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What if your hardest moments aren’t overreactions, but old forecasts your body still trusts? We go deep into how early emotional climates—missed attunement, slow repair, and tiny verdicts like clumsy—turn into adult patterns of panic, pursuit, withdrawal, and shame. Using vivid stories of Lisa, Maya, and Daniel, we unpack why the mind can know you’re safe while the nervous system prepares for loss, and how that gap creates conflict, self-criticism, and exhaustion.

We name the sneaky pull of counterfeit weather: the habits that mimic warmth—doomscrolling, overwork, drama, perfectionism—yet leave you wired and empty. Instead of chasing intensity, we focus on real regulation, the kind that arrives quietly: a softer tone, a steady gaze, a friend who listens rather than analyzes. Those are the experiences that teach the body the drop is not the final word. Insight helps you understand your patterns; new experiences update the prediction model underneath them.

You’ll learn a simple language to interrupt the pursue–withdraw loop by naming the weather without blame: there’s a drop in me, I’m not leaving, I need a pause. We reframe repair as return, not technique—less about perfect words and more about noticing when warmth comes back so the nervous system can trust connection again. Coherence isn’t constant calm; it’s staying in relationship while feelings rise and fall. If you’ve ever felt too sensitive or too much, you’ll leave with a kinder map: you’re patterned, not broken, and you can build a new climate through small, lived moments of return.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with someone who needs gentler weather, and leave a quick review to help others find these conversations.

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What if your body decides what matters before your mind catches up? We dig into Tomkins’ bold claim that feelings aren’t background noise—they’re amplifiers that turn quiet bodily signals into action, shaping motivation, habit change, and what we call “common sense.” If knowledge hasn’t been enough to change your behavior, this conversation explains why.

We trace the logic from drives that only motivate in the moment to anticipatory affect, the present-tense feeling that lets memory guide behavior. Along the way, we unpack the ambiguity of affect—how the signal is right even when our story is wrong—and show how mislabeling the cause of distress traps us in ineffective fixes. The Richter rat studies make it visceral: some rats died not from exertion but from giving up. Brief exposure with release restored hope and stamina. That shift wasn’t just nervous system regulation; it was a change in meaning. Think of the nervous system as hardware and the feeling system as firmware: hope, fear, shame, interest, and joy set the intensity your body follows.

We connect these ideas to everyday life. Interest pulls us toward the future, joy rewards arrival—lose both, and collapse lurks. This helps explain why screens can spark endless interest yet deliver little joy or co-regulation, feeding anxiety and emptiness. We also examine chronic shame as a self-sealing loop: avoidance brings relief, which prevents learning, which sustains fear. The way out isn’t brute force; it’s de-alarming—shaping conditions with gradual exposure, safety, and guaranteed exits so your system relearns that visibility and effort are survivable. Regulation tools help, but they’re strongest when anchored to meaning, connection, and small wins that reawaken interest and joy.

If this reframes something for you, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a hopeful model of change, and leave a review so others can find it. What one small “brief exposure with release” will you try this week?

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What if your body is already telling you what matters and your mind keeps talking over it? We dive into a clear, usable map for change that starts with the feeling system—the fast, sensory guidance that marks relevance before you can think a thought. Instead of treating emotions as problems to crush or content to perform, we show how sensations like tightness, heat, or collapse point to concrete needs: repair, protection, rest, or a new role entirely.

We take a frank look at socialization. Men are taught to shut down and call it strength; women are taught to perform processing and call it connection. Both miss the signal. From there, we break down the weather-versus-climate trap: a flash of shame is weather, but the story “I’m fundamentally flawed” becomes climate that warps perception. You’ll learn how to pause at the hinge between sensation and narrative so you can feel fully without handing your identity to a passing storm.

Midlife gets a new name and a better map: latolescence. After years of building careers, reputations, and stability, the body raises its voice—flatness, restlessness, disconnection. That’s not failure; it’s an avatar reaching its limit. We explore how to retire old selves with grief and respect, rebalance survival with connection and novelty, and create agency without self-attack. Grounded in Silvan Tomkins’ affect theory, we explain why feelings precede drives, why misattribution is normal, and how to navigate inner conflict among survival, connection, and curiosity without calling it pathology.

If you’re ready to stop white-knuckling willpower and start translating your signals with precision, this conversation offers practical language and steps you can use today. Listen, share with someone who’s in mid-transition, and leave a review telling us which system—survival, connection, or novelty—needs more airtime in your life.

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For more information about Scott and his practice, articles, videos, and more: https://linktr.ee/scottconkright