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  • Season 02: E07 | Clarity: Seeing Clearly without Carrying What Isn’t Yours

    Season 02: E07 | Clarity: Seeing Clearly without Carrying What Isn’t Yours
    Jan 12 2026
    What if clarity—not effort—is what protects your leadership?

    In this episode of Love & Light Leadership, Dr. Phenessa explores how emotionally intelligent leaders often suffer from role diffusion, over-responsibility, and decision fatigue—not because they lack discipline, but because boundaries remain unspoken.

    Drawing from Scripture, leadership research, emotional intelligence studies, and neuroscience, this episode reframes clarity as faithful stewardship—not selfish withdrawal.

    You’ll learn:
    • Why capable leaders absorb more than they should
    • How role diffusion quietly erodes clarity
    • The neuroscience behind decision fatigue
    • Practical ways to reclaim clarity without guilt
    Perfect for:

    Library leaders, educators, nonprofit executives, ministry leaders, and emotionally intelligent professionals navigating overload.

    Accessible References (APA 7th Edition)


    Scripture Tools (Free, Accessible)
    Bible Gateway. (n.d.). Free Bible reading and study tools. https://www.biblegateway.com/
    Bible Hub. (n.d.). Interlinear and lexicon tools. https://biblehub.com/
    Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Lexicon and word study resources. https://www.blueletterbible.org/

    1. Leadership & Role Clarity
    2. Demerouti, E., & Bakker, A. B. (2023). Job demands–resources theory in times of crisis. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 28(1), 1–13. https://doi.org/10.1177/20413866221135022
    3. Perrewé, P. L., Rosen, C. C., & Halbesleben, J. R. B. (2019). The role of emotional intelligence in occupational stress. Research in Occupational Stress and Well-Being, 17, 245–278.
    Emotional Intelligence
    1. Miao, C., Humphrey, R. H., & Qian, S. (2018). A meta-analysis of emotional intelligence and work attitudes. Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, 91(4), 939–968. https://eprints.lancs.ac.uk/id/eprint/83719/1/meta_analysis_of_emotional_intelligence_and_work_attitudes_for_archiving.pdf


    Neuroscience of Decision-Making
    1. Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410–422. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2648


    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/love-light-leadership-podcast--6730707/support.
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    16 Min.
  • Season 02: E06 | ACCEPTANCE - Aligned, Not Resigned

    Season 02: E06 | ACCEPTANCE - Aligned, Not Resigned
    Jan 4 2026
    What if the confidence you’re seeking doesn’t come from fixing yourself—but from accepting yourself?In Episode 6 of the Take What You Need 100-day series, Dr. Phenessa Gray invites leaders into a liberating reframe of acceptance—not as settling or stagnation, but as alignment with truth, design, and calling.Drawing from Scripture (Romans 15:7 AMPC; Psalm 139:13–14 TPT), leadership psychology, neuroscience, and organizational research, this episode speaks especially to leaders who process, think, communicate, or discern differently—without labeling, deficit framing, or self-disclosure.Instead, Dr. Phenessa explores how chronic self-correction, overcompensation, and internal pressure quietly drain leadership clarity and confidence. Through acceptance-based leadership practices, listeners learn how to conserve cognitive energy, reduce burnout risk, and lead with grounded authority.This episode includes:A reflective Point to Ponder for leaders who feel they must adapt themselves to lead effectivelyA biblical reflection on acceptance as receiving, not resignationA poetic reflection honoring complexity and designA Grace + Grit Moment on self-alignment and sustainable leadership4–4–6 breathwork to restore nervous system regulationEvidence-based leadership strategies rooted in psychological flexibility, conservation of resources theory, and neuroinclusive leadership researchA Heart–Mind Check and guided journal promptAn expanded, commissioning closing prayer for leaders ready to stop fighting themselvesIf you’ve ever felt the quiet pressure to lead like someone else—or wondered whether how you function is “too much” or “not enough”—this episode offers permission, wisdom, and practical support to lead with confidence exactly as you are.Because acceptance is not resignation.It’s alignment.And aligned leaders lead with clarity, steadiness, and peace.________________________________________Perfect for Leaders Who:Feel mentally or emotionally exhausted from constant self-monitoringLead in complex, people-centered environments (libraries, education, nonprofit, ministry, public service)Think deeply, process differently, or need time to discern before respondingWant faith-based leadership tools that are also psychologically soundAre ready to lead without apology or self-erasureShare your one-word takeaway using #TakeWhatYouNeed and connect with a growing community of leaders choosing wholeness over hustle.Next Episode: Episode 7 — CLARITY: Knowing What’s Yours to CarryAccessible Resources & References (APA 7th Edition)Scripture Tools (Free, Accessible)Bible Gateway. (n.d.). Free Bible reading and study tools. https://www.biblegateway.com/Bible Hub. (n.d.). Interlinear and lexicon tools. https://biblehub.com/ Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Lexicon and word study resources. https://www.blueletterbible.org/Public-Domain & Spiritual Thought SourcesAurelius, M. (c. 167).Meditations. (Public domain; Gregory Hays translation commonly used for clarity.)Nouwen, H. J. M. (1992).Life of the beloved: Spiritual living in a secular world. Crossroad Publishing.Acceptance, Psychological Flexibility & LeadershipHayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012).Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010).Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health.Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865–878.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.001Glomb, T. M., et al. (2020).Mindfulness at work: A review and integration.Journal of Organizational Behavior, 41(6), 1–26.https://doi.org/10.1002/job.2440Neurodiversity, Learning Differences & LeadershipArmstrong, T. (2010). Neurodiversity: Discovering the extraordinary gifts of autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other brain differences. Da Capo Press.Austin, R. D., & Pisano, G. P. (2017). Neurodiversity as a competitive advantage.Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2017/05/neurodiversity-as-a-competitive-advantageDoyle, N., & McDowall, A. (2021). Neurodiversity at work: A biopsychosocial model and the impact on working adults. British Journal of Occupational Therapy, 84(3), 1–10.https://doi.org/10.1177/0308022620952832Santuzzi, A. M., et al. (2023). Workplace disclosure and accommodation for neurodivergent employees. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 140, 103828. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2023.103828Executive Function, Cognitive Load & Decision-MakingArnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410–422. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2648Diamond, A. (2013). Executive functions. Annual Review of Psychology, 64, 135–168.https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-113011-143750McEwen, B. S., & Morrison, J. H. (2013). The brain on stress: Vulnerability and plasticity.Neuron, 79(1), 16–29. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuron.2013.06.028Self-Acceptance, Self-Compassion & ...
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    11 Min.
  • Season 02: E05 | PRESENCE - How to Lead from Where You Are, Not Where You Wish You Were

    Season 02: E05 | PRESENCE - How to Lead from Where You Are, Not Where You Wish You Were
    Dec 28 2025
    You can be in every room and present in none of them. You can show up to everything while being fully available to nothing. You can lead a thousand moments while never actually inhabiting one. Many leaders have built careers on perpetual motion—believing if they just move fast enough, they'll outrun inadequacy. They've confused busyness with effectiveness, distraction with productivity.In Episode 5 of the Take What You Need 100-day series, Dr. Phenessa Gray dismantles the myth that leadership requires you to be everywhere at once. Drawing from Psalm 46:10, Matthew 6:34, and Exodus 3:14, this episode reveals what biblical presence actually looks like: the sacred practice of leading from where you are instead of where you wish you were.You'll discover:- The Hebrew word raphah (be still, let go) and why it's active surrender, not passive resignation- Why your Default Mode Network keeps you anxious and your Task-Positive Network brings clarity- How mind-wandering 47% of the time predicts unhappiness regardless of what you're doing- The neuroscience of "mindsight"—seeing your mind clearly and redirecting attention intentionally- Why leaders who practice presence show enhanced emotional regulation and cognitive flexibility- The 3-Breath Arrival: a 15-second micro-practice to ground yourself before every transition- 5-5-5 breathwork pattern for coherence between heart rate variability and respiratory rhythm- How to stop fragmenting yourself across seventeen timelines and actually inhabit nowPerfect for: Leaders who are physically present but mentally scattered—library directors, educators, nonprofit founders, ministry leaders, corporate managers, and anyone who's been everywhere and nowhere all at once.Accessible Resources & References (APA 7th Edition)Scripture Tools (Free, Accessible)- Bible Gateway. (n.d.). Free Bible reading and study tools. https://www.biblegateway.com/- Bible Hub. (n.d.). Interlinear and lexicon tools. https://biblehub.com/- Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Lexicon and word study resources. https://www.blueletterbible.org/- Hebrew & Greek Word Studies- Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Strong's H7503 - raphah (to be still, let go, cease striving). https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h7503/kjv/wlc/0-1/- Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Strong's H1961 - hayah (to be, I AM). https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h1961/kjv/wlc/0-1/Biblical Reference WorksBrown, F., Driver, S. R., & Briggs, C. A. (1906). The Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon. Hendrickson Publishers.Strong, J. (1890). Strong's exhaustive concordance of the Bible. Abingdon Press.Thich Nhat Hanh Quote SourceHanh, T. N. (1992). Peace is every step: The path of mindfulness in everyday life. Bantam Books.________________________________________Credible Scholarly Works (APA 7th Edition)Neuroscience of Mind-Wandering & Present-Moment Awareness- Brewer, J. A., Worhunsky, P. D., Gray, J. R., Tang, Y. Y., Weber, J., & Kober, H. (2011). Meditation experience is associated with differences in default mode network activity and connectivity. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(50), 20254–20259. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1112029108- Buckner, R. L., Andrews-Hanna, J. R., & Schacter, D. L. (2008). The brain's default network: Anatomy, function, and relevance to disease. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1124(1), 1–38. https://doi.org/10.1196/annals.1440.011- Killingsworth, M. A., & Gilbert, D. T. (2010). A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science, 330(6006), 932. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1192439- Tang, Y. Y., Hölzel, B. K., & Posner, M. I. (2015). The neuroscience of mindfulness meditation. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 16(4), 213–225. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn3916Mindfulness & Leadership Effectiveness- Reb, J., Narayanan, J., & Chaturvedi, S. (2014). Leading mindfully: Two studies on the influence of supervisor trait mindfulness on employee well-being and performance. Mindfulness, 5(1), 36–45. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-012-0144-z- Verdorfer, A. P. (2016). Examining mindfulness and its relations to humility, motivation to lead, and actual servant leadership behaviors. Mindfulness, 7(4), 950–961. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-016-0534-8- Good, D. J., Lyddy, C. J., Glomb, T. M., Bono, J. E., Brown, K. W., Duffy, M. K., Baer, R. A., Brewer, J. A., & Lazar, S. W. (2016). Contemplating mindfulness at work: An integrative review. Journal of Management, 42(1), 114–142. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206315617003- Hülsheger, U. R., Alberts, H. J., Feinholdt, A., & Lang, J. W. (2013). Benefits of mindfulness at work: The role of mindfulness in emotion regulation, emotional exhaustion, and job satisfaction. Journal of Applied Psychology, 98(2), 310–325. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0031313Cognitive Benefits of Mindfulness & Attention Training- Jha, A. P., Krompinger, J., & Baime, M. J. (2007). Mindfulness training modifies subsystems of attention. Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral ...
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    18 Min.
  • Season 02: E04 | TRUTH: The Neuroscience of Truth-Telling for Burned-Out Leaders

    Season 02: E04 | TRUTH: The Neuroscience of Truth-Telling for Burned-Out Leaders
    Dec 21 2025
    You can be incredibly competent and emotionally exhausted at the same time. You can be crushing your goals while quietly suffocating under the weight of what you won't say out loud. Many leaders have built impressive résumés while quietly ignoring the truth their bodies have been screaming—confusing professionalism with pretending, strength with silence.In Episode 4 of the Take What You Need 100-day series, Dr. Phenessa Gray dismantles the dangerous narrative that honesty threatens leadership stability. Drawing from John 8:32, Psalm 51:6, and Psalm 42:11, this episode reveals what biblical truth actually looks like: alignment that liberates your nervous system and clarifies your leadership instead of collapsing it.You'll discover:- The Greek word ginōskō (to know experientially) and what it means for embodied truth- Why cognitive dissonance creates full-system stress responses in your brain- The F.I.N.E. framework: Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional—or Feelings In Need of Expression- How code-switching and emotional labor drain leaders who navigate multiple cultural contexts- The neuroscience of behavioral integrity and what happens when your words don't match your actions- How chronic misalignment compromises your prefrontal cortex and hyperactivates your amygdala- 4-4-6 breathwork practice to activate parasympathetic regulation- The practice of "energetic integrity"—one micro-move to restore nervous system relief- Why expressive writing about difficult truths creates neural pathways for healingPerfect for: Leaders who are tired of performing instead of processing—library directors, educators, nonprofit founders, ministry leaders, corporate managers, women in leadership, and anyone who's been saying "I'm fine" while their body screams otherwise.Scripture Tools (Free)- Bible Gateway. (n.d.). Free Bible reading and study tools. https://www.biblegateway.com/- Bible Hub. (n.d.). Interlinear and lexicon tools. https://biblehub.com/- Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Lexicon and word study resources. https://www.blueletterbible.org/Hebrew & Greek Word Studies- Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Strong's G1097 - ginōskō (to know, experientially). https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1097/kjv/tr/0-1/- Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Strong's H571 - emet (truth, reliability, faithfulness). https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h571/kjv/wlc/0-1/- Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Strong's H2910 - tuchoth (inward parts, hidden places). https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h2910/kjv/wlc/0-1/- Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Strong's G1659 - eleutheroō (to set free, liberate). https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1659/kjv/tr/0-1/Biblical Reference Works- Brown, F., Driver, S. R., & Briggs, C. A. (1906). The Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon. Hendrickson Publishers.- Kittel, G., & Friedrich, G. (Eds.). (1964). Theological dictionary of the New Testament (Vol. 1).- Eerdmans. Strong, J. (1890). Strong's exhaustive concordance of the Bible. Abingdon Press.Cognitive Dissonance & Psychological Alignment- Festinger, L. (1957). A theory of cognitive dissonance. Stanford University Press.- Harmon-Jones, E., & Mills, J. (2019). An introduction to cognitive dissonance theory and an overview of current perspectives on the theory. In E. Harmon-Jones (Ed.), Cognitive dissonance: Reexamining a pivotal theory in psychology (2nd ed., pp. 3–24). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/0000135-001Neuroscience: Stress, Trauma & Integration- Damasio, A. R. (1994). Descartes' error: Emotion, reason, and the human brain. Putnam.- Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why zebras don't get ulcers (3rd ed.). Henry Holt and Company.- Siegel, D. J. (2012). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.- Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.- McEwen, B. S. (1998). Protective and damaging effects of stress mediators. New England Journal of Medicine, 338(3), 171–179. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJM199801153380307- Lupien, S. J., McEwen, B. S., Gunnar, M. R., & Heim, C. (2009). Effects of stress throughout the lifespan on the brain, behaviour and cognition. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 434–445. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2639Emotional Labor & Code-Switching- Hochschild, A. R. (1983). The managed heart: Commercialization of human feeling. University of California Press.- Grandey, A. A. (2000). Emotion regulation in the workplace: A new way to conceptualize emotional labor. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 5(1), 95–110. https://doi.org/10.1037/1076-8998.5.1.95- Brotheridge, C. M., & Grandey, A. A. (2002). Emotional labor and burnout: Comparing two perspectives of "people work." Journal of Vocational Behavior, 60(1), 17–39. https://doi.org/10.1006/jvbe.2001.1815- McCluney, C. L., Robotham, K., Lee, S., Smith, R., & Durkee, M. (2019). The costs of code-switching. Harvard ...
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    21 Min.
  • Season 02: E03 | GRIT: When Your Strength Doesn’t Cost Your Soul

    Season 02: E03 | GRIT: When Your Strength Doesn’t Cost Your Soul
    Dec 15 2025
    You can be incredibly strong and spiritually bankrupt at the same time. You can achieve remarkable things while losing remarkable parts of yourself. Many leaders have built impressive résumés while quietly eroding their souls—confusing perseverance with punishment, dedication with depletion.In Episode 3 of the Take What You Need 100-day series, Dr. Phenessa Gray dismantles the toxic narrative that strength requires soul sacrifice. Drawing from Matthew 11:28-30, Isaiah 40:31, and Psalm 23:2-3, this episode reveals what biblical grit actually looks like: Spirit-sustained strength that makes you more alive, not less.You'll discover:•The Hebrew word chālîyph (renew/exchange) and what it means for depleted leaders•Why self-generated grit always has a price tag—and God's strength doesn't•The Four Energy Dimensions framework for sustainable leadership (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual)•How allostatic load from chronic stress literally changes your brain structure•The practice of "soul-cost accounting" before saying yes to anything•A soul-restoration breathing meditation to reconnect with God's sustaining presence•How to audit whether your current strength is feeding or costing your soulPerfect for: Leaders who are tired of choosing between their calling and their wholeness—library directors, educators, nonprofit founders, ministry leaders, corporate managers, and anyone who's been sacrificing their soul for their impact.Connect with Dr. Phenessa💡 Website: EMSightGlobal.com📸 Instagram: @DrPhenessa💼 LinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/phenessagray/✉️ Email: info@emsightglobal.com 🏮Subscribe to LeadInLight app (7-Day Trial for Premium Access)Love this episode?⭐ Leave a review on any podcast platform🔗 Share with a leader who needs this message🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode ________________________________________📚 APA 7 Reference ListScripture Tools Bible Gateway. (n.d.). Free Bible reading and study tools. https://www.biblegateway.com/Bible Hub. (n.d.). Interlinear and lexicon tools. https://biblehub.com/Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Lexicon and word study resources. https://www.blueletterbible.org/Hebrew & Greek Word StudiesBible Study Tools. (n.d.). Strong's H2487 - chālîyph (to change, renew, exchange). https://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/hebrew/nas/chaliyphah.htmlBlue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Strong's G373 - anapauō (to give rest, refresh). https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g373/kjv/tr/0-1/Howard Thurman Quote SourceThurman, H. (1980). The growing edge. Friends United Press. (Quote widely attributed and verified through Thurman archives)________________________________________Credible Scholarly Works (APA 7th Edition)Energy Management & Sustainable PerformanceLoehr, J., & Schwartz, T. (2003). The power of full engagement: Managing energy, not time, is the key to high performance and personal renewal. Free Press.Schwartz, T., & McCarthy, C. (2007). Manage your energy, not your time. Harvard Business Review, 85(10), 63–73.Sonnentag, S., & Fritz, C. (2015). Recovery from job stress: The stressor‐detachment model as an integrative framework. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 36(S1), S72–S103. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.1924Dalal, R. S., Bhave, D. P., & Fiset, J. (2014). Within-person variability in job performance: A theoretical review and research agenda. Journal of Management, 40(5), 1396–1436. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206314532691Neuroscience: Allostatic Load & Chronic StressMcEwen, B. S. (1998). Protective and damaging effects of stress mediators. New England Journal of Medicine, 338(3), 171–179. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJM199801153380307McEwen, B. S., & Stellar, E. (1993). Stress and the individual: Mechanisms leading to disease. Archives of Internal Medicine, 153(18), 2093–2101. https://doi.org/10.1001/archinte.1993.00410180039004Juster, R. P., McEwen, B. S., & Lupien, S. J. (2010). Allostatic load biomarkers of chronic stress and impact on health and cognition. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 35(1), 2–16. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2009.10.002Lupien, S. J., McEwen, B. S., Gunnar, M. R., & Heim, C. (2009). Effects of stress throughout the lifespan on the brain, behaviour and cognition. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 434–445. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2639Breathwork & Contemplative PracticesMa, X., Yue, Z. Q., Gong, Z. Q., Zhang, H., Duan, N. Y., Shi, Y. T., Wei, G. X., & Li, Y. F. (2017). The effect of diaphragmatic breathing on attention, negative affect and stress in healthy adults. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 874. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00874Zaccaro, A., Piarulli, A., Laurino, M., Garbella, E., Menicucci, D., Neri, B., & Gemignani, A. (2018). How breath-control can change your life: A systematic review on psycho-physiological correlates of slow breathing. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 12, 353. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: ...
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    18 Min.
  • Season 02: E02 | GRACE: Permission to Be Human

    Season 02: E02 | GRACE: Permission to Be Human
    Dec 7 2025
    What if grace isn’t the opposite of strength, but the source of it?In this second episode of the Take What You Need 100-day series, Dr. Phenessa Gray offers a deeply personal and research-informed invitation to rediscover grace—not as a soft sentiment, but as a strategic act of self-leadership. Rooted in Scripture and supported by leadership theory and neuroscience, this episode reframes grace as permission to be—to be honest, to be human, to be whole.Dr. Phenessa shares her own experience of burning out in silence, the weight of the “superwoman complex,” and the breakthrough that came when she finally allowed herself to stop performing and start healing. Through this lens, she introduces a grace-based leadership model—Pause, Perspective, Plan—designed to help leaders build emotional sustainability, prevent burnout, and re-engage with presence and intention.You’ll explore:The biblical concept of charis—grace as divine empowerment, not indulgenceEmotional sustainability as a leadership necessityHow chronic depletion disrupts executive functioning and decision-makingWhy grace doesn’t excuse outcomes—it preserves the leader delivering themThe neuroscience of recovery and the role of micro-shiftsA guided 4-4-6 breathwork practice to regulate and resetA poetic reflection on what grace sounds like in leadershipA heart–mind check and journal prompt to deepen awarenessActionable leadership shifts to help you lead from alignment, not exhaustionPerfect for:Leaders who feel stretched thin but stay silentWomen navigating the “strong Black woman” or “superwoman” identityLibrary directors, educators, nonprofit executives, and ministry leadersProfessionals managing emotional labor and invisible expectationsAnyone needing spiritual permission to rest, reset, and reclaim spaceWhether you’re navigating high demand, holding space for others, or just tired of leading from empty—this episode reminds you that grace is not weakness—it’s wisdom in motion.Join the ConversationShare your one-word intention using #TakeWhatYouNeed and connect with a community of leaders choosing presence over perfection. Together, we’re learning to Love Bold, Live Lit, and Lead Forward.Connect with Dr. Phenessa💡 Website: EMSightGlobal.com📸 Instagram: @DrPhenessa💼 LinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/phenessagray/✉️ Email: info@emsightglobal.com 🏮Subscribe to LeadInLight app (7-Day Trial for Premium Access)Love this episode?⭐ Leave a review on any podcast platform🔗 Share with a leader who needs this message🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode ________________________________________📚 APA 7 Reference List2 Corinthians 12:9–10. (n.d.). The Message. NavPress Publishing Group. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+12%3A9-10&version=MSGArnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410–422. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2648 Blue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Charis (G5485) – Grace. https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G5485Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(1), 1–25. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16300724/Hebrews 4:15–16. (n.d.). The Passion Translation. BroadStreet Publishing Group. https://www.bible.com/bible/1849/HEB.4.15-16.TPTHobfoll, S. E. (1989). Conservation of resources: A new attempt at conceptualizing stress. American Psychologist, 44(3), 513–524. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.44.3.513Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. HarperCollins. https://books.google.com/books/about/Self_Compassion.html?id=6krvBkA78XcCPhilippians 1:6. (n.d.). The Voice Translation. Thomas Nelson. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+1%3A6&version=VOICEBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/love-light-leadership-podcast--6730707/support.
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    19 Min.
  • Season 02: E01 | Take What You Need Series: POWER - Reclaiming What’s Already Yours

    Season 02: E01 | Take What You Need Series: POWER - Reclaiming What’s Already Yours
    Dec 1 2025
    (00:00:00) Season 02: E01 | Take What You Need Series: POWER - Reclaiming What’s Already Yours (00:00:02) Welcome to Love and Light Leadership Podcast (00:00:37) Setting the Stage for Sustainable Leadership (00:03:48) The Burden of Self-Silencing (00:05:35) Balancing Grace and Grit (00:06:23) Embracing Your Humanity (00:08:40) Leadership Challenge and Closing Prayer (00:09:51) Closing Remarks and Call to Action What if the power you’re searching for isn’t something you must earn, prove, or chase…but something you simply need to remember? In this opening episode of the Take What You Need 100-day series, Dr. Phenessa Gray guides you into a deeper understanding of POWER, not as dominance or performance, but as the inner authority God has already placed within you. Grounded in Scripture and enriched with insights from industrial-organizational psychology and neuroscience, this episode reveals why so many leaders quietly give their power away through overextension, people-pleasing, and unclear boundaries—and how to reclaim it with grace and conviction.You’ll explore: The meaning of chreia (God providing for your purpose) in Philippians 4:19The forceful, intentional agency described in Matthew 11:12 (AMPC)Why role creep silently drains leadership clarity and confidenceHow chronic depletion disrupts your prefrontal cortex and decision-makingA poetic reflection to help you reconnect with your inner strengthA guided 4-4-6 breathwork practice to realign your nervous systemA weekly micro-action that begins your power reclamation journey🎯 Perfect for:Library and academic leaders navigating high emotional labor and resource constraintsNonprofit executives balancing mission with burnout preventionCorporate professionals striving to lead with authenticity in performance-driven environmentsEmerging leaders discovering how to protect their voice, peace, and paceSpirit-led leaders who feel deeply, process slowly, and lead with intention💬This episode is especially resonant if you:Say “yes” out of habit rather than alignmentCarry responsibilities that were never yours to begin withStruggle with people-pleasing or fear of disappointing othersFeel stretched thin but still compelled to push harderThink of yourself as strong… until your body says otherwise.Dr. Phenessa leads you through a poetic reflection, a Grace + Grit moment from her own life, breathwork, and a leadership strategy grounded in both Scripture and research. You’ll walk away with a clear journal prompt, a Heart–Mind Check, and a practical challenge to take back one inch of space in your life.Join the Conversation Share your one-word intention using #TakeWhatYouNeed on Instagram and tag me @DrPhenessa or LinkedIn. Connect with a community of leaders learning to Love Bold, Live Lit, and Lead Forward. Next Episode: Episode 2 – GRACE: Permission to Be HumanConnect with Dr. Phenessa💡 Website: EMSightGlobal.com📸 Instagram: @DrPhenessa💼 LinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/phenessagray/✉️ Email: info@emsightglobal.com 🏮Subscribe to LeadInLight app (7-Day Trial for Premium Access)Love this episode?⭐ Leave a review on any podcast platform🔗 Share with a leader who needs this message🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode ________________________________________📚 APA 7 Reference List American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Role theory. In APA dictionary of psychology. https://dictionary.apa.org/role-theoryArnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signaling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410–422. https://www.nature.com/articles/nrn2648Bakker, A. B., & Demerouti, E. (2007). The Job Demands–Resources model: State of the art. Journal of Managerial Psychology, 22(3), 309–328. https://peopleful.io/Job-Demands-Resource-Model-research.pdfBandura, A. (1977). Social learning theory. Prentice Hall. https://www.learning-theories.com/social-learning-theory-bandura.htmlBlue Letter Bible. (n.d.). Chreia (G5532) & harpazō (G726). https://www.blueletterbible.orgBible Hub. (n.d.). Interlinear study tools. https://www.biblehub.comGoleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Bantam Books. https://books.google.com/books/about/Emotional_Intelligence.html?id=AcJ7dwsnWiICHuberman, A. (n.d.). Huberman Lab Podcast. Accessible episodes on stress & nervous system regulation. https://www.hubermanlab.com/podcastLogos Bible Study Platform. (n.d.). https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXkjd_l1xkSS1MnD9ptKhj8gQx84thS0VProject Gutenberg. (n.d.). Ralph Waldo Emerson collection. https://www.gutenberg.orgSociety for Industrial and Organizational Psychology. (n.d.). https://www.siop.orgVan Dyne, L. I. N. N., & Ellis, J. B. (2004). Job creep: A reactance theory perspective on organizational citizenship behavior as over-fulfillment of obligations. The employment relationship: Examining psychological and contextual perspectives, 181-205. https://...
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    13 Min.
  • Episode 12 | Self-Control: Leading from the Inside Out

    Episode 12 | Self-Control: Leading from the Inside Out
    Nov 23 2025
    In Episode 12, "Self-Control: Leading from the Inside Out," Dr. Phenessa Gray brings our transformative journey through the nine fruits of the Spirit to a powerful close. This isn't just another episode about discipline—it's a reimagining of what self-mastery truly means for leaders who want to create lasting impact without burning out.What You'll Discover:Why self-control is like ancient city walls—not about isolation, but about protection of what's precious within.The neuroscience of self-regulation and how your prefrontal cortex strengthens with practice.Dr. Roy Baumeister's research on why self-control functions like a muscle.The critical difference between self-effort (which exhausts) and Spirit-partnership (which sustains).Practical strategies: The Boundary Architecture Framework and Sacred Pauses technique.How to conduct a decision fatigue audit and preserve mental capacity for what matters most.Perfect For:Library leaders and information professionals navigating service-oriented workAspiring leaders building sustainable leadership practicesAnyone who processes deeply, feels intensely, or carries others' emotionsLeaders tired of performative productivity and hustle cultureThose seeking to integrate faith and strategy in their leadershipEpisode Highlights Include:Anchor scriptures from Proverbs 25:28 (The Passion Translation & The Voice)Research-backed leadership strategies from organizational psychologyA transformative Grace & Grit Moment addressing perfectionism and boundariesGuided 4-4-6 breathwork for centeringHeart-Mind Check with reflective journaling promptsClosing prayer for the entire Fruit of the Spirit seriesDr. Phenessa Gray masterfully weaves together Biblical wisdom, cutting-edge research, and practical coaching to help you establish boundaries that honor your capacity, protect your peace, and preserve your power to lead effectively.Whether you're leading a team, stewarding community resources, or aspiring to greater influence, this episode will transform how you think about self-control—not as restriction, but as the ultimate act of self-respect and divine partnership.This is leadership from the inside out. This is Love & Light Leadership.Biblical References:Proverbs 25:28 (The Passion Translation & The Expanded Bible)Galatians 5:22-23 (multiple translations) - The fruit of the Spirit, with self-control as the culminating virtue1 Corinthians 9:25 - Paul's teaching on self-discipline in pursuit of purpose2 Peter 1:5-6 - Building self-control upon faith and virtueJohn 15:5 - "Apart from me you can do nothing" - emphasizing divine partnershipVisit BibleGateway.com for further study.Research & Theory:Baumeister, R. F., & Tierney, J. (2011). Willpower: Rediscovering the greatest human strength. Penguin Press. [Foundational research establishing self-control as a depletable but trainable cognitive resource, with implications for leadership effectiveness]Duckworth, A. (2016). Grit: The power of passion and perseverance. Scribner. [Explores how sustained self-discipline combined with passion leads to exceptional achievement across various fields]Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Avery. [Practical framework for designing environments and systems that reduce reliance on willpower through habit architecture]•Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, fast and slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux. [Explains automatic versus deliberate thinking systems, providing insight into impulse control mechanisms]•Vohs, K. D., & Baumeister, R. F. (2016). Handbook of self-regulation: Research, theory, and applications (3rd ed.). Guilford Press. [Comprehensive academic resource examining self-regulation across psychological, organizational, and developmental contexts]•Muraven, M., & Baumeister, R. F. (2000). "Self-regulation and depletion of limited resources: Does self-control resemble a muscle?" Psychological Bulletin, 126(2), 247-259. [Seminal research establishing the ego depletion model and muscle metaphor for self-control]Additional Context:Prefrontal cortex research in cognitive neuroscience demonstrates that executive function capacity strengthens with deliberate practice of self-regulatory behaviors, supporting the concept that self-control develops through consistent exercise rather than being a fixed trait.Industrial-Organizational psychology research establishes clear connections between leader self-regulation and reduced team burnout, improved decision-making quality, and enhanced psychological safety within work environments.Studies in service professions, including library science and information services, emphasize the critical role of boundary-setting and energy management in preventing compassion fatigue and sustaining long-term effectiveness in mission-driven work.All references selected for availability through public libraries, university databases, or widely available published works.________________________________________Connect ...
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    16 Min.