What if you didn’t end the year with a big goal — but with clarity?

In this quiet bonus episode closing out Season 5 of Medium Lady Talks, Erin shares a personal year-in-review reflection inspired by Laura Tremaine’s 10 Questions for the End of the Year. Rather than offering resolutions or strategies, this episode explores what happens when we stop waiting for permission, external validation, or the “right time” to move forward.

Erin reflects on her word for 2026 and what it means to live from inner authority instead of urgency. She unpacks three gentle but powerful realizations from the past year: why rescuing isn’t leadership, why depth matters more than speed, and why self-trust can be more radical than having a plan.

This episode is for anyone ending the year without a bold intention — and feeling oddly okay about it.

If you’re craving permission to slow down, listen inward, and trust yourself before chasing the next strategy, this conversation is for you.

• What Erin chose as her word for 2026 — and what it actually means for her year ahead.

• The hidden cost of being the rescuer at work, in family life, and in relationships

• Choosing depth and rest without abandoning ambition

• Letting go of urgency, perfectionism, and incomplete projects without self-judgment

• Why self-trust can be more grounding than goal-setting

• A compassionate reframe for listeners who feel unsure about what’s next

“I realized I’ve been waiting for something that doesn’t exist — permission, legitimacy, or other people catching up.”

“Rescuing isn’t leadership. Rising up without abandoning myself is.”

“I didn’t end this year with a strategy. I ended it with self-trust — and that feels more radical.”

“You’re not behind. You might just be listening to yourself on a new level.”

• Burnt-out women and millennial mothers navigating ambition and rest

• Listeners who feel pressure to set goals but crave something quieter

• Anyone tired of hustle culture and performative self-improvement

• Leaders, caregivers, and creatives who are ready to stop waiting for permission

• Laura Tremaine’s 10 Questions for the End of the Year reflection practice

• The Summer of Real Rest theme and its lasting impact

• The idea of “negotiating the timeline, not the result”

If something resonated:

• Sit with a word that stood out to you

• Notice where you’re done rushing or rescuing

• Ask yourself where you might trust yourself a little sooner

There’s no homework here — just space.

Follow along on Instagram for more reflections, bookish content, and gentle encouragement: @medium.lady

If this episode spoke to you, screenshot it and share it — and tag Erin so you can continue the conversation.

What happens when being “strong” stops working?

In this deeply affirming and practical conversation, Erin is joined by Dr. Nikia Smith — practicing anesthesiologist, wellness coach, and founder of She Is Fire Forged — to explore how the Superwoman myth quietly fuels burnout, especially for high-achieving women and women in healthcare.

Together, they unpack how resilience, people-pleasing, and productivity can become liabilities rather than strengths — and why rest is not something to earn, but something to prioritize before everything else.

This episode is for anyone who:

• feels exhausted despite “doing everything right”

• has built a good life but still feels depleted or disconnected

• has been praised for being strong, capable, and reliable — at great personal cost

Dr. Smith explains how being “the strong one” often masks chronic exhaustion, emotional suppression, and self-abandonment — particularly for women of color and women in caregiving professions.

You can love your job, love your life, and still be burned out. Burnout often builds slowly — like a simmer — long before it reaches a breaking point.

Many women struggle to set boundaries because they’re already depleted. Dr. Smith shares why beginning with rest builds the capacity and courage needed to sustain boundaries over time.

Instead of waiting for total collapse, this episode offers language for identifying irritability, restlessness, resentment, and exhaustion before burnout boils over.

Sleep matters — but it’s not the whole picture. Emotional rest, creative rest, social rest, and physical rest all play distinct roles in recovery and sustainability.

Burnout often forces the question: Who am I beyond my roles and titles? This episode explores how dismantling inherited expectations opens space for self-trust and agency.

This conversation challenges the idea that:

• rest must be earned

• productivity defines worth

• success looks the same for everyone

Instead, Erin and Dr. Smith explore how true sustainability often means:

• adding friction at work

• removing friction at home

• offloading invisible labor

• questioning “shoulds” that drain energy without adding meaning

You’ll also hear honest reflections on:

• outsourcing household labor

• redefining success based on values (not aesthetics)

• letting go of guilt around support, rest, and ease

• Burnout is not a personal failure — it’s often the result of social conditioning and moral injury

• You don’t need confidence to make changes; courage is enough

• Rest creates the capacity needed to move from survival to intention

• You are allowed to want a life that feels good, not just one that looks successful

• Strength doesn’t mean doing everything alone

Dr. Nikia Smith is a practicing anesthesiologist, wellness coach, and founder of She Is Fire Forged, a platform supporting high-achieving women of color through burnout recovery, rest, and self-trust.

Through her coaching and content, she helps women:

• identify hidden burnout

• unlearn the need to earn rest

• build sustainable lives rooted in clarity and softness

Connect with Dr. Smith:

• Instagram & TikTok: @sheisfireforged

• Email: @medium.lady Explore more episodes of Medium Lady Talks for grounded conversations about rest, burnout recovery, identity, and sustainable living.

  And remember: Rest is not weakness. It’s a right.

On the winter solstice — the darkest day of the year — Erin closes the Phone Free Fall series with a quiet, honest reflection on presence, capacity, and what it means to actually live inside the life you worked so hard to build.

This episode isn’t about advice, challenges, or optimizing your habits. It’s about noticing. About naming the ways we slip out of our own lives — into scrolling, distraction, and emotional distance — not because our lives are bad, but because they are full.

If you’ve felt restless, overstimulated, or disconnected even while living a life you once dreamed of, this episode offers orientation, not pressure. A reminder that real life isn’t something you get to later — it’s already happening, and you’re allowed to be inside it.

This series was about noticing how often we leave our lives without realizing it — and gently choosing to come back.

Full lives are often heavy to inhabit. Phones offer distance and numbness, but not true restoration.

Even when we rest, our phones can quietly drain the capacity that rest is meant to restore.

Pride, boredom, boredom with scrolling — and then a strange, honest sense of being lost. Not a failure, but a re-entry.

This season invites inwardness, stillness, and tolerance for what feels unfinished or unresolved.

Not discipline. Not restriction. Just noticing when you leave your life — and when you come back.

The solstice doesn’t ask us to improve or shine. It asks us to stay.

Just as the light returns slowly — almost imperceptibly — presence returns minute by minute. With each moment we’re less interrupted. With each moment we choose to be here.

• You’re not escaping your life because it’s bad — you’re escaping because it’s full

• Distance from your phone isn’t the same as restoration, but it can create space for it

• Boredom and quiet are not problems; they’re thresholds

• Your real life isn’t waiting for you to feel better — it’s already happening

• You’re allowed to live inside the life you built, even when it’s imperfect, slow, or overwhelming

• Noticing is the practice

As Erin wraps both Phone Free Fall and Season 5 of Medium Lady Talks, she invites listeners into a winter pause — one that makes room for quiet, reflection, and enoughness.

You don’t need to do this better. You don’t need more discipline. You just need to keep noticing.

• Episode 165: A conversation with physician and coach Dr. Nikia Smith on rest, boundaries, and care that actually sustains us

• Season 6 of Medium Lady Talks returns in February after a January winter hiatus

If this episode resonated, Erin would love to hear from you — especially how Phone Free Fall shifted your awareness, not just your screen time.

Follow along on Instagram: @medium.lady And thank you for choosing to spend your time and attention here — they matter.

You put your phone down. Your screen time went down. And instead of feeling calm or proud… you felt bored. Then scrolling felt boring too. And suddenly, you felt lost.

If that’s been your experience, this episode is for you.

In this Phone Free Fall conversation, Erin explores why setting phone boundaries can bring up unexpected emotions — and why feeling bored, unsettled, or untethered is not a sign you’re failing. It’s a sign that your nervous system is recalibrating.

This episode connects phone boundaries, emotional rest, and seasonal sensory grounding, helping you understand what’s happening in your body and how to stay supported without reaching for your phone again.

Your phone hasn’t just been entertainment — it’s been a tool for emotional regulation. When you reduce screen time, the constant drip of distraction stops, and feelings finally have space to surface.

Boredom isn’t emptiness. It’s a transition point between overstimulation and genuine interest. Feeling bored or “lost” doesn’t mean you need your phone back — it means your brain is adjusting.

Lower stimulation doesn’t instantly feel better. It often feels unfamiliar, quiet, and disorienting. This episode names that gap so you don’t mistake it for failure.

Emotional rest isn’t fixing your feelings, journaling perfectly, or staying positive. It’s letting emotions exist without immediately managing, numbing, or distracting from them.

Erin shares gentle ways to stay regulated when phone boundaries bring up discomfort — including sensory grounding, seasonal rhythms, and body-based cues that don’t require more effort or discipline.

This episode invites you to reconnect with sensory joys of the season as a way to support emotional rest, including:

• warmth, light, and texture

• slow, repetitive tasks (cooking, baking, tidying)

• movement and fresh air

• cozy, low-stakes rituals

• noticing what feels comforting instead of productive

Winter already knows how to slow us down — we don’t need to force calm, just notice it.

• Feeling bored or lost after reducing screen time is normal

• Your phone has been regulating your nervous system — replacing it gently matters

• Emotional rest begins when we stop interrupting ourselves

• You don’t need more discipline — you need more support

• Phone Free Fall isn’t about quitting your phone; it’s about rebuilding tolerance for being with yourself

If this episode helped you make sense of how you’re feeling, consider sharing it with someone navigating phone boundaries too. And if you’re in the middle of Phone Free Fall, Erin would love to hear not just your screen time wins — but how it actually feels.

Follow Erin on Instagram: @medium.lady Join the ongoing Phone Free Fall series and explore what real rest looks like — emotionally, mentally, and digitally.

• Your Brain Is Full: Why You Can’t Put Your Phone Down (and It’s Not Your Fault)

• Who Knew Quitting Would Be This Hard? (Phone Free Fall check-in)

If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t stop picking up your phone, especially in December, this is the episode you need. Erin breaks down the real reason you feel overstimulated, resentful, or stuck in the doomscroll — and spoiler: it’s not a lack of willpower. Your brain is just full.

In this Phone Free Fall episode, Erin explores how emotional labour, holiday chaos, mental load, and constant interruptions shape your relationship with your phone — and what to do when putting it down actually makes your anxiety spike.

If you’re craving validation AND practical tools, this one’s for you.

Erin explains why scrolling becomes an “emotional release valve” when life feels overstimulating.

Holiday interruptions, childcare changes, gift logistics, sensory overload, financial pressure, and emotional labour all combine into a perfect mental-load storm.

Including: – opening apps automatically – feeling buzzy or urgent for no reason – shame about unfinished simple tasks – multitasking even when you don’t need to – craving constant noise – scrolling while physically uncomfortable – feeling brittle, resentful, or tapped out

Silence gets louder, feelings surface, and thoughts crowd in — Erin explains why this is normal and not a sign you're doing anything wrong.

Small, realistic steps for navigating screen time during an emotionally maximalist month.

• Micro-pauses before opening apps

• Opal App (iPhone) for screen time blocking

• Landline Mode and “move the app” techniques

• Slow-drip dopamine: reading, journaling, hobbies, rest

• Medium-effort December as an antidote to holiday burnout

• Letting your brain empty gently, not urgently

“You’re not glued to your phone because you’re weak. You’re glued to your phone because your brain is full.”

“Doomscrolling creates emotional slipperiness — nothing sticks, and that feels like rest.”

“December asks for maximum everything. Of course your brain is over capacity.”

“The person who has a full brain has a full life. You worked hard for this life — don’t treat it like something you need to escape.”

You’re doing your best. You’re not behind. You’re not undisciplined. You’re not broken.

You’re overstimulated — and this episode will help you name it, understand it, and navigate it with compassion.

Come hang out with Erin on Instagram: @medium.lady Share this episode with someone whose brain is also full — it helps the show grow and supports women who need exactly this kind of honesty and gentleness.

Cutting back your screen time should feel peaceful… right? Except when you actually try it, quitting your phone feels uncomfortable, emotional, and surprisingly hard.

In Episode 161, part of Phone Free Fall, I’m sharing a deeply honest four-to-six-week check-in on what it’s really like to change your relationship with your phone — including the withdrawal phase no one talks about, the “brain bargaining” that happens in the early weeks, and the surprising shifts that happen when your nervous system stops drinking from the firehose of five-second dopamine hits.

If you’ve ever wondered why scrolling feels rewarding, why boredom feels unbearable, or why your screen time spikes right when you’re trying to quit, this episode unpacks all of that with compassion, context, and real tools.

Together we explore:

✔️ What I actually changed (spoiler: nothing dramatic) ✔️ The gap you have to fill when the phone goes down ✔️ Why the first 2–3 weeks feel so uncomfortable ✔️ The neuroscience of dopamine withdrawal ✔️ How scrolling delivers stimulation, not satisfaction ✔️ Why screen time may rise before it falls ✔️ How creativity starts to re-inflate when input slows down ✔️ The moments of “micro-boredom” that tug you back to your phone ✔️ What I’m paying attention to next — including the emotional load–scrolling boomerang effect

If you’re trying to scroll less and live more, this episode will help you feel less alone in the messy middle — and more confident about what’s actually happening in your brain, your body, and your habits.

• Why your brain negotiates, bargains, and resists when you put your phone away

• Why real life feels slow after constant online stimulation

• How to interpret boredom as data instead of failure

• How your saved folders reveal what you’re craving in real life

• Why the “invisible load” peaks at the same time as screen time

• How creativity grows when consumption shrinks

• The tiny daily patterns (6am scroll, waiting-in-line scroll, bedtime scroll) worth noticing

• How to reset without moralizing or self-judgment

phone addiction, digital detox, reduce screen time, dopamine detox, scrolling addiction, mindful phone use, overstimulation in women, burnout recovery, mental load and phone use, how to stop doomscrolling, motherhood and mental health, creative rest, digital wellbeing, phone-free tips

Use these prompts to explore your own phone-free journey:

• When in your day are you most likely to reach for your phone?

• What emotion usually triggers the scroll — boredom? overwhelm? avoidance?

• What “quick hits” does your brain miss most?

• What real-life activities give you slow-drip dopamine?

• What creative urges are hiding behind your saved folders?

• When you scroll “to rest,” does it actually feel restful afterwards?

• How does your mood shift before, during, and after scrolling?

• What small moment could you reclaim (morning routine, commute, transitions)?

Are you doing Phone Free Fall with me? Share your check-in over at @medium.lady or send me a DM — I love hearing your stories, questions, and aha moments.

And if today’s episode helped you feel seen, scroll a little less, or breathe a little deeper, make sure you share this episode with a friend you care about, so we can build a big community of people stepping back from this black box of doom.

In this episode of Medium Lady Talks, Erin sits down with watercolor artist and author Jaime Townzen for a heartfelt conversation about the shift from caregiving to creativity — and how making art became her most powerful source of rest.

Jaime shares her story of moving through years of intense caregiving, grief, and the emotional load of motherhood, and how a simple watercolor tutorial in 2020 opened the door to calm, grounding, and a renewed sense of self. Together, Erin and Jaime explore what it means to rest creatively, how small creative acts can quiet anxiety, and why giving ourselves 15 minutes with no “deliverable” can change our whole nervous system.

They also dig into the guilt so many women feel when trying to rest, the transition from parenting young kids to supporting aging loved ones, and how to spend less time on your phone by choosing slower, more intentional hobbies.

If you’ve ever said, “I wish I could paint,” or “I wish I had time to write,” this episode will meet you right where you are — and gently nudge you toward the creative practices your future self will thank you for.

Together, Erin and Jaime talk about:

• How making art can regulate your nervous system

• Why creative hobbies matter even if no one ever sees them

• The guilt women feel when trying to rest

• Navigating the shift from raising kids to caring for elders

• Using creativity to spend less time on your phone

• Letting go of perfectionism and embracing “just a piece of paper”

• How small creative rituals can reconnect you to your identity

• Creative rest doesn’t require talent — it requires time and permission.

• Your first step isn’t “becoming an artist.” It’s sitting down.

• A 15-minute hobby with no deliverable can completely shift your internal state.

• Caring for others doesn’t mean losing yourself. Boundaries create wholeness.

• Mindful phone use is tiring — and that’s why it reduces screen time naturally.

• Jaime Townzen’s Art & Writing

• Absorbed by Jaime Townzen available wherever you love to buy books and at your public library (my library had a digital copy on Hoopla!)

• Sarah Cray Watercolor tutorials

Connect with Erin:

• Instagram: @medium.lady
• Patreon: www.patreon.com/mediumlady
• Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com
• Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
• Instagram: @mediumladyreads

What if your phone could stop following you around?

In Episode 159 of Medium Lady Talks, Erin Vandeven sits down with creator and stay-at-home mom Kassadi Gabriel—the mind behind the viral idea of “landline mode.” Together they unpack how simple technology boundaries can restore your patience, creativity, and peace of mind in a culture addicted to constant connection.

They talk about:

• What “landline mode” really is and how to try it yourself

• Why boundaries around your phone help you like yourself more

• How overstimulation and mental load show up in motherhood

• The myth of “consistency” as the new hustle culture

• How curiosity (not perfection) brings hobbies and creativity back to life

This episode is part of Erin’s Phone Free Fall series—a season-long experiment in reclaiming attention, slowing down, and noticing what real rest feels like.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Kassadi Gabriel on TikTok @kassadig

• Kassadi Gabriel on Instagram @kassadigabriel

• Brick affiliate link ($10 off via this link)

• Medium Lady Talks Episode 156 Phone Free Fall

If you’ve been craving fewer notifications and more presence, this conversation will help you find calm in a world that won’t stop pinging.

Keywords: phone boundaries, digital wellness, motherhood, mindful living, overstimulation, rest, burnout, attention span, social media use, phone free fall, Medium Lady Talks