Working incredibly hard but never gaining traction? Your days feel like building blocks scattered on the ground instead of actually building something? You're not broken—you just need a better filter.

Every demand on your attention is stealing time you can never get back. When you don't understand the three types of attention demands, you start losing relationships with healthy people, doubting yourself, and believing your focus on your calling is somehow selfish. In this episode, you'll learn the simple one-two-three system that helps you identify what type of attention each demand requires—and whether the context is aligned. This is your secret weapon for protecting your joy while staying on track with your calling.

Host Shelly Rood introduces the three-phase system from the Hardcore and At Ease Framework—SELF, OVER, OTHERS—and shows you exactly how to apply the Phase Filter Question to real demands: emails, networking events, client requests, and team questions. You'll discover the viral Turkish Olympic shooter Yusuf Dikeç story and why his silver medal performance in just glasses and a t-shirt perfectly illustrates Phase 1 work, why women leaders often get trapped in Phase 3-only thinking, how Jennifer's twenty years without Phase 1 time is literally destroying her body, and why the Phase Filter saves hours of guilty deliberation.

CHAPTERS:

(00:00) Introduction and Purpose

(01:00) Understanding Daily Demands

(04:11) The Three-Phase System

(10:22) Phase One: Self-Awareness

(21:14) Phase Two: Social Awareness

(26:39) Phase Three: Exercising Authority

(33:58) Practical Applications and Examples

(44:24) Conclusion and Next Steps

IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER:

✓ The Phase Filter Question that lets you make decisions in seconds instead of hours of guilty deliberation

✓ Why personality assessments are essential for Phase 2 work (and the peacock-vs-owl story that changed everything)

✓ Otis's "peas and porkchops" wisdom for managing networking events without drowning in follow-ups

✓ The thick black line between Phases 2 and 3—and why crossing it destroys both relationships and authority

NEXT WEEK: Episode 31 - Andy Rhodenbaugh: "Building Excellence on a 4-Day Work Week"

StoryBrand marketing coach Andy Rhodenbaugh shows you how protecting Fridays, stacking projects strategically, and finishing work before releasing it creates sustainable success.

RESOURCES:

Learn More: Hardcore and At Ease Framework - https://www.OthersOverSelf.com | Boundaries Lesson Download (complimentary) - check show notes | Strategy Session - info@missionambition.org

Affiliate Disclaimer: I only recommend products I genuinely use. Full disclosure: https://othersoverself.com/affiliate-disclaimer/

Get the Gear:

🎥 Neewer 660 LED Lights: https://amzn.to/4qN93UL/ | 🎬 Diffusion Filter Upgrade https://amzn.to/3YwZWLZ, check variations | 📊 My Business Report: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/biz-report | 🎯 StoryBrand.ai: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/storybrand-ai | 📚 Business Made Simple:

Episode 29: "What 'Protect Your Joy' Taught Me: 7 Lessons from Living Hardcore and At Ease in 2025"

Are you watching your calling being held back by unhealthy patterns you've been tolerating? In 2025, "Protect Your Joy" became show host Shelly Rood's operating principle—not self-care, but mission stewardship. This episode reveals why protection decisions come with ongoing costs that last for years.

Ambitious leaders face a brutal truth: Sometimes the biggest threat to mission success isn't external competition—it's the environment leaders tolerate. In January 2025, show host Shelly Rood chose three words that saved her calling: Protect Your Joy. But here's what nobody tells you about protection: the demons don't die easily.

This episode walks through seven protection decisions Rood made in 2025—from launching a podcast during home chaos (hitting top 1% globally in six months) to firing profitable revenue streams that drained mission capacity. Each lesson came with third and fourth order effects she's still managing today. Court dates from a 2014 divorce. Social media slander from contractors let go. Collections calls over bills she's certain were paid.

Rood explores the difference between prevention (delaying disaster) and protection (defending what matters), Gandhi's principle that change starts with self, and why zero-tolerance policies aren't harsh—they're strategic. Plus, a preview of 2026's focus: building the ONE thing after protecting capacity.

(00:00) Introduction: Protect Your Joy

(01:21) The Mantra of Protect Your Joy

(02:27) Understanding Joy as Fuel

(03:17) Challenges and Unhealthy Patterns

(06:05) Prevention vs. Protection

(07:28) Real-World Examples of Protection

(12:52) Seven Lessons from 2025

(17:02) Mission Protection and Personal Boundaries

(24:24) Intentional Quality of Life Standards

(35:51) Conclusion: Focus for 2026

1. Why "Protect Your Joy" means mission stewardship, not self-indulgence—and how joy functions as your fuel indicator
2. The 7 protection decisions that liberate purpose-driven capacity (with ongoing costs each requires)
3. General Slocum's continuum of harm principle and why some behaviors cannot coexist with mission success
4. How launching imperfectly during chaos beat 8 years of perfectionism—and reached top 1% in 6 months

Next Week: Episode 30 - Guest Interview A powerful conversation with a leader who's built collaborative excellence without burning out. Then the following week: the full 2026 Blueprint reveal, including the shift from "Protect Your Joy" to "Build The One Thing."

Get the Gear: 📚 "The ONE Thing" by Gary Keller: https://amzn.to/49msBIB 🎯 StoryBrand.ai: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/storybrand-ai 📊 My Business Report: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/biz-report 📈 My Marketing Report: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/marketing-report

Learn More:

Are you loved for who you really are, or just the model of perfection people expect? When do ambitious leaders get to lower their standards and just be accepted? This episode answers that question with raw stories from five women veterans who discovered we don't have to choose between being excellent and being authentically ourselves.

In this special recording from the Others Over Self 2023 Leadership Conference & Women Veterans Engage - Detroit (presented by General Motors), Kelly Tulloch leads a powerful panel featuring Erica Hoover (Michigan Women Veterans & Special Populations Coordinator, MVAA), Pazzella Bonner (Homes for Heroic Veterans founder), Sarah Gagnan (Air Force veteran and GM autonomous systems specialist), and Qwynn Galloway-Salazar, Ph.D. (Founder of In Their Honor, LLC and end-of-life doula).

You'll hear stories about being told they're "too happy" for military service, modeling plus-size clothing when the industry said they didn't exist, starting businesses after being fired while caring for dying parents, and being 65 years old still working on self-acceptance. These women reveal how they built confidence through failure, transformed criticism into fuel, and discovered that sharing your light only makes it brighter.

This is about building social support networks that catch us when we're questioning everything. It's about creating communities where ambitious leaders can be both excellent and struggling, both capable and needing support—both hardcore and at ease.

CHAPTERS: (00:00) Introduction and Host's Opening Remarks (01:21) Personal Reflections and Challenges (03:31) Panel Introduction and Backgrounds (07:55) Defining Confidence (12:59) Overcoming Adversity and Building Confidence (29:53) Embracing Empathy and Understanding (30:47) Navigating Challenges and Setbacks (33:40) Advocacy and Identity (38:31) Building Confidence and Inner Strength (51:38) Final Reflections and Takeaways

IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER:

1. Why we don't have to choose between being loved and maintaining standards
2. How to build social support networks that hold you through hard moments
3. The difference between "fake it till you make it" and authentic confidence
4. Why sharing your light with others only makes yours brighter
5. How five women leaders turned their biggest setbacks into their greatest strengths

FEATURED PANELISTS: Kelly Tulloch (Panel Lead) - Military Woman Advocate, U.S. Air Force Veteran Erica Hoover - Women Veterans & Special Populations Coordinator, MVAA, U.S. Navy Veteran Pazzella Bonner - U.S. Army Veteran, Founder of Homes for Heroic Veterans, 2021 Macomb County Veteran of the Year Sarah Gagnan - Active Duty 2008-2019, Michigan Air National Guard, General Motors Autonomous Systems Specialist Qwynn Galloway-Salazar, Ph.D. - U.S. Army Veteran, Founder of In Their Honor, LLC, End-of-Life Doula & Death Educator

NEXT WEEK: Episode 29 - "Year-End Reflection: What Winning Leaders Do Differently" - We're closing out 2025 by looking at what actually worked this year and how to carry lessons forward without carrying the weight.

RESOURCES: Hardcore and At Ease Framework: https://othersoverself.com/ Strategy Session:...

Episode 27 - Ursula Hoppe: "From Head Trash to Inner Peace: The Self-Efficacy Advantage "

Ever notice how the most talented people often wait the longest to start? What if the voice in your head saying "you're not ready yet" is actually the only thing holding you back?

Air Force veteran and award-winning photographer Ursula Hoppe has built a thriving creative business by mastering one counterintuitive skill: saying yes before she has all the answers. From being told to lose 20 pounds before joining the military to launching a photography business at 50, Ursula's journey reveals how self-efficacy—the belief that you can figure things out—beats perfect preparation every time. You'll discover her mantra for launching anything ("build the plane as you fly it"), the mentorship strategy that fills skill gaps without stalling momentum, and why authentic leadership means being okay with not being for everyone.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER:

✓ Why waiting until you feel ready guarantees you'll never start

✓ The "head trash" that keeps competent people stuck and how to quiet it

✓ How to find mentors who fill your skill gaps without stopping your momentum

✓ The counterintuitive business launch strategy: advertise before your website is perfect

FEATURED GUEST:

Ursula Hoppe - Air Force Veteran & Fine Art Photographer

Ursula graduated with honors from Savannah College of Art and Design and built a successful photography business specializing in business portraits and fine art landscapes. Her work hangs in international collections from the UK to Saudi Arabia. After 11 years with a growing photography company (one of the first 10 employees who helped scale to 200 studios), she launched her own business at 50—choosing authenticity and creative freedom over financial comfort.

Connect: UrsulaHoppePhotography.com | Etsy: UrsulaHoppePhoto

NEXT WEEK: Episode 28 - Solo: "The Holiday Leadership Challenge: Maintaining Standards During Chaos"

RESOURCES:

Hardcore and At Ease Framework: https://www.OthersOverSelf.com | Strategy Session: info@missionambition.org

Affiliate Disclaimer: I only recommend products I genuinely use. Full disclosure: https://othersoverself.com/affiliate-disclaimer/

Get the Gear:

📷 Panasonic Lumix 4K Camera: https://amzn.to/3XZLzj5 | 📊 My Business Report: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/biz-report | 🎯 StoryBrand.ai: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/storybrand-ai | 📚 Business Made Simple: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/bms | 🚀 Flight School: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/flight-school | 📈 My Marketing Report: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/marketing-report

Listen: Apple |

Have you ever looked at someone else's credentials and thought "if I only had what they have"? Meanwhile, you're completely blind to the value you already bring. That kind of thinking throws off your aim and you end up hitting the wrong targets.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

In this episode, we're tackling the most dangerous blindness ambitious leaders carry: the inability to see what you actually have. Through five personal stories—including a young chaplain sitting on her Master's degree, a GED that represents hidden strengths, and focus groups that revealed unexpected intimidation—you'll discover why you're blind to your own bullseye while perfectly able to see everyone else's.

You'll learn the three core practices that help you recognize what you already have so you can stop chasing what you lack: Recognition over collection, valuing earned wisdom, and seeing equal worth in different expressions. This isn't about lowering your standards—it's about aiming with precision at targets that actually matter.

This episode connects directly to your Tactical Center (knowing your operational bullseye) and Resourceful Action (stewarding the gifts you've been given). Because you can only maximize what you can see.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction and Show Overview

01:31 The Illusion of Success Metrics

04:19 Recognizing Your Own Value

10:00 Stories of Hidden Gifts

12:30 Equal Worth, Different Expression

19:06 Ancient Wisdom on True Success

21:55 Practical Steps for Recognition

35:30 Conclusion and Next Steps

IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER

✓ Why comparing yourself to others throws off your aim and makes you hit the wrong targets

✓ The three-person audit that reveals what you're blind to (and the one question to ask them)

✓ How "small victories" compound into earned wisdom that AI can't regenerate

✓ The specific exercise to rewrite your 2026 goals from collection to stewardship

NEXT WEEK

Episode 27 - "Scaling Excellence: How One Leader Built a Self-Managing Team"

Discover the systems and mindset shifts that took a frustrated leader from micromanaging everything to building a team that maintains excellence without constant oversight.

RESOURCES & LINKS

Learn More:

• Hardcore and At Ease Framework: https://www.OthersOverSelf.com
• Join the Community: join.othersoverself.com
• Book a Strategy Session: info@missionambition.org

Affiliate Disclaimer: I only recommend products I genuinely use. Full disclosure: https://othersoverself.com/affiliate-disclaimer/

Get the Gear:

📚 The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss: https://amzn.to/493zzCi

📊 My Business Report: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/biz-report

🎯 StoryBrand.ai: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/storybrand-ai

📚 Business Made Simple: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/bms

🚀 Flight School:

What if the weight you're carrying isn't crushing you—it's preparing you? When was the last time you felt genuinely grateful for the impossible burdens leadership demands of you?

This conversation will leave you with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Chaplain Brian Webb has mastered staying present in the most impossible moments—79 casualty notifications, over 40 suicide interventions, and leading Michigan's Walking with Warriors program. He reveals why validation saves lives, the critical difference between being in recovery versus recovered, and how to lead teams through work that breaks most people. If you're carrying impossible weight right now, barely holding yourself together while everyone depends on you—this episode will change how you lead.

CHAPTERS:

(00:01:00) Meet Chaplain Brian Webb

(00:02:00) The Role of a Military Chaplain

(00:06:00) Brian Webb's Journey to Chaplaincy

(00:12:00) Challenges and Rewards of the Chaplaincy

(00:31:00) Finding Your Voice and Earning the Right to Speak

(00:48:00) The Ministry of Presence and Crisis Response

(01:00:00) Community Training and Collaboration

(01:10:00) Future Plans and Defining Success

IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER:

• Why validation is the first step in every crisis intervention—and how it applies to your Tuesday morning staff meeting
• The three core responsibilities that define meaningful leadership: nurture the living, care for the wounded, honor the dead
• How to earn the right to speak by mastering the ministry of presence
• The difference between being in recovery and being recovered—and why it matters for leading others

FEATURED GUEST:

Chaplain Brian Webb leads Michigan's Walking with Warriors program through the Department of Health and Human Services, where he oversees a team serving veterans and military families with mental health and substance use challenges. With over two decades as a military chaplain, including 79 casualty notifications and 40+ suicide interventions, Brian has mastered the art of staying present in impossible moments. Connect with Walking with Warriors at Michigan.gov/MDHHS

NEXT WEEK: Episode 26 - "End-of-Year Reset: How to Execute The Coming Year Without Burning Out"

Your plan for the upcoming is solid. The question is: can you sustain it? Join Shelly as she tackles how to execute your vision without destroying yourself in the process.

RESOURCES:

Hardcore and At Ease Framework: https://www.OthersOverSelf.com | Personal Mission Statement Workshop: info@missionambition.org | Book a Strategy Session: info@missionambition.org

Affiliate Disclaimer: I only recommend products I genuinely use. Full disclosure: https://othersoverself.com/affiliate-disclaimer/

Get the Gear:

📚 The Nazarene by Sholem Asch (featured this episode): https://amzn.to/4pZmuR7

📚 Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell (featured this episode) https://amzn.to/4pU3Wld

📊 My Business Report: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/biz-report

🎯 StoryBrand.ai:

You're surrounded by colleagues, friends, and connections - so why do you still feel isolated? Surface relationships look like community until the moment you actually need someone. Then you discover what you've been building all along: activity without depth, presence without connection.

This episode reveals why ambitious leaders end up feeling completely alone despite being constantly surrounded by people - and the principle that makes genuine connection possible. You'll discover the specific environments where depth actually happens (from the dying art of the hangar fly to the holiday table), how to recognize which relationships can bear weight, and the one question that transforms small talk into strategic insight.

Leaders stand up to be seen, but they sit down to make a lasting impact. This is about building relationships that actually matter through the Others Over Self® principle - where listening becomes leadership and depth becomes your competitive advantage.

CHAPTERS:

(00:00) Introduction and Show Overview

(00:59) Building Meaningful Relationships

(02:24) Personal Story: The Impact of Surface Relationships

(05:04) The Importance of Deep Conversations

(10:46) Creating Environments for Depth

(31:18) The Infinite Game and Sustainable Leadership

(33:21) Practical Steps for Leaders

(41:07) Conclusion and Next Episode Preview

IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER:

• Why surface relationships masquerade as community (and how to tell the difference)
• The structure + safety + time principle that makes depth possible in any context
• The pilot rule that creates psychological safety: every story only has to be 10% true
• How to recognize when you're pouring into empty wells versus building sustainable systems

NEXT WEEK: Episode 25 - Chaplain Brian Webb: "Gratitude and Grit: Leading Through Uncertainty"

Perfect timing between the holidays. We explore how spiritual resilience intersects with leadership excellence and how gratitude functions in relationships that have real depth.

RESOURCES & LINKS:

Learn More:

• Hardcore and At Ease Framework: https://www.OthersOverSelf.com
• Team Offsites & Facilitation: info@missionambition.org
• Personal Mission Statement Workshop: info@missionambition.org
• Book a Strategy Session: info@missionambition.org

Affiliate Disclaimer: I only recommend products I genuinely use. Full disclosure: https://othersoverself.com/affiliate-disclaimer/

GET THE GEAR:

📘 The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek: https://amzn.to/4rtWaQE

📊 My Business Report: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/biz-report

🎯 StoryBrand.ai: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/storybrand-ai

📚 Business Made Simple: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/bms

🚀 Flight School: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/flight-school

📈

You're prepared. You've built the right team, put systems in place, thought through every contingency. But you're still lying awake at 3 AM running worst-case scenarios. When the stakes involve people's lives and livelihoods, that vigilance becomes both your greatest strength and the thing slowly destroying you.

Today's guest spent years responding to prison gang riots in law enforcement before building a nonprofit serving veterans and first responders for 13 years. He knows the difference between strategic preparation and destructive anxiety. In this conversation, he shares how he channels hypervigilance into purposeful action, why saying "I can't handle this alone" recruits better than any pitch, and why giving away free land multiplied his impact beyond any traditional business strategy. This is living proof that you can maintain impossibly high standards while trusting the process.

CHAPTERS:

(00:00) Opening: When Vigilance Becomes Anxiety

(04:01) Meet Tim Hunnicutt: Building Zero Day

(06:42) What Makes Tim Hardcore

(09:26) Law Enforcement Days and Critical Incidents

(12:03) Understanding Hypervigilance

(16:26) From Prison Riots to Construction Therapy

(21:09) Learning from Bad Mentors

(23:41) The Power of Collaboration

(29:56) Tim's Success and Finding Peace

(34:08) Adventures and Recreational Therapy

(39:07) Teaching Blind Veterans to Hunt Buffalo

(46:01) What's Next for Tim Hunnicutt

(49:10) Managing Mental Health in High-Stakes Service

(55:00) Closing: Honoring Tim's Vulnerability

IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER:

• ✓ How to recruit hardcore people by asking for help instead of offering solutions
• ✓ The practice that transforms hypervigilance from constant anxiety into strategic preparation
• ✓ Why paying generosity forward creates more opportunities than strategic networking
• ✓ How to build systems where people step up with ownership instead of waiting for direction

FEATURED GUEST:

Tim Hunnicutt - CEO, Zero Day

Tim transitioned from paramilitary law enforcement (responding to prison gang riots) into real estate development and community building before launching Zero Day in 2012. For 13 years, his nonprofit has been serving veterans and first responders through construction training, adventure therapy, and mental health support.

NEXT WEEK: Episode 24 - Solo: "The Others Over Self® Advantage: Why Serving Others Multiplies Impact"

Discover why serving others doesn't deplete you when it's connected to genuine purpose.

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

Today, instead of our usual "Get the Gear" segment, we're leaning into Tim's lesson about paying generosity forward. The wisdom he shared didn't come cheap—it came from prison riots, witnessing teammates struggle, and years of figuring out how to serve without burning out. If this episode served you, consider supporting the show: https://hardcore-and-at-ease.captivate.fm/support

LEARN MORE:

• Hardcore and At Ease Framework: https://www.OthersOverSelf.com
• Personal Mission Statement Workshop: info@missionambition.org
• Book a Strategy Session: info@missionambition.org

SUBSCRIBE & CONNECT:

Listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube | https://othersoverself.com

Connect: Instagram: @TheShellyRood | Twitter/X: @OthersOverSelf

Email: info@missionambition.org

Work with Shelly: One-on-One Coaching | Personal Mission Statement Workshop | Team Training

Mentioned in this...