What Movie Should We Do Next?

Okay, so someone finally made a Resident Evil movie that actually feels like you’re the one mashing buttons and screaming at the TV. We had to talk about it. Ryan Baron North and James Crosslin are here to drunkenly dissect Zack Cregger’s “Resident Evil” with our infallible scorecard: acting, cinematography, score, plot, and, of course, how many times you’d actually want to watch this thing again. We’re talking Austin Abrams nailing the sad-sack everyman, supporting actors who can tell a whole damn story with just a look, and that delicious tension that makes survival horror so much fun to watch when you’re not the one running for your life.

We also get into the nitty-gritty of what makes this thing actually scary: first-person camera moves that follow the action properly, blocking that’s smarter than half the people you know, and sound design that turns every footstep and awkward silence into a full-body experience. The score? This is all about making you sweat. We even play horror DNA detective and trace it all the way back to John Carpenter’s The Thing—body horror, creepy sounds, and heartbeat baselines. If you’re a horror nerd… we’re getting into it.

Then we dive into the story's Golden Path: it kicks off with a pregnancy scare, a whole lot of running away from stuff, and somehow turns fear of change into actual, gross, body-morphing change. And because it’s what we do, we drop ourselves into Raccoon City and confess exactly where we’d screw things up..

If you’re into Resident Evil, horror flicks, or just want to hear two idiots talk video game movies like they actually know what they’re doing, hit subscribe, send this to your horror-loving buddy, and leave us a review. And hey, what’s the one horror game moment that still haunts your dreams?

Congrats Zach: 4/5

Super impressive you directed this while holding a gallon of PCP.

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