This week, Terri needs to chill the fuck out, but literally can't. Also, why time is liquid and doesn't actually exist, and the time Kim's fourth grade crush called to say, "You're ugly." Facts: The meaner a boy is, the more he likes you; your nose grows faster than the rest of your face. Plus: The time Lori got a bold-ass pixie cut and Kim got a really bad perm, and when Terri thought she and her friends were the hottest fourth graders ever. Welcome to Generation Artax.

In this episode:

• Terri can't chill on Sundays
• Time is liquid and doesn't exist
• Kim's crush called and said, "You're ugly" and Kim responds with a love letter
• We learn that the more a boy treats you like shit, the more he likes you. Cool.
• Terri learns of someone with a crush on her and she doesn't know how to handle it
• Terri's journal warns that dirty thoughts are coming
• Terri says she and her friends are the hottest fourth graders ever, because that's not gross and weird
• Your nose grows first and it's horrible
• Terri never had a perm and she was proud of her virgin hair
• Axel, our sexy European childhood hair stylist
• Lori braves a pixie cut
• Crediting Urban Outfitters, Delia, Wet Seal for our entire personalities
• Lori Lefteye Lopez
• Terri's not the kind of girl you marry because she just wants to be friends
• Terri wears breakaway pants to her 30th college reunion cuz she gay now
• Kim does prep work before reunions
• The Worm is Lori's go-to move
• UNRELATED: One piece of tech or gadgetry that we don't use anymore but you kinda miss it: The mysterious of life of no caller ID; screening your calls via answering machine; cassette tapes were garbage; B-Sides; Sam Goody; delayed gratification no longer exists; no one will ever use the word "download" in the future

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Say what you will, but having two boyfriends is really hard! How Kim coped with dueling loves, and what peak romance looks like at the mall. Also: Flowers smell like death; the Poltergeist movie fucks up our sense of reality, and does anyone look at Sissy Spacek and not think of Carrie? In Unrelated, a solid round of would-you-rathers. Welcome to Generation Artax.

In this episode:

• From Justin to … Kimmy.
• Kim feels so much pressure from all her high school boyfriends
• Peak romance: a dozen red roses in front of the mall fountain
• Kim and Terri think flowers smell like death
• As Terri ages, her tolerance for spice and fear improves
• Our fave scary movies: Event Horizon, Ghost Ship
• Terri wants to watch something fucked up
• Honoring Poltergeist…with reenactments
• Does anyone look at Sissy Spacek and think of anything but Carrie?
• Unrelated: A solid round of "Would you rather"

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We didn't intend for this week to be so body-focused, but there you have it. Rough hands, failed fingernails, aspirational boobs, lopsided boobs, and vaginas that look like a sleeping bear. In 1982, Terri dreams of having a smile that will knock all the guys out. We remember Colorforms, Shrinky Dinks, mom's pep talks, Kim's first paycheck, and then we do the "pencil test" live on the air. UNRELATED: If a movie theater audience is watching your life unfold, what are they yelling at the screen? Welcome to Generation Artax.

In this episode:

• Lori has body dysmorphia about her fingernails
• Everyone's hung up on a body part (ankles, for instance)
• ChatGPT your diet for a serious eye opening
• Mom gives Terri a pep talk
• Colorforms - a fun game made of pure PVC
• Terri manifests the biggest knockers of all
• We all try to hold a pencil under our boobs
• Lori's boobs are lopsided; the left one collapsed in on itself like a dying star
• Don't tell Kim what to wear. Ever.
• What's your vagina shaped like? A bear or a fox?
• Terri is not genitally fixated
• Kim makes bank in 1992 at day camp
• How much should pants cost? If it's over $30, Lori says it's too much
• Lori wears her shoes into the ground; she's also shoe blind
• Kim considers a career change
• UNRELATED: If a movie theater audience is watching your life unfold, what are they all yelling at the screen?

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Do we look better with makeup on? Maybe. But probably we look exactly the same. In this episode of Generation Artax, we take a look at self esteem and straight-up swagger. Lori recalls a day when she rocked some serious BDE at the Home Depot, Kim is embarrassed to admit what she thinks of herself; and Terri takes the no-make up challenge and literally no one notices. That time Lori's high school math teacher was a dick, and in Unrelated, which celebrity you know you'd be besties with. Welcome to Generation Artax.

In this episode:

• Hugga Bunch
• Calligraphy
• Kim reads a journal entry that actually embarrasses her, and we know how hard that is
• Self esteem is a super power and Kim is our hero (also why you shouldn't shit on compliments)
• Terri does the no makeup challenge and zero people notice or care
• Lori rocks her BDE at Home Depot and thinks she's in a ZZ Top video
• Terri's whole vibe changed when she came out
• Lori analyzes everything and gets called out by her math teacher, who was a huge dick
• Young Lori compares her flu to the Gulf War
• Which celebrity would you be best friends with
• Kim thinks she and Amy Poehler are the same person

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In this Valentine's Day episode of Generation Artax, we wax nostalgic about Hallmark Holidays of yore, including: Kim's need to be the patron saint of lollipops; why Lori wore an "I Heart Girls" pin; why Terri loves gifts as much as Lori hates them, and how Lori lived real-life drama at theater camp when she's cast opposite her ex in Phantom of the Opera. (It all works out in the end.) PLUS: Original music by Jared Zeus, sung by Lori.

• Everybody gets a Valentine. It's a rule.
• Kim is the patron saint of Valentine's, and buys Treaties for nobody's sweeties, because she feels bad.
• Kim feels embarrassed by all the love she received in candy form
• Everyone gets a I HEART BOYS pin except Lori, because she's too young to heart boys
• Young Terri has the least feminist shirt ever
• Kim's boyfriend's dad brings her a box of chocolate
• Terri loves gifts
• Lori hates gifts
• One time, at theater camp…
• Terri hooks up with Lori's ex because that's normal
• A guaranteed heartbreak cure that Lori discovered
• Lori sings one of Jared Zeus's original songs and it's amazing

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Look out everybody! It's the summer of 1988, and the Trespicio girls are about to hit the… driveway to lay out. Then, take an olfactory journey back to the 80s and resurrect the sweet, sweet scents of: Hawaiian Tropic, Prell, Salon Selectives. Also: Kim's not allowed to go on a date, and Terri waxes poetic in 4th grade. In Unrelated: Something you find embarrassing that no one else does. Welcome to Generation Artax.

In this episode:

• School's out for summer
• Trespicio sisters out in the sun looking for fun
• Laying out in the driveway with SPF -2
• Lori orders old bottle of Hawaiian tropic off eBay
• Kim uses the word "edibles" in a weird way
• Terri eats her Dr. Pepper Bonne Bell lip smacker
• Smells like…Prell? The fragrances of Gen X products still gets us
• Are people really using Head & Shoulders on their face?
• Hair product snafus that all involve conditioner
• Kim's not allowed to go on a date because teenage boys want to "show their maleness"
• Driving to see Coming to America in 1988 — in a Cabriolet convertible
• Terri reads from her poetry anthology circa 1982

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In this episode of Generation Artax, we ask the question, what does it all mean? Kim hoards memories. 10-year old Terri has an existential moment in the shower, and Lori believes she was smarter in another life. We discuss past lives, 80s fashion, trashy eyeliner, and how outer space is basically Tower of Terror on steroids. In Unrelated, what thing do other people wish for that you would never, ever want. Welcome to Generation Artax.

• How and what inspired journal writing (two things: it was assigned and also the Gulf War)
• Kim's positive intrusive thoughts are almost too much
• Kim is a memory hoarder
• Kim sings a cabaret of happy songs
• Space, planetariums, and existential panic attacks
• Lori cannot seem to grasp the theory of relativity
• Lori was smarter in another life
• How we're falling through space at a terrifying rate
• Terri struggles with the punk to preppy style spectrum in the late 80s
• Please tell us you remember Mandees
• Terri doesn't wear enough makeup
• Lori's biggest fear is bombing, bar none
• Terri isn't trying to go to Costa Rica

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In this episode of Generation Artax, we revisit…the mall in the 90s. We cover making out in public and private with boys who weren't that hot after all. The school dance juggernaut that was Stairway To Heaven. And Lori pulls a Brenda from 90210 and leaves her boyfriend in the care of her best friend who's a model in the great boyfriend swap of '93. Welcome to generation artax.

• The sheer analog joy of going to the mall in the 90s
• Lori discovers The Color Purple
• Terri asks her friend's brother to the dance and everyone is scandalized
• Lori has a nickname for her future self
• Avoiding the Stairway to Heaven juggernaut at the school dance
• Terri's first kiss at a teen night club
• Kim has no shame and makes out on stage
• Terri gives a TED talk in 1988 about sex and the media before TED was a thing
• Kim and Lori get judgy about Terri's school dance hookup
• Lori gets to second base
• Terri pees herself while Lori tells her second base story
• Lori pulls a Brenda from 90210 and leaves her boyfriend in the care of her best friend.

Visit our website: www.generationartax.com and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.

Got a story of your own to tell? Check out Terri's writing workshop series, The New Rules Studio at territrespicio.com/writewithme