience, Merle offers insight, compassion, and practical wisdom to help you navigate connection, communication, and change with intention and heart.

In this powerful, wide-ranging conversation, Merle sits down with returning guest Suhein Beck to trace the extraordinary arc of her life—from being a Circassian exile from the North Caucasus, to a Syrian refugee, to facing racism and gang terror in America. Suhein shares what it means to live between cultures, how language became both a bridge and a form of survival, and why true understanding can begin with something as simple (and profound) as a one-on-one connection.

Together, Merle and Suhein explore identity, belonging, courage, and the real cost of starting over—again and again. This episode is a reminder that our stories are shaped not only by what we endure, but by the relationships that help us reclaim our voice.

About the podcast: Merle’s Pearls of Wisdom is where Merle Singer—The Relationship Miracle Worker—shares grounded insights on relationships and how they impact every part of life. Merle is bringing the show back with intention, and plans to feature more guest conversations in upcoming episodes—real stories, real connection, and pearls of wisdom you can carry with you.

(Part 2 continues the conversation with Suhein with a deeper focus on grief, legacy, and “not losing yourself as you lose others.”)