Your Dating Life Is Not Someone Else's Entertainment | Living OUT Loud

When did trying to find love become something people should be embarrassed about?

We've gotten pretty comfortable sharing screenshots of dating profiles, awkward introductions, and private messages in Facebook groups and online communities. Sometimes it's about protecting one another. But other times? It's simply entertainment at someone else's expense.

And I think we need to talk about that.

In this week's Living OUT Loud solocast, I'm exploring something that's been weighing on my heart, especially within our lesbian and LGBTQ+ dating communities.

Behind every dating profile is a real person. Someone who may be coming out later in life, dating after heartbreak, or finding the courage to put themselves out there again.

There's a difference between accountability and cruelty. And kindness doesn't mean lowering your standards.

We can recognize red flags, protect ourselves, establish healthy boundaries, and still treat people with dignity.

So here's my question: Are we creating dating spaces where vulnerability feels safe, or are we making people afraid to show up as themselves?

Because finding love is hard enough without becoming someone else's punchline.

Let's have this conversation. I'd genuinely love to hear where you believe the line should be drawn.

🎙️ Living OUT Loud with Michele Flamer

#LivingOUTLoud #LesbianDating #QueerDating #LGBTQCommunity #DatingWithIntention #KindnessMatters

What do meeting a serial killer and befriending Rosa Parks have in common?

For Scott Wells, they’re both chapters in one extraordinary life.

On this episode of Living OUT Loud, I sit down with author Scott Wells for a conversation that went places I never expected.

Scott takes us back to a chilling encounter with a man he would later believe was serial killer Robert Durst, an experience that ultimately helped inspire his novel Phantom Ranch.

But then there’s another remarkable chapter of Scott’s life.

Years earlier, while serving his mission, Scott met and befriended the legendary Rosa Parks. Yes, that Rosa Parks. And hearing him talk about the woman behind the history books, and the impact she had on him personally, is something I won't soon forget.

But this conversation is about more than the famous people Scott has crossed paths with.

We talk about being gay, faith and identity, family, belonging, the stories we carry, the wild places that call us back to ourselves, and why certain encounters can change the trajectory of our lives forever.

Some people have a story.

Scott Wells seems to have lived several of them.

This is one of those Living OUT Loud conversations that reminds us that we never really know which person, moment, or unexpected turn will become part of the story of who we eventually become.

🎙️ Living OUT Loud with Michele Flamer-Powell
Guest: Scott Wells, author of Phantom Ranch

Takeaways

• Embracing personal truth
• The impact of formative experiences. Coming out is a lifelong journey
• Writing can facilitate self-expression

https://www.scottwellsauthor.com/

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Scott Wells
• 02:53 Scott's Early Life and Mission
• 05:49 Life-Changing Encounters
• 12:30 Reflections on Rosa Parks
• 17:50 Coming to Terms with Identity
• 24:36 Navigating Relationships and Regrets
• 32:17 The Journey of Coming Out
• 35:44 The Experience of Writing a Book
• 46:08 The Grand Canyon: A Magical Place
• 51:50 Living Out Loud: Embracing Authenticity

In this important Solocast, Michele Flamer emphasizes the critical importance of voting and political engagement, particularly for the LGBTQ community. She discusses the upcoming elections, the impact of local and state decisions, and encourages listeners to be informed and active participants in democracy.

Here’s your homework. And I promise it’s not complicated.

1. Check your voter registration.

2. Find your ballot.

3. Research the candidates and ballot measures.

4. Make a voting plan.

Check here to see if you are registered.

Another place to check: https://www.usa.gov/confirm-voter-registration

Takeaways

• Importance of voting
• Engagement in democracy

Chapters

• 00:00 The Importance of Showing Up
• 05:09 Understanding the Ballot
• 11:01 Engaging with Politics
• 16:07 The Power of Participation
• 21:03 Visibility at the Ballot Box

Hey single people!! Michele was excited to share this Solocast. It discusses healthy relationships and self-love, emphasizing the importance of self-knowledge and boundary-setting. She also introduces the 'relationship reset' workshop and shares insights on building a life that feels aligned with the love one desires.

Takeaways

• Self-love and healthy relationships require knowing oneself and setting boundaries.
• Being single is not a waiting room for real life; it's about building a life that feels aligned with the love one desires.

MicheleFlamer.com

Thanks for listening, and please share this episode.

You can find me on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook.

Chapters:

• 00:00 Introducing Relationship Reset
• 01:13 The Question of Self-Discovery
• 05:30 The Concept of Compatibility
• 09:55 Being Your Whole Self
• 13:03 Healthy Love and Partnership
• 24:51 Building a Life Aligned with Love

This episode, Liz is back and the conversation explores the experience of introducing a partner to one's family and friends, the dynamics of chosen family, and the impact of meeting each other's people.

It delves into the significance of blending lives, the nervousness and excitement of meeting loved ones, and the evolution of relationships within different social circles.

The conversation explores the theme of maintaining tenderness in a relationship and the importance of setting boundaries with family. It delves into the significance of self-care and sovereignty in nurturing a loving connection.

Takeaways

• Chosen family dynamics
• Navigating nervousness and excitement
• The evolution of relationships within different social circles Tenderness within a relationship is nurtured by staying tender-hearted with oneself first.
• Setting boundaries with family is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship and prioritizing the couple's well-being.

Find us on social media.

Relationship Ready Lesbians - Jump on the waitlist

TikTok

Instagram

LizBurke.com

MicheleFlamer.com

Chapters

• 00:00 Introducing Your Partner to Your People
• 02:26 Blending Lives and Chosen Family Dynamics
• 03:10 Navigating Nervousness and Excitement
• 05:22 The Evolution of Relationships Within Different Social Circles
• 09:49 The Impact of Meeting Each Other's People
• 16:02 Maintaining Love Amidst the Inclusion of Family, Friends, and Histories
• 20:34 Maintaining Tenderness in a Relationship
• 29:18 The Importance of Setting Boundaries with Family

What if healing could happen somewhere beyond the hospital room?

In this episode of Living OUT Loud, I sit down with Darrell Wood, founder and executive director of Cues For Cancer, a nonprofit using the power of musical theater to bring hope, connection, and moments of joy to individuals and families facing cancer.

Darrell believes that while medicine treats the body, people also need something that reminds them who they are beyond the diagnosis.

We talk about what inspired him to turn creativity into service, the realities of building a mission-driven organization from the ground up, and why the arts deserve a much bigger place in our conversations about healing.

We also explore the loneliness that can accompany cancer, the importance of giving families moments where they can simply be human again, and Darrell's belief that hope isn't a luxury. It's part of the medicine.

This is a conversation about cancer, but even more than that, it's about purpose, creativity, resilience, and what becomes possible when we use the gifts we've been given to show up for someone else.

Because sometimes healing isn't about changing what we're going through.

Sometimes it's about remembering we're not going through it alone.

#CuesForCancer #LivingOUTLoudPodcast #HealingThroughTheArts #CancerSupport #PurposeDriven

What happens when the values we claim no longer match the way we live?

In this powerful episode of Living OUT Loud, Michele sits down with Shane Lukas, an activist, two-time TEDx speaker, award-winning designer, author, podcast host, and founder of the creative agency A Great Idea.

Shane’s story began with profound loss. After losing his mother at just 11 years old and growing up in an unstable home, he learned self-reliance far earlier than any child should. But those experiences also ignited a determination to create a more compassionate and courageous world, especially for people whose voices and humanity are too often overlooked.

Together, Michele and Shane explore the difference between the strength we choose and the strength survival demands of us. They talk about identity, belonging, advocacy, the physical cost of living out of alignment, and what it truly means to turn deeply held values into visible action.

Shane also shares why courage is not a personality trait reserved for the fearless. It is a practice available to all of us, often beginning in the quiet, uncomfortable moments when we decide to stop making ourselves smaller for the comfort of others.

This is an honest and moving conversation about transforming pain into purpose, becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable, and finding the courage to live what you believe.

Because living OUT loud is not simply about being seen. It is about allowing your truth to shape the way you move through the world.

Follow Shane on the world wide web. :)

Shane's website.

LinkedIn profile

Instagram

TedTalk

#LivingOutLoud #LGBTQVoices #AuthenticLiving #CourageousLeadership #PurposeDrivenLife

What does it really take to find love that lasts?

In this powerful episode of Living OUT Loud, Michele sits down with Romantic Mastery Coach™, matchmaker, and bestselling author Amari Ice for an honest conversation about gay dating, emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and the relationship skills many of us were never taught.

Amari has helped more than 500 gay men gain clarity about their needs, recognize the patterns keeping them from love, and develop the emotional tools needed to build healthy, lasting relationships.

Together, Michele and Amari explore the difference between chemistry and compatibility, why wanting love is not always the same as being ready to receive it, how shame and self-protection appear in dating, and what it means to become the kind of partner who can recognize, receive, and sustain meaningful love.

Amari also shares insights from his twelve-step RELATIONSHIP Process, featured in his international Amazon bestseller, Lasting Love at Last: The Gay Guide to Catching and Keeping the Man of Your Dreams.

Whether you are single, dating, partnered, healing from heartbreak, or simply ready to understand yourself more deeply, this conversation is a reminder that lasting love is not about becoming more desirable. It begins with becoming more honest, emotionally available, and connected to who you truly are.

Because connection changes everything.

Learn more about Amari Ice at https://www.amarimeanslove.com

#LivingOUTLoud #Matchmaker #AmariMeansLove #GayDating #GayRelationships