WELCOME TO EARTH.

It's really only fitting that on the week after America's birthday we bring to you perhaps the greatest blockbuster hit of all time.

It's got explosions. It's got dogs surviving certain death. It's got...Vivica A. Fox at a strip club? Wait, what?

Anyways, this movie is still really awesome. And we're here to answer the questions as old as Old Glory herself: Did Jeff Goldblum live up to his charismatic potential? Is this a Christian movie? Is this a Jewish movie? Would anyone really care if an astronaut married a stripper?

So many questions, so few cigars.

Cue the fat lady.

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Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?

What a strange film this is. Not a lot of the “intellectual-challenged” films from this era (not named Rain Man) have survived the cannon fire of modern day critics. Looking especially hard at you, Radio.

It’s hard to imagine that one of those films broke all kinds of records, won all kinds of awards, and had all kinds of weirdly endearing America and apple pie-flavored charm.

But hey, that’s Forrest Gump for ya.

But enough of all that genuine analysis, we’re here to ask the real questions.

For example:

Was this film an allegory for the biblical Book of Hosea?

Was Lieutenant Dan fit to serve in the LORD’s army?

Was Jenny a bad person? Or was she the worst person?

Tune in for all that and more!

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Grab your ski masks, movie fans.

This week, the gang covers a film that feels criminally under appreciated, which is funny because of how criminal the actions in this movie are.

Hell or High Water is a neo-Western that examines the malaise of living in a small Texas town where the charm of a peaceful rural existence has been sabotaged by big banks and predatory corporations.

It’s also got lots of bank robbing, which is sick.

Join us as we ask hard hitting questions like, “What happened to the man who ordered trout at that restaurant?” and “Could Kirk Cameron have improved this film somehow?”

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