Every year, millions of people set New Year’s resolutions — and by mid-January, most of them feel frustrated, discouraged, or convinced they’ve failed. In this episode, Andrew and Cat break down why resolutions so often fall apart, why it’s not a personal flaw, and what actually works if you want real, lasting change.

This conversation is about releasing shame, understanding how your brain and nervous system work, and building habits that support who you’re becoming — not punishing yourself into change.

1. Why most resolutions fail by design
2. How going “too big, too fast” overwhelms your nervous system
3. The difference between goals driven by shame vs. excitement
4. Why motivation doesn’t come first — action does
5. How identity-based habits outperform willpower
6. Why systems matter more than motivation
7. How overwhelm leads to avoidance and freeze mode
8. Why rest and flexibility are part of consistency

1. They’re too vague (“get healthy,” “be better,” “lose weight”)
2. They’re rooted in self-criticism instead of care
3. They rely on motivation instead of systems
4. They ignore real life stress, illness, and bad days
5. They don’t account for who you actually are

Start smaller than feels necessary

Tiny, achievable actions build momentum. Big goals still matter — but they must be broken into bite-sized steps your brain can handle.

Create systems, not rules

Motivation fades. Systems stay. Decide how you’ll show up on hard days, not just what you’ll do on perfect ones.

Build identity-based habits

Instead of “I need to work out,” try:

1. “I’m someone who moves every day”
2. “I’m someone who shows up, even imperfectly”

Know yourself honestly

Some people need accountability. Others don’t. There’s no shame — just strategy.

Plan for real life

Have a Plan B for sick days, stressful weeks, and low-energy moments. Missing one day doesn’t break a habit — quitting does.

Action creates motivation

Don’t wait to feel inspired. Do the smallest version of the habit — motivation will follow.

1. Change driven by shame rarely survives stress
2. Overwhelm triggers avoidance
3. Pausing does not erase progress

Rejection can feel deeply personal — whether it’s not getting the job, not hearing back, being left out, or feeling unwanted in relationships. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack why rejection hurts so much, what’s actually happening in your brain when it happens, and how to move through it without letting it define your self-worth.

This conversation is for anyone who tends to replay rejection over and over, spiral into self-blame, or wonder what’s “wrong” with them after hearing no.

• Why rejection activates the brain’s pain centers
• How rejection threatens belonging, not your value
• The difference between what happened and the story you tell yourself
• Why rejection often feels like an identity attack
• How timing, fit, and context matter more than personal failure
• Why being rejected doesn’t mean you were evaluated fairly
• How to stop internalizing rejection and move forward with confidence

• Rejection is an event, not a verdict
• Not being chosen doesn’t mean you’re unworthy
• You don’t need universal approval to belong
• Rejection often protects you from misalignment
• One “no” does not define your future

• Let yourself feel disappointed without shaming yourself
• Name the emotion instead of becoming it
• Separate facts from assumptions
• Reconnect with moments where you have been chosen
• Keep your identity bigger than one outcome

You are not your last rejection. You are allowed to grieve it — and you are allowed to move on without carrying it as proof of anything about you.

Andrew shares a moment of calm and presence before a busy season, while Cat reflects on the joy of a slow, grounding day spent resetting her space and energy.

Bad days happen to everyone — the spilled coffee, the rude driver, the overwhelming to-do list, the kid meltdown, or the spiraling thoughts that won’t quit. But a bad day doesn’t have to turn into a bad week or a bad season. In this episode, Andrew and Cat break down exactly what’s happening in your body and mind during a tough day and share practical, science-backed steps to interrupt the spiral and truly reset.

This is your guide to calming your nervous system, grounding in the present, and giving yourself the compassion you actually need.

• Why your brain goes into “fight, flight, or freeze” during a bad day
• How overstimulation + emotional flooding make everything feel worse
• The Window of Tolerance and why you pop out of it
• Why powering through backfires
• What not to do after a bad day
• Simple grounding techniques that work in minutes
• How to shift your environment and regulate your nervous system
• How to stop the negative momentum before it becomes a bad week

Normalize it: “This is a bad day. It’s temporary.”

Awareness interrupts the mental tumble.

When your mind spins, your body’s in survival mode. Try:

• Box breathing (4–4–4–4)
• Double inhale + long exhale
• Rubbing your arms
• Feet planted firmly on the ground
• Repeating: “I am safe right now.”

Bad days create physical tension. Release it with:

• A fast walk
• Gentle stretching
• Shaking out your limbs
• A moment of dancing
• Stomping your feet (great for kids and adults)

Movement shifts your physiology faster than thoughts ever will.

Your nervous system needs a scene shift:

• Step outside for fresh air and sunlight
• Splash cold water on your face
• Take a warm shower (Cat’s dad’s universal cure!)

A new environment interrupts the emotional loop.

Once calmer, try:

• Tea or cool water
• A short nap
• A self-hug or safe, comforting touch
• Journaling what triggered you
• Asking for a hug from someone you trust

Your brain wants to replay the bad moment a hundred times.

Interrupt it with: “I don’t need to carry this anymore.”

• Don’t force positivity (“I’m fine” makes it worse)
• Don’t ruminate — replaying it keeps the stress alive
• Don’t doom scroll
• Don’t isolate yourself
• Don’t make major decisions
• Don’t self-criticize

Treat yourself how you’d treat someone you love — gently.

• Realizing she was dysregulated without noticing it — and how helpful it is when someone gently mirrors that back.
• The reminder that pushing through only leads to overwhelm, overreacting, and unnecessary conflict.

• Understanding the hyperarousal