From a young age, many of us are taught directly or indirectly that pain is something to avoid. If it hurts, stop.

In this episode of Merle’s Pearls of Relationship Wisdom, Merle explores how her early conviction that pain should never exist shaped her decisions and limited her growth. From quitting piano lessons to avoiding new challenges, she shares how her philosophy began to shift as she witnessed marathon runners collapsing at finish lines, Olympians pushing beyond their limits, and experienced natural childbirth herself.

What she discovered changed everything:

Pain is not a moral failure.
It’s not a badge of honor.
It’s feedback.

Growth requires nuance. Some pain is a warning sign like touching a hot stove. Other discomfort is the stretch that builds strength, resilience, and accomplishment.

The wisdom is not in avoiding pain altogether.
The wisdom is in knowing when to stop and when to take one more step.

• Not all discomfort is harmful some of it is necessary for growth
• Pain can serve as information rather than punishment
• Avoiding discomfort can quietly limit your potential
• There is a crucial difference between destructive suffering and productive stretching
• Nuance not black-and-white thinking leads to emotional maturity

By the end of this episode, you will:

✓ Begin reframing discomfort as valuable information✓ Gain clarity around when to pull back and when to lean in✓ Feel more empowered to pursue growth without self-criticism✓ Develop a healthier relationship with challenge in your marriage, goals, and personal life

About the Podcast

Merle’s Pearls of Relationship Wisdom explores the subtle dynamics that shape our relationships — from marriage and family to the inner dialogue we have with ourselves. With warmth, humor, and decades of experience, Merle unpacks the everyday patterns that impact connection, conflict, and growth. Each episode offers grounded, practical insight that helps you respond more consciously and live with greater clarity.

About Merle

Merle, known as The Relationship Miracle Worker, is a seasoned relationship expert with decades of experience helping couples and individuals move from frustration and confusion to deeper understanding and connection.

Her approach blends psychological insight, lived experience, and compassionate directness. She believes that healthy relationships aren’t about perfection they’re about awareness, nuance, and willingness to grow. Through her teaching, coaching, and podcast, Merle empowers people to stop reacting from old patterns and start responding with wisdom.