Have you ever found yourself glancing around a room (or a Zoom meeting, or a group chat, or the chaos of your living room) and wondered, “Who put me in charge—don’t they know I still feel sixteen most days?” Yeah, me too.

In this episode of “Different, Not Broken,” I, Lauren Howard—L2 for the cool kids —am letting you in on the messiest, most liberating secret of adulthood: nobody, and I mean nobody, actually knows what they’re doing.

This isn’t some polished, performative encouragement to “fake it ‘til you make it.” I am talking about pulling back the curtain on why even the experts you look up to are mostly winging it.

I share my real experiences from the trenches—whether that’s running a telehealth company (where people call me for the right answer and I’m hunting for the adult in the room just like you), navigating ultra-complex compliance laws (with the help of attorneys who actually give me more “choose your own adventure” than clear answers), or trying to make sense of parenting a tiny human who bites (and I mean literally bites—this is not a metaphor).

So why should you listen? Because if you’ve ever felt the crushing weight of thinking you’re the only one improvising—newsflash, you aren’t.

I talk through the reality that none of us are actually the “adultier adult” we’re desperately searching for.

So, if you want to hear the truth about life behind the curtain—about what really happens when everyone is supposedly “adulting”—come hang out with me. We’ll laugh, we might cry, but we’ll definitely call B.S. on the myth of the perfectly composed grown-up.

And if you somehow find that mythical actual adult who has it all figured out, send them my way. Until then, I’ll be right here, fumbling forward, and inviting you to do the same.

Love you, mean it.

00:00 Unfiltered Expertise and Telehealth Insight

05:11 Imposter Syndrome Amid Experienced Peers

08:12 Indecision in Legal Consultations

12:40 Embracing Uncertainty and Growth

16:00 "Vacation with Kids: Not Restful"

16:46 "No Obligation to Perform"

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Well done, you've decided to escape MAGA. Here's the learning moment.

It finally happened. Someone said it out loud. Someone from the inside. Not in a viral Twitter thread or anonymous Reddit post, but right here, in full view and full voice.

Most of us have our ideas — the way we imagine 'the MAGA community'.

We picture the caricature: all bluster and bravado, insulated in an impenetrable echo chamber, barking at the world. But do we ever ask, “How does someone end up there?”

Or what it feels like from the inside, when you aren’t just reading headlines, but living — or surviving — through them?

On this episode of Different, Not Broken, we break open the familiar narratives to let the real, messy, complicated humanity step into the light.

Hi, I'm Lauren "L2" Howard, and in this episode I spend time with Beckie Eckhart — a member of our quirky, unhinged community online — who, in passing, mentioned something I never expected: she came from the MAGA world.

Like, really from it. And she got out.

This conversation isn’t a confessional. It isn’t an indictment. It’s somewhere in between — the untangling of shame, the naming of trauma, and a determination not to let that pain become an inheritance for others.

Beckie tells us what it means to be groomed by the people and systems you’re supposed to trust.

She shares what it feels like when religiosity wraps up with white supremacy and fear, and how the hooks get in so deep you can’t even see the cage around you.

She opens up about living in a state of crisis, the steep price of breaking away, and what healing really looks like when you’re holding a hundred kinds of regret in one hand and picking up hammers to build something better with the other.

If you want to know why MAGA is both a cult and a symptom — and why sometimes compassion is harder than criticism — Beckie’s story will stop you in your tracks.

If you’re looking for hope that people can wake up, change radically, and fight for something better… well, she’s proof, stubborn and scrappy and full-hearted.

If you’ve ever wanted to understand — really understand — why so many Americans are still stuck, how indoctrination works on the brain (and heart), and what it takes to walk out of the fire, this is one episode you don’t want to skip.

We’re not promising easy answers. But we are opening a door.

Thanks for being here and being open to the hard things.

We’ll keep shoving the door wider, together.

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Have you ever caught yourself rehearsing your 'acceptable' self before walking into a room full of strangers?

You know — slapping on that thin, artificial smile, smoothing out every quirk for the comfort of everyone else, and realizing you’re running a (very professional) version of a one-person Broadway show called, “Make Me Palatable”?

Hi, I’m Lauren Howard (People call me "L2"), and this week on "Different, Not Broken", we’re pressing record on a conversation most of us never have out loud: Do you find yourself needing to wear a mask?

In this episode, I admit something that surprised even me: I almost never have to mask anymore.

Freedom, right? But — plot twist — it turns out that’s not because I’m some brave authenticity unicorn.

So, what happens when a self-declared, professional non-masker lands in the exact kind of 'grown-up' cocktail hour her younger self would’ve run from?

Let’s just say it involves neurodivergent pre-planning, existential dread, and exactly zero interest in “introducing myself to some stranger just because that’s what adults do.”

If you’ve ever felt like the real you is just a bit too much (or not enough) for the room, this one’s for you.

(P.S. If you find a secret trick for ordering drinks like a normal adult at a work party, please message me. For science.)

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00:00 Selective Social Engagement

05:04 "Fashionably Late Party Entrance"

09:24 First Impressions Evolve Quickly

10:57 "Obligations and Friendship Dynamics"

15:16 Ending Calls Unconventionally

17:06 "Ending Conversations Simply"

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Yep, I'm back, caffeinated and undeterred, ready to take on the swirling mess of “autism registries,” junk science, and that perennial fixture of Twitter meltdowns: RFK Jr. himself.

It's not for the faint of heart—or for anyone who thinks the federal government has a “big red medical record button” (newsflash: it doesn’t).

Are you exhausted by the flood of misinformation around autism and tired of policymakers who couldn’t diagnose a runny nose, let alone understand complex neurodiversity?

I've got your back.

I've been running national mental and behavioral health organizations, helping autistic folks get real, accessible diagnoses, and pushing for patient-first, clinician-also-first, accessible-always care.

And I'm not here for the fantasy that “good autistics” and “bad autistics” are some kind of moral spectrum, or to let anyone label people as “burdens” because a guy with a microphone doesn’t understand science.

This episode pulls back the curtain on why the proposed national “autism registry” isn’t just misguided, but fundamentally impossible.

Listen as I call out the shadow incentives behind these political crusades—why it’s less about public health than…well, padding the pockets of a few very persistent anti-vaxxers.

It’s market research, not science, dressed up like a crusade. And it comes directly at the expense of real autistic people who are already fighting for space, resources, and dignity.

If you’re wondering how these hot takes at the top reach deep into everyday community life—shaping infighting, stoking fear, and making the realities of being autistic even harder—you'll be wanting to listen.

And, as always, we'll answer a question from our community in our "Small Talk" segment.

Ready? Press play. Spark some hope. And get the real story.

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02:00 Eugenics Rhetoric - Ugh!

05:17 Autism Registry Data Mismanagement

07:36 Inaccessible Universal Medical Data

13:11 Flawed Data Sharing Assumptions Exposed

15:33 Debunking Autism-Vaccine Myth

17:40 RFK's Vaccine Injury Profit Motive

21:41 Handling Unwanted Job Discussions

25:23 "Truck Driver's Evasive Answer"

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I’m obsessed with my own podcast stats.

There! I said it.

If the first step is admitting you have a problem, then…well, consider this episode my very public confession.

But here’s the real kicker: I never saw this coming.

I didn’t realize hitting 'refresh' on the analytics page of my podcast hosting dashboard would become my new form of adrenaline. Or that watching the listener count go up (or, terrifyingly, down) would trigger a rollercoaster of feelings straight out of a neurotic coming-of-age movie starring a main character who really needs to learn to enjoy the ride.

If you’ve been following along on Threads or ever found yourself spiraling because you suddenly cared way too much about something you didn’t even know you could care about?

This episode is about stats, ego, validation, self-doubt, and, yes, generational trauma—all tangled up with the anxious humor only someone with a dedicated “kinahura” detector can provide.

I talk about what it’s like to watch the numbers climb (and sometimes fall), and how ego, imposter syndrome, and a hefty sense of “why are you all here again?” combine to create the weirdest kind of nervous excitement imaginable.

Thanks for being here, friends (repeat listeners, you’re my favorite kind of statistical anomaly).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to refresh the analytics—again.

Love you, mean it.

Why is behavioral health so impossibly hard to access, navigate, and survive—especially if you’re wired a bit differently? Maybe you’ve asked yourself that before. We have too.

Heck, we’ve made a whole business (and apparently, a whole podcast) out of asking exactly that: Why does it have to be so hard?

Welcome to “Different, Not Broken”—the podcast where bureaucratic tangles, soul-draining waitlists, and “bring your own magic decoder ring” healthcare red tape get ripped apart, re-examined, and (when possible) outsmarted.

I’m Lauren "L2" Howard and I can promise you this:

In this episode, I peel back the curtain and share how a simple (if stubbornly repeated) question—"Why does this have to be so difficult?"—became the engine for everything I do.

Clinical dead-ends? Check.

Six-month waits and insurance mazes for autism and ADHD care? Rechecked.

People winding up in the ER instead of finding someone who could actually help, before the crisis boiled over? Double-checked and regrettably, deeply familiar.

But what if you didn’t have to run that gauntlet?

What if someone just built a bridge?

When my team and I ran face-first into the “that’s impossible” wall, we started looking for secret doors.

Sometimes, all it took was radical honesty and a burning refusal to accept the status quo.

PLUS: In this week’s small talk, the community asks, “How do I answer, ‘Tell me about yourself?’ without feeling like I’m humble-bragging my way to nowhere?”

Hit that follow button, share with your friends, or drop us a note about your own impossible-seeming battle with the system.

Every listen helps us make it just a little less hard for the next person.

And if you need daily reminders that you’re good enough, weird enough, and human enough—even without a signed diagnosis? You know where to find us.

Let’s make behavioral health make sense… for all of us.

I'll talk to you as soon as you click play...

00:00 Access Barriers in Mental Health

04:32 Simplifying Crisis Care Access

07:19 Streamlining Adult Autism Testing

10:23 Streamlining Healthcare Processes

14:44 "Rethinking Autism Diagnosis Necessity"

17:11 "You Deserve Softness and Light"

20:17 "Championing Self-Accomplishment Over Stereotypes"

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Why you have to ask the 'stupid' questions. Seriously.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But, L2, I’d rather set my hair on fire than look clueless in front of a room full of people (or, for that matter, one person I secretly—or not-so-secretly—want to impress).”

Hi! I’m Lauren Howard (but you can call me L2—everyone does), and this is Different, Not Broken—the podcast for anyone who’s ever wondered if they’re the only person who can’t quite read between the lines. Spoiler: you’re not alone, and you definitely aren’t broken.

Today, we’re taking on one of the stickiest, sweatiest, most universal social anxieties: the fear of looking 'dumb' by asking questions everyone else must already know the answer to. (You know, the questions you furiously Google at 1am because—let’s be honest—Google is not here for your nuanced, deeply personal, extremely context-specific conversational crisis.)

We’re talking about the actual reason it feels like everyone else in the room knows what’s expected. Except you.

And more importantly, why the people who seem the smartest might actually be as confused as you are.

Come for the reminders that communication isn’t one-size-fits-all; stay for the dead dad jokes, the unfiltered storytelling, and the small but mighty nuggets that might just make life make a little more sense.

Plus—Patreon insiders get access to our text line for real-time social script help. It’s a thing. It’s working. You’re invited.

Here's the link - https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/patreon

If you’ve ever second-guessed yourself out of asking for what you need, or just want to feel less alone in a world full of unsaid rules, press play on this episode.

P.S. Oh yeah... if you want to learn how trauma, grief, and novelty work in your brain—and how repetition is the magic ingredient for making even the worst things boring in the end—don’t skip the final ten minutes. For the Freud stuff.

Plus, you might catch a glimpse of the Dungeons & Dragons/DSM-5 crossover you never knew you needed. IYKYK.

Hit play. You have questions. So do we. Turns out, that’s actually the point.

03:13 Just Ask

08:47 Encourage Open Communication

09:48 Embrace Reactions, Clarify Boundaries

15:04 Wartime Child Evacuations in WWII

17:28 Brain Processes Trauma Repetitively

21:40 Dungeons and Dragons? WTF?

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I added some bullhorn for effect.

Hey, It’s "Different, Not Broken", and I’m Lauren Howard — "L2" if you’re friendly or just prefer to keep things efficient.

And I’m here to shatter one of the workplace’s worst-kept secrets: the idea that a direct deposit into your bank account means you have to swallow abuse, keep quiet, and thank your lucky stars someone’s tolerating you.

Spoiler alert — it doesn’t.

But it’s not all righteous fire and rage-quits around here.

I’ve been there—trapped, anxious, warped by a job that paid my rent but cost me chunks of my mental health. If you’re reading this, odds are, you’ve been there too, or you’re not sure if you have…which, as I’ll tell you, is usually its own answer.

So, what’s in this episode?

If you’re tired of advice that boils down to “just quit!” (as if you can pay your landlord in righteous anger), or if gut-level honesty about workplace dysfunction is your jam, you’re in the right place.

We’ll cover survival tactics for the in-the-trenches folks, whether you’re just trying to outlast management’s latest round of corporate "Hunger Games" or you’re documenting every microaggression just in case you need to lawyer up.

You’ll hear how to find and fortify your safe spaces (even if one is just the friend who knows exactly what your "dunk” is), and why no, actually, you shouldn’t have to choose between sanity and survival.

It’s not just you. You deserve to feel safe at work—like, day-one safe, “where’s the fire exit” safe, not “will HR gaslight me if I bring this up” safe. Because most of us need our jobs, but none of us need to be broken by them.

And because finding one small, practical step of control can be the thing that gets you through another day (or the thing that lights the spark that starts real change).

Oh, and if you needed one more reason? If you’ve ever needed to scream into the void that you really, truly deserve better—or just want to hear me call out corporate bullsh*t with the gusto it deserves—you’re our people.

Hop in. As always, we’ll be loud. We’ll be real. We’ll be here—different, not broken.

And by the end of the episode, you might just believe it a little more.

(PS: If you know where to find a magical “donk” for your phone charger, or a support group of people who just get your weird sound-laden language, don’t keep it to yourself. Some of us are still looking.)

Listen now. Let yourself feel seen. And remember: A paycheck is not a permission slip for abuse. Ever.

04:05 You're Entitled to Safety at Work

07:14 Navigating Job Mobility and Abuse

10:13 Document Your Experiences, Consult Legal Help

15:21 You Deserve Better: Recognize Abuse

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