This week, Terri needs to chill the fuck out, but literally can't. Also, why time is liquid and doesn't actually exist, and the time Kim's fourth grade crush called to say, "You're ugly." Facts: The meaner a boy is, the more he likes you; your nose grows faster than the rest of your face. Plus: The time Lori got a bold-ass pixie cut and Kim got a really bad perm, and when Terri thought she and her friends were the hottest fourth graders ever. Welcome to Generation Artax.

In this episode:

• Terri can't chill on Sundays
• Time is liquid and doesn't exist
• Kim's crush called and said, "You're ugly" and Kim responds with a love letter
• We learn that the more a boy treats you like shit, the more he likes you. Cool.
• Terri learns of someone with a crush on her and she doesn't know how to handle it
• Terri's journal warns that dirty thoughts are coming
• Terri says she and her friends are the hottest fourth graders ever, because that's not gross and weird
• Your nose grows first and it's horrible
• Terri never had a perm and she was proud of her virgin hair
• Axel, our sexy European childhood hair stylist
• Lori braves a pixie cut
• Crediting Urban Outfitters, Delia, Wet Seal for our entire personalities
• Lori Lefteye Lopez
• Terri's not the kind of girl you marry because she just wants to be friends
• Terri wears breakaway pants to her 30th college reunion cuz she gay now
• Kim does prep work before reunions
• The Worm is Lori's go-to move
• UNRELATED: One piece of tech or gadgetry that we don't use anymore but you kinda miss it: The mysterious of life of no caller ID; screening your calls via answering machine; cassette tapes were garbage; B-Sides; Sam Goody; delayed gratification no longer exists; no one will ever use the word "download" in the future

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Say what you will, but having two boyfriends is really hard! How Kim coped with dueling loves, and what peak romance looks like at the mall. Also: Flowers smell like death; the Poltergeist movie fucks up our sense of reality, and does anyone look at Sissy Spacek and not think of Carrie? In Unrelated, a solid round of would-you-rathers. Welcome to Generation Artax.

In this episode:

• From Justin to … Kimmy.
• Kim feels so much pressure from all her high school boyfriends
• Peak romance: a dozen red roses in front of the mall fountain
• Kim and Terri think flowers smell like death
• As Terri ages, her tolerance for spice and fear improves
• Our fave scary movies: Event Horizon, Ghost Ship
• Terri wants to watch something fucked up
• Honoring Poltergeist…with reenactments
• Does anyone look at Sissy Spacek and think of anything but Carrie?
• Unrelated: A solid round of "Would you rather"

Visit our website: www.generationartax.com and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.

We didn't intend for this week to be so body-focused, but there you have it. Rough hands, failed fingernails, aspirational boobs, lopsided boobs, and vaginas that look like a sleeping bear. In 1982, Terri dreams of having a smile that will knock all the guys out. We remember Colorforms, Shrinky Dinks, mom's pep talks, Kim's first paycheck, and then we do the "pencil test" live on the air. UNRELATED: If a movie theater audience is watching your life unfold, what are they yelling at the screen? Welcome to Generation Artax.

In this episode:

• Lori has body dysmorphia about her fingernails
• Everyone's hung up on a body part (ankles, for instance)
• ChatGPT your diet for a serious eye opening
• Mom gives Terri a pep talk
• Colorforms - a fun game made of pure PVC
• Terri manifests the biggest knockers of all
• We all try to hold a pencil under our boobs
• Lori's boobs are lopsided; the left one collapsed in on itself like a dying star
• Don't tell Kim what to wear. Ever.
• What's your vagina shaped like? A bear or a fox?
• Terri is not genitally fixated
• Kim makes bank in 1992 at day camp
• How much should pants cost? If it's over $30, Lori says it's too much
• Lori wears her shoes into the ground; she's also shoe blind
• Kim considers a career change
• UNRELATED: If a movie theater audience is watching your life unfold, what are they all yelling at the screen?

Visit our website: www.generationartax.com and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.